Once a Week - Ended Sep. 19

[Stardust]

OK!  This week's theme is ghosts :boo:.  The pieces aren't due until September 12, but I started working on my story already, so I wanted to share, even though it's not too much at the moment.  I highly doubt this will be a short story.  I've got a good idea, and I'm running with it, but the idea is way too big to be considered a short story.  I'll post pieces of it as I work on it, though.  I doubt I'll finish by Friday. :dead:

Spoiler: Ancient's Ancient: Part 1

A worker looked warily at the dried river bed, trying to find a way to reach the small trickle that was currently the Nile.  He walked down slowly, rubbing each foot into the dirt before taking the step.  The bottom was muddy, and one of his feet slipped, causing him to slide on his back.  After fumbling a couple of times in the mud, he gained his footing and laid the canister down gently in the flow of the water.  When it was full, he slid it back to keep the mud from getting in, but it stopped abruptly on something underneath the mud.


“Should we move the workers from the bank yet, sir?â€

 

[Despain]

i wrote two poems this week. they're not exactly on-topic (idk maybe you can apply them to ghosts if you stretch your imagination like ghosts of a world pre-teloch) but it's something. with my thesis and multiple papers for classes i doubt that i have too much time to write much in terms of new prose but i am starting to like this stream of consciouesness poetry shit

they're here: http://rmxp.org/forums/index.php?topic=55212.0

 

[Stardust]

I'm surprised that there weren't many participants this time.  I was sick, so I didn't come online at all the past few days.  Anyway, I'm going to extend the deadline to next Friday to give people a little more time.  I'll be working on typing my story some more and post that in my first post.

 

[stillzero]

I'll make a very short story. I don't feel like writing too much but I feel like writing a story.

Spoiler

Once upon a time there was a ghost called MacGregor, but everyone called him Peter. One day his mother said "Peter, do we have eggs in the refrigerator? And MacGregor answered no but we have lettuce. And the mother said "Ok we are goin to eat lettuce" and MacGregor said "uh.......................................okey doke".
The lettuce was very good. It tasted like lollypop and MacGregor liked lollypop so he liked the lettuce because, i repeat, the lettuce tasted like lollypop. That's why his mother said "I think I'm going to have an heart attack", "Why?", MacGregor yelled, "Chair", her mother replied, before having a mysterious heart attack.
MacGregor called Colonel Campbell to see what was going on, even though it was probably FOXDIE or something. But the Colonel replied "Honestly, though, you have played the game for a long time. Turn your game console off right now!". MacGregor was very confused so he turned out the phone. "It looks like I have no mother now", he stated.
That's when a huuuuuge piano fell from above and crushed MacGregor. No it didn't. You know why? Because he was a ghost.

Pièce de résistance: After that, the laugh of a cockroach echoed inside the house.

 

[Despain]

stillzero please don't post shit like that in these kinds of topics.

 

[stillzero]

Why? Noone said the texts couldn't be comic. There are all kinds of stories, you know...

 

[Despain]

If you have to ask, then you don't deserve the answer. Stories can be comic, but that isn't a story. It's a joke submission, and not a good one.

That's the kind of crap I wrote when I was six.

 

[e]

I'll try to participate in the next one. I had nothing interesting for ghosts anyway.

 

[CeruSkye]

The Wraith

It was cold. It was always cold when the Wraith appeared.
Cory shivered beneath her blankets, pulling them as tightly around her body as she could manage without causing herself too much discomfort. She had tried to warn them about it, the grown-ups. She had seen it as soon as they moved into the old house. She had told them it wasn't happy about the renovations they were doing. It wanted walls to stay as they were. It didn't like Mommy's new paint. It didn't like Daddy's hammer. It was getting madder and madder.
They didn't see it though, they couldn't. Not like Cory could. She could always see them, the other things. Things that seemed invisible to most people. The grownups, and bigger kids called them ghosts and ghouls and specters. Cory just saw them for what she new they were, people, animals, deva's. They had never frightened her. Mommy said she was being silly.
"Ghosts aren't real Cory." She would state blandly.
Once Cory heard Mommy and Daddy talking in the downstairs of the house. After she tried to tell them how mad the Wraith was getting at them.
"When will she grow out of this Steve? I mean shes nearly 8 years old." Mommy said.
"She's just a kid. kids make stuff up when they want attention. Just ignore it. She'll find something else." Daddy replied.
So she stopped telling them the things the Wraith told her. Stopped warning them how mad it was. This made it even angrier. Now it wanted to hurt her for not saying anything. It pushed her down the stairs last night when she got up to go to the bathroom. She had bruises everywhere, and twisted her ankle.
"Oh my god! What happened sweety?!" Mommy exclaimed when she found her sobbing at the bottom.
The Wraith looked on in satisfaction. Cory pointed at it, towards the top of the stairs. She had almost told Mommy about what it had done, but when Mommy looked, she didn't see the Wraith.
"I fell." Cory replied, shoulders hunched in defeat.

         It's going to burn............

        Cory was shaken from her reverie. The Wraith's voice echoing through her mind. It felt as if her brain was freezing up, her eye's watered involuntarily.

         It's going to burn............

       "Go away!" Cory rasped, unable to yell, her throat clenched by fear. She flung back the blankets and ran into the hallway, where the small nightlight cast a faint yellow glow from the wall socket. It was no where in sight. But she could feel it watching her. Cory ran down the stairs, taking them two at a time. Her heart felt almost numb, it was beating so hard.

         It's going to burn............

       The chilling voice shuttered through her. Cory made a mad dash to the sitting room, she could feel it's presence following her. Why couldn't she see it? She hid herself behind the heavy linen curtains, and closed hers eyes shut as hard as she could. The air began to warm, was it going away?

       BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP!

      The fire alarm shrilled, crushing the silence of the night. Cory lept out from behind the curtains, as a searing heat made her recoil. They were ablaze. Smoke was quickly consuming the living room. The Wraith, finally visible, danced about in the flames. It's eyes on her, glowing in triumph, with a cruel and twisted grin on it's distorted face. Cory started to cough, but was tranfixed by the astonishing and surreal sight. Did it do this?


       "Cory!" She heard her mothers voice from behind her. She turned. Her mother's eyes widened with disbelief. Cory smiled. She could see it! Mommy could see the Wraith. Cory could hear Daddy's feet thumping down the stairs. He was yelling something.

       "Baby.........." her mother said shakely. "Baby, give me those matches............."

       


       Finished.

 

[Stardust]

Yeah, that's definitely acceptable.  I really like it so far.

 

[Stardust]

Like I said earlier, I really like your story.  It has the frustration factor and that is a very good way to keep the reader involved in the story.  The only thing that could have been better was if it was longer.  It seemed a little short, and there wasn't really an ending to it.

 

[CeruSkye]

It was meant to end off abruptly. I haven't kept up with writing over the years though, so I think the ending which was supposed to raise questions and leave the reader with the WTF just happened notion came up weak. Sorry. =/