Noir

[incandescent]

Noir
The Dark Land
The word 'Noir' is French for 'Black'

Spoiler: Story

Noir...Also called the black pendant... It is searched by people because some say it can grant power...Some say it grants wishes... And some only wants it for glory. The cause of various wars was caused by the search of this pendant. No matter how much people searched for it, it just seems like it doesn't want to be found. As if a phantom kept hiding it away...Countless cities have been razed to the ground in search of the pendant... people were slaughtered, and darkness was covering the land... Who knows what could happen next?

Spoiler: Characters

Main Characters:
http://img2.freeimagehosting.net/uploads/ac712ebba7.png[/img]
http://img2.freeimagehosting.net/uploads/d620b766d9.png[/img]
You can name them..and only choose one ;D
Other Characters:
http://img2.freeimagehosting.net/uploads/6068dbe201.png[/img]
He's going to be your dad. He will begin your story and you'll have to learn from him a tad of stuff.
http://img2.freeimagehosting.net/uploads/10b9bb84f9.png[/img]
Leanna is your mom. She can treat your wounds and help you strengthen yourself.
http://img2.freeimagehosting.net/uploads/13c1c53963.png[/img]
Leonard's Uncle. He doesn't do much except tell you some stuff if you're lost.
http://img2.freeimagehosting.net/uploads/ab1f8b5a11.png[/img]
He's sort of the person you'd call 'evil' at his entrance. Look into it when you play it,  ;D

Spoiler: Gameplay

User-friendly(well, my sister says so)
2 Different stories overlapping each other
Fast-paced and difficult battles around.
Loads of secrets waiting to be revealed.
Easy contrast and sweet animations ;D
Extra special cutscenes hidden, 2 in each main character

Spoiler: Scripts Used

-RTH ABS
-Actor Customization
-Simple edits to Default scripts

Spoiler: Screenies

http://img2.freeimagehosting.net/uploads/6f32b29193.jpg[/img]
The title screen
http://img2.freeimagehosting.net/uploads/92c5ee4b81.jpg[/img]
Featuring Leonard, talking to Cyrus!
http://img2.freeimagehosting.net/uploads/602a8c9fb1.jpg[/img]
Featuring Select character! Umm.. Okay I'll cut it out.
http://img2.freeimagehosting.net/uploads/6fc58acd35.jpg[/img]
Looks ridiculous if you don't read the rest of the dialogue..
http://img2.freeimagehosting.net/uploads/aaaeb6ca23.jpg[/img]
Oh no! He's losing!
http://img2.freeimagehosting.net/uploads/120119893d.jpg[/img]
The menu screen - Heavily Modified DMS(This took ages to finish.. I shoulda asked help from the scripters next time...)
http://img2.freeimagehosting.net/uploads/c011ddb250.jpg[/img]
Options menu - (made it myself again-Well, i basically edited all of the scenes..Framerate currently doesn't work)

Spoiler: Demo

http://www.filefactory.com/file/3fe769/
Filefactory File Hosting, I don't have a fast internet connection, if you would like to host it in another site, please do.

Fonts for Noir, install before playing

Spoiler: Team

Justoke has joined the team as a writer.
But I haven't seen him/her around...

Uses Gozaru's facesets
RTP tilesets
and Presence of Music BGM

Spoiler: Souveniers

Userbars by ChaosMaxima :
[url=http://www.freeimagehosting.net/]http://img2.freeimagehosting.net/uploads/4d3e00eace.png[/img]

Spoiler: Souveniers

http://img2.freeimagehosting.net/uploads/3ba02b7dab.png[/img]

 

[Ratty524]

Hmm... So no one knows why they are looking for a pendant? That doesn't make sense to me, everyone has a reason for their actions, whether it's a good one or not.

Check your code, it seems that the spoiler tags have been misused somewhere. The screens are pretty good, except for some misused tiles on the stairway and the... Fireplace?

Your images are taking really long to load, by the way.

 

[Grathea]

Regarding the ages of the parents and the main characters - your mom gave birth to you when she was either 13 or 14? Your dad's uncle is 44 years older than him? (slightly more believable, but still...)
Also, in your first screenshot, you've got an old man floating in midair. Might want to look into that.

 

[rjphillips]

This actually a very professional looking presentation for an early project (except for a few spoiler code errors). Good job. As mentioned above though your story could use some fleshing out. Let's say for example the people really don't know why they are searching for the pendant, why can't they know? Is there some magical force in the pendant that draws people to it while unbeknown to them? Flesh this out a bit and you'll be taking another good step in the right direction. Keep it up, I look forward to seeing this one come to fruition.

 

[MrHai]

Why did you call it Noir? I realize it has a connection to the fighting scorching the land, but why choose the french word? Wouldn't it make more sense to name it something that's connected to the main goal (which I assume to be the pendant)?

 

[tofurkey]

Immediately when I see the word noir, I think of film noir or Noir the anime, which is a similar concept. These are dark and heavy-toned themes which typically are stylized detective stories. If you've seen any old detective movies or something even like Sin City, you'll know what I'm talking about.

With that said, your story doesn't really seem to match this theme, which I was expecting. Of course, because that's not the only meaning noir has, it doesn't have to. Regardless, you should definitely put some more content into the story. I honestly know nothing about what will happen or what's supposed to happen. I'm guessing you're going to have to search for the pendant, but what are you going to encounter along the way? Why are you, a young kid, going to search for this pendant? What does the pendant do? You should definitely provide some more details about this as well as more about the characters. Why are your parents allowing you to search for this pendant? Why don't they look for it themselves?

As for the rest of your project, it looks to be coming along pretty nicely. The project looks nice in its presentation and you do a good job with mapping besides a couple of really minor errors. Just put a little more work into the story and this should be promising.

 

[incandescent]

I'm working on a dark storyline. It fits my best work.. There's not much action because most is going to be secret and dark.. well most things are going to be connected to the pendant somehow.. And I'll fix up that flying old man.. Thanks.
[Ok, shoot. The parents are too young...]
[Fixed up the storyline and code, I have to redo the Character images]

 

[Fuff24]

how about the "black pendant" or something to that effect?

 

[Crestfallen]

Perhaps give reason to why they "yearn" for this pendant?

Otherwise, you're going to look like you're ripping off Lord of the Rings.

 

[Cheeze]

...I want to grow up to be that old man....The mapping is great but yeah..the storyline is weird...

 

[Crystalgate]

The only way I can make sense of the pendant thing is if there's a spell put on it that causes it to broadcast a "yearn me, search for me" signal to everyone within a large radius. Non-supernatural explanations don't seem sufficient.

 

[incandescent]

Alright.. I'll put up an explanation(more story spoiling! hurray!)
[Finished editing the story-Improvised it instead of copying form the clipboard]

 

[Dagger]

I'm loving the story line and your title is very nice ^^.
You could be more formal with your writting for example

He's going to be your dad. He will begin your story and you'll have to learn from him a tad of stuff.

could be changed to a lot of usfull skills you will need on your journey?
Also your screen shots are nice, mapping could use some work. Also is that an old man floating in mid air in the 1st one?
I'll keep an eye out on this one ^^

 

[harbino]

Amazingly all the kids are rebels  :

 

[nick5674398]

cool, I'm loving the story now, since you edited it. the mappings great to. Unless you want it un-spoiled, you should put up where the main character fits into the story.

 

[incandescent]

That's okay, I'll update it when possible.
[Subtitle added for avoiding confusion]

 

[BlueChaos]

It seems so amateurish...yet, it's so appealing! How can this be?!
I would advise you to work on your story, writing style, and grammer. "Cities was burnt down"? It's improper grammer, and needs more impact. Try something more effective and dramatic such as "Countless cities have been razed to the ground in search of the pendent..." etc. etc. Good luck though.

 

[incandescent]

It seems so amateurish...yet, it's so appealing! How can this be?!
I would advise you to work on your story, writing style, and grammer. "Cities was burnt down"? It's improper grammer, and needs more impact. Try something more effective and dramatic such as "Countless cities have been razed to the ground in search of the pendent..." etc. etc. Good luck though.

I'll take it in, thanks..
If there are any other grammar mistakes, please PM me about it, and I'll look into it.
Maybe I'll consider hiring a writer?
BTW, Noir is on a much farther state from when I posted the screenshots.
I've been working on it a while.

 

[incandescent]

I hope this isn't taken in as a double post...
Updated the screenies and fixed the story.

 

[BlueChaos]

It seems so amateurish...yet, it's so appealing! How can this be?!
I would advise you to work on your story, writing style, and grammer. "Cities was burnt down"? It's improper grammer, and needs more impact. Try something more effective and dramatic such as "Countless cities have been razed to the ground in search of the pendent..." etc. etc. Good luck though.

I'll take it in, thanks..
If there are any other grammar mistakes, please PM me about it, and I'll look into it.
Maybe I'll consider hiring a writer?
BTW, Noir is on a much farther state from when I posted the screenshots.
I've been working on it a while.

Err... I wouldn't recommend paying a writer to spell check your work. Many people (such as me) do that for free. Also, I forgot to mention you've done a good job for a person working solo on a project.