RoseGuardian
Member
Hi I just wanted to share part of the first chapter of the remake of my game RPG Maker VX game Eternal Destiny. I am currently writing it as a story first before I put it the game. Also I plan to make it into manga as well. I just want to make sure it sounds right. Also if I make this into a manga I might want to self publish it so please do not steal the story. I am only posting it to make sure it sounds good. My grammar is horrible and there might be typos that spell and grammar check missed in Microsoft Word. Also fair warning there is a little swearing. Here is part of the first chapter I plan to make into a game.
Eternal Destiny
By: Megan Byrd
Eternal Destiny
By: Megan Byrd
Chapter 1: The Star Blade
It was very late at night as Sengal sat at his table writing his novel.
“I hope the publishers like this story, hopefully,” said Sengal. I’ve been rejected so many times it’s not funny.”
As soon as these words left his mouth, his mother Queen Artina knocked on his door and came into his room.
“Sengal its way past midnight, you need to get some sleep,” she said. I don’t want Leon to yell at you or hit you again.”
“Mom, you know I hit him back,” said Sengal. Ever since dad died he’s been abusive towards you and me. I wish we could run away from that show called uncle of mine.”
“We can’t run away from my brother,” said Artina. The city of Korsin needs us. Trust me you’ll be king one day and you’ll understand. Now get to bed.”
The next day Sengal walked around the market district with his best friend Balagan. Balagan was a tall handsome man with red hair and blue eyes. However he was an extreme pervert towards woman especially pretty and beautiful ones.
“Man I love this city, I hope one day I’ll find a beautiful maiden and sweep her off her feet, then marry her,” said Balagan. All she has to do is be very beautiful.
Sengal looked at Balagan with a bored expression.
“Really Balagan, not every woman in the world is drop dead gorgeous,” said Sengal. Trust me you won’t find a woman that looks exactly how you picture her in your fantasy.”
“Aw, you’re no fun Sengal,” said Balagan.
“I’m going to get something to eat at the pub, you can come but you better behave this time, and no beer!” exclaimed Sengal.
“Why not any beer, I’m two years older than you?” said Balagan. You’re not even old enough to drink yet.”
“The last time you had some you had one too many and hit on every woman that you saw there,” said Sengal.
They then went to the pub. The pub was a place where people loved to hang out and drink. Not to mention get dates and have fun.
As Sengal and Balagan sat at their table waiting for their food the bartender who was a woman with brown hair, brown eyes, small pigtails and dressed in a brown outfit.
She was serving customers, however one draggy looking man started bothering her.
“Hey, lady you look hot how about we go somewhere alone,” he asked.
“No, thank you,” she said.
“I wasn’t asking,” said the man.
He then claimed over the bar and grabbed her.
“Hey, don’t do that!” she yelled.
“You’re coming with me!” yelled the man.
“Where is the bouncer?” asked Balagan.
“That guy is the bouncer,” said a woman sitting at the table next to them.
People started to get up and leave even bothering to help or do anything.
Sengal then got up bursting with rage.
“Um, Sengal, I don’t think you should go over there,” said Balagan.
He completely ignored him and stormed over to the man.
“Look she said no!” yelled Sengal. She’s not interested, that is all you need to know! Now leave her alone!”
“Oh really, you’re just jealous because you want her,” said the man.
Sengal then grabbed the man and punched him in the face.
“You’re a pig!” yelled Sengal. The woman is not interested!”
“Oh, really!” yelled the man.
He then grabbed Sengal and punched him the face, then threw him down on the floor.
Balagan then got up very quickly and ran over to Sengal.
“Sorry sir, we’re just now leaving,” said Balagan. Please forgive my friend he can be a little hot headed.”
The girl then slapped the man and went back to work.
Balagan then dragged Sengal out of the pub.
“Why did you do that?” asked Sengal. That man wouldn’t leave her alone.
“It’s not up to you to defend everyone,” said Balagan. That woman should have got the manager.”
“What would the manager have done, kick him out just for him to come back the next day!” exclaimed Sengal.
“Sengal please calm down, your safety is more important” said Balagan. I couldn’t let you get killed over that.
“People say that this city is the best place to be!” yelled Sengal. They don’t even see or realize that if they lived here its trash! All that the people who live here do is sit on their lazy ass and do nothing if they see someone in trouble! They’re all a bunch of liars and deceivers who all deserve to go to Hell!”
“Sengal”, said Balagan.
Sengal then ran off out of the town and stood by the lake near the forest.
“Why do I always fail at things?” he asked himself while looking into the water. I can’t do anything right!”
A woman’s voice then said; “Don’t be so negative.”
A woman with long black hair, purple eyes, wearing a beaded head piece with a blue jewel in the middle, and wearing a black dress then came out of the forest.
“Who are you?” asked Sengal.
“I’m Monique, princess of the dragon city Era,” she answered.
“Why did you come all the way out here?” asked Sengal.
“This may seem weird but the Seers of Seer’s Peak asked me to find you,” she answered. They said that you are the only one who could stop Queen Sorsha from resurrecting the Grand Anigma Beast.”
“What are you talking about and how do you know it’s me?” asked Sengal. I’m a prince not a hero. I write novels for a living, not save the world.”
“None of your novels have been accepted and published,” said Monique.
“How do you know that?” asked Sengal.
“The seers they told me everything about you and they described to me what you look like,” she said. They also know you have scars on your body from your abusive uncle.”
“Um, I better go back to the city,” said Sengal with an embarrassed look on his face.
Sengal then went back to Korsin, where Balagan was waiting.
“Where did you go?” asked Balagan.
“Why?” Sengal asked sarcastically.
“Hey no need to be grouchy,” said Balagan.
“I’m going home,” said Sengal.
“Instead of going home, why don’t you just help me find some herbs in the forest?” asked Balagan. My grandma wants to make some of her soup tonight.”
“Fine,” said Sengal.
They then went into the forest to find the herbs. As they wandered the forest picking herbs, Sengal saw a woman with long green hair, red eyes and dressed I a black dress with her hair tied back looking at him from a distance behind the bushes.
He then suddenly collapsed and was out cold. Balagan, then ran over to him to check if he was okay.
“Sengal wake up,” he said.
He didn’t respond at all. So Balagan checked his pulse and he was still alive.
Balagan then picked him and instead of taking him home he took him to his house where his grandma was and put him in the guest room.
Balagan’s grandma’s name was Elias. She was in the kitchen baking cookies for dessert when Balagan walked in there.
After he put him in the guest room he went into the kitchen to talk to his grandma.
After Balgan talked to his grandma Sengal woke up the next day.
“What happened and how did I get here?” Sengal asked.
Balagan was sitting the chair next to the bed.
“You passed out in the forest yesterday,” Balagan answered.
“Yesterday, oh no,” said Sengal. Leon is going to be mad again.”
“Don’t worry about him,” said Balagan. When was the last time you ate? We didn’t even get to eat at the pub yesterday.”
“I don’t know, sometime last week,” Sengal answered.
“Sengal you know you need to eat,” said Balagan.
“How can I when I’m locked in my room all day and the servants are ordered to ignore me,” said Sengal.
“What!” Balagan exclaimed. You’re uncle locks you in your room!”
“The only way I can get out is if I climb out the tower window,” said Sengal.
“Your room is in the tower!” Balagan exclaimed. That King Leon sounds like a big ass hole! He shouldn’t order the servants to ignore you. Why didn’t you ever tell me this before?
“I didn’t want you to worry,” said Sengal. Back when my father was alive he was a very kind a generous man. He helped the people in this town a lot. My room wasn’t always in the tower. It used to be downstairs, but Leon took the room away from me and made it a guest room. However Leon wasn’t always like that.”
“What made him that way?” asked Balagan.
“My mother and his wife used to be friends,” said Sengal. My mother and he were very young when my mom became queen. After I was born my mother went to the forest with his wife to gather berries and stuff, when suddenly his wife was attacked by an Anigma Beast. She died and ever since then King Leon blamed my mother for her death and takes it out on both of us. Leon gives me and my mom no freedom. He won’t even let us stay up too late at night because he thinks it makes him look bad to the others living in the castle.”
It was very late at night as Sengal sat at his table writing his novel.
“I hope the publishers like this story, hopefully,” said Sengal. I’ve been rejected so many times it’s not funny.”
As soon as these words left his mouth, his mother Queen Artina knocked on his door and came into his room.
“Sengal its way past midnight, you need to get some sleep,” she said. I don’t want Leon to yell at you or hit you again.”
“Mom, you know I hit him back,” said Sengal. Ever since dad died he’s been abusive towards you and me. I wish we could run away from that show called uncle of mine.”
“We can’t run away from my brother,” said Artina. The city of Korsin needs us. Trust me you’ll be king one day and you’ll understand. Now get to bed.”
The next day Sengal walked around the market district with his best friend Balagan. Balagan was a tall handsome man with red hair and blue eyes. However he was an extreme pervert towards woman especially pretty and beautiful ones.
“Man I love this city, I hope one day I’ll find a beautiful maiden and sweep her off her feet, then marry her,” said Balagan. All she has to do is be very beautiful.
Sengal looked at Balagan with a bored expression.
“Really Balagan, not every woman in the world is drop dead gorgeous,” said Sengal. Trust me you won’t find a woman that looks exactly how you picture her in your fantasy.”
“Aw, you’re no fun Sengal,” said Balagan.
“I’m going to get something to eat at the pub, you can come but you better behave this time, and no beer!” exclaimed Sengal.
“Why not any beer, I’m two years older than you?” said Balagan. You’re not even old enough to drink yet.”
“The last time you had some you had one too many and hit on every woman that you saw there,” said Sengal.
They then went to the pub. The pub was a place where people loved to hang out and drink. Not to mention get dates and have fun.
As Sengal and Balagan sat at their table waiting for their food the bartender who was a woman with brown hair, brown eyes, small pigtails and dressed in a brown outfit.
She was serving customers, however one draggy looking man started bothering her.
“Hey, lady you look hot how about we go somewhere alone,” he asked.
“No, thank you,” she said.
“I wasn’t asking,” said the man.
He then claimed over the bar and grabbed her.
“Hey, don’t do that!” she yelled.
“You’re coming with me!” yelled the man.
“Where is the bouncer?” asked Balagan.
“That guy is the bouncer,” said a woman sitting at the table next to them.
People started to get up and leave even bothering to help or do anything.
Sengal then got up bursting with rage.
“Um, Sengal, I don’t think you should go over there,” said Balagan.
He completely ignored him and stormed over to the man.
“Look she said no!” yelled Sengal. She’s not interested, that is all you need to know! Now leave her alone!”
“Oh really, you’re just jealous because you want her,” said the man.
Sengal then grabbed the man and punched him in the face.
“You’re a pig!” yelled Sengal. The woman is not interested!”
“Oh, really!” yelled the man.
He then grabbed Sengal and punched him the face, then threw him down on the floor.
Balagan then got up very quickly and ran over to Sengal.
“Sorry sir, we’re just now leaving,” said Balagan. Please forgive my friend he can be a little hot headed.”
The girl then slapped the man and went back to work.
Balagan then dragged Sengal out of the pub.
“Why did you do that?” asked Sengal. That man wouldn’t leave her alone.
“It’s not up to you to defend everyone,” said Balagan. That woman should have got the manager.”
“What would the manager have done, kick him out just for him to come back the next day!” exclaimed Sengal.
“Sengal please calm down, your safety is more important” said Balagan. I couldn’t let you get killed over that.
“People say that this city is the best place to be!” yelled Sengal. They don’t even see or realize that if they lived here its trash! All that the people who live here do is sit on their lazy ass and do nothing if they see someone in trouble! They’re all a bunch of liars and deceivers who all deserve to go to Hell!”
“Sengal”, said Balagan.
Sengal then ran off out of the town and stood by the lake near the forest.
“Why do I always fail at things?” he asked himself while looking into the water. I can’t do anything right!”
A woman’s voice then said; “Don’t be so negative.”
A woman with long black hair, purple eyes, wearing a beaded head piece with a blue jewel in the middle, and wearing a black dress then came out of the forest.
“Who are you?” asked Sengal.
“I’m Monique, princess of the dragon city Era,” she answered.
“Why did you come all the way out here?” asked Sengal.
“This may seem weird but the Seers of Seer’s Peak asked me to find you,” she answered. They said that you are the only one who could stop Queen Sorsha from resurrecting the Grand Anigma Beast.”
“What are you talking about and how do you know it’s me?” asked Sengal. I’m a prince not a hero. I write novels for a living, not save the world.”
“None of your novels have been accepted and published,” said Monique.
“How do you know that?” asked Sengal.
“The seers they told me everything about you and they described to me what you look like,” she said. They also know you have scars on your body from your abusive uncle.”
“Um, I better go back to the city,” said Sengal with an embarrassed look on his face.
Sengal then went back to Korsin, where Balagan was waiting.
“Where did you go?” asked Balagan.
“Why?” Sengal asked sarcastically.
“Hey no need to be grouchy,” said Balagan.
“I’m going home,” said Sengal.
“Instead of going home, why don’t you just help me find some herbs in the forest?” asked Balagan. My grandma wants to make some of her soup tonight.”
“Fine,” said Sengal.
They then went into the forest to find the herbs. As they wandered the forest picking herbs, Sengal saw a woman with long green hair, red eyes and dressed I a black dress with her hair tied back looking at him from a distance behind the bushes.
He then suddenly collapsed and was out cold. Balagan, then ran over to him to check if he was okay.
“Sengal wake up,” he said.
He didn’t respond at all. So Balagan checked his pulse and he was still alive.
Balagan then picked him and instead of taking him home he took him to his house where his grandma was and put him in the guest room.
Balagan’s grandma’s name was Elias. She was in the kitchen baking cookies for dessert when Balagan walked in there.
After he put him in the guest room he went into the kitchen to talk to his grandma.
After Balgan talked to his grandma Sengal woke up the next day.
“What happened and how did I get here?” Sengal asked.
Balagan was sitting the chair next to the bed.
“You passed out in the forest yesterday,” Balagan answered.
“Yesterday, oh no,” said Sengal. Leon is going to be mad again.”
“Don’t worry about him,” said Balagan. When was the last time you ate? We didn’t even get to eat at the pub yesterday.”
“I don’t know, sometime last week,” Sengal answered.
“Sengal you know you need to eat,” said Balagan.
“How can I when I’m locked in my room all day and the servants are ordered to ignore me,” said Sengal.
“What!” Balagan exclaimed. You’re uncle locks you in your room!”
“The only way I can get out is if I climb out the tower window,” said Sengal.
“Your room is in the tower!” Balagan exclaimed. That King Leon sounds like a big ass hole! He shouldn’t order the servants to ignore you. Why didn’t you ever tell me this before?
“I didn’t want you to worry,” said Sengal. Back when my father was alive he was a very kind a generous man. He helped the people in this town a lot. My room wasn’t always in the tower. It used to be downstairs, but Leon took the room away from me and made it a guest room. However Leon wasn’t always like that.”
“What made him that way?” asked Balagan.
“My mother and his wife used to be friends,” said Sengal. My mother and he were very young when my mom became queen. After I was born my mother went to the forest with his wife to gather berries and stuff, when suddenly his wife was attacked by an Anigma Beast. She died and ever since then King Leon blamed my mother for her death and takes it out on both of us. Leon gives me and my mom no freedom. He won’t even let us stay up too late at night because he thinks it makes him look bad to the others living in the castle.”