Nevertold

[Arget Draumr]

                                          http://static1.grsites.com/user/generat ... 829795.jpg[/img]



"Darkness...wait were am I?  Oh no not this dream again.."  The year is 2293 in the Abelnoc calendar. The world is under the rule of the great king Toltanic.  Cecil has been suffering from his dreams for far too long.  He can not shove off the guilt of the indcident of 12 years ago.  The day he killed the king.  Finally he decides to set things right.  So he sets out on his own quest, to release all the senseless guilt being built up inside of him.  As his travels progress he meets Johan, an unexpected friend who just needs some company on his way to Drimabel.  He and Cecil have this unsuspecting feeling that each are hiding something from the other.  But of course they just met so this at first does not seem to strange. Little do either of them know, Johan is the source of all of Cecil's misery...


Ok so here is a rundown of Cecil and Johan

Characters
Cecil:  Troubled man whose dreams never cease to leave him.  He is haunted by them and finally wants to do something about it.  His feelings toward Johan vary but mostly they are of friendship.  The incident of 12 years ago of Cecil and the king is something that Cecil does not wish to tell Johan.  But some unknown manner of force makes him do so.  The moment he weaves the last of his tale to Johan, he regrets it for the rest of his life...

Johan:  Johan has a very unknown past.  He may seem like the typical unknown party member in all the old cliche Rpgs but the reason he has this "unknown past"  is because he doesn't want to know it and he doesn't even know it.  He wants to make a new life.  Set things for a new future.  He tells Cecil that he is around the age of 32 and he hails from far off lands.  He loves weaving tales of these lands every night to Cecil and it just makes Cecil wonder and dream better dreams.[/spoiler]

Ok so if anyone knew the other (crappy) game i put up here you know that i sucked at mapping and just about everything.  But with this i have righted that.  At the moment i don't have much done on this game but right now i really need some feedback and suggestion about a good opening cutscene from what i have so far.  So thanks for checking this out and please tell me if you think it is ok or if it really needs work.

Spoiler: Screenshots

http://i258.photobucket.com/albums/hh254/eukaryan/NV.png[/img], http://i258.photobucket.com/albums/hh25 ... an/NV2.png[/img], http://i258.photobucket.com/albums/hh25 ... rpgnew.png[/img], http://i258.photobucket.com/albums/hh25 ... an/NV4.png[/img]

And how could i forget to thank Mogknight for his wonderful scripts.  Pretty much anything changed is from him cept for my title screen.    He is a wonderful scripter and should get a medal.  Also for the menu script and CBS:  Credits Goes To:
Selwyn/Squall's Cursor Script
RPG Advocate's Changing Party Order
AcedentProne's Shadow Text & Save/Load Windows
Trickster help with limiting the party in battle.
SephirothSpawn Battle Count Mod
My (Vash) Death Switch Script
Also all sprites except for Johan and Cecil and the ones done by mogknight and are default obviously.

Spoiler: Game Demo

Game Demo:  http://www.megaupload.com/?d=5DR1GWNG

Spoiler: Updates

OK so here are the updates as of the dates shown:
10-1-08:  Added new game download.  Included in the demo is all maps redone.  3 new maps added.
10-5-08:  Added opening cutscene.  Map editing.  Added New part to town.
10-18-05:  Added 2 new maps.  A swamp and a cavern.  Changed music.  changed menu screens.  not as many mog scripts.  New graphics for characters.  changed names of all skills and most items and weapons.   (got rid of most of those mp3s but not all.
11-1-08:  From now on I think i shall update it only once every 2 weeks.  anyways I have added several new mapps. fixed that first town.  got rid of even more of those damned mp3s and added a boss.  hope you like the new additions need reviews!!

 

[Xephyr]

uhh..

none of the screenshots work...

=/

 

[Arget Draumr]

k now the screenies work

 

[Xephyr]

Okay, a few things:




1. The story has potential.  I'll give you credit for that.  I mean, it definitely isn't a great story, but it's not bad either.  Why is he setting out to fix whatever his problem is and all he's having is bad dreams?  Wut?


2. Your mapping is still pretty bad.  It's not, horrid, but it's not even close to good.


3. What the heck?  Are you using an ABS or what?  It seems like an ABS from the monsters on the screen but there's no HUD so I have no idea whatsoever.  I don't wanna download your demo and find your using the DBS or something stupid.


4. Your characters seem very shallow, and Johan is the typical cliche "mysterious party member".  Not much to comment on.



The End.

 

[Arget Draumr]

What about my mapping is bad?  I really need to know that.  And i think you are right about Johan.  I need to fix him.  also thank i will work on the story a bit more.  ONe thing.  What does ABS, DBS and HUD mean...

 

[dadevvtsvre]

How are we supposed to tell who's who in the menu? At least get face graphics if you aren't even going to attempt to change the default pictures by Moghunter. (it'd be nice if you credited him as well)

The mapping definitely needs work. For one thing, in the first shot, the leaves are arranged in a pattern that is too rectangular. And where are the other plants in the forest? Furthermore, why are there so many dead leaves?? There should only be a few bunches. You can barely see the grass!

The third one is worse. Look at the cliffs. What's wrong with them? They're perfectly straight. It looks bad, dude. And the trees are in a perfectly straight line. At least spread 'em out or something. And what's with the river? Another perfectly straight thing. This never happens in real life and, fiction or not, it looks bad in a game.

The indoor map is much better than the outdoor ones, but is still lacking. At least it doesn't have heaps of empty space, I'll give you props for that. But it could still be worked on a lot.

Here, check this tutorial out. Get some general mapping guidelines down. Open a new project, and map. Map, map, map. Map to your heart's content. Keep doing it until you think you have a good understanding of how to do it. Then, post some screenies in the Mapping Improvement Thread in RM discussion. They'll be more than glad to help you out. Once you've done all this, re-do all your maps. It could take weeks, but the end result will be worth it.

 

[dadevvtsvre]

Oh, and

ABS=Automatic Battle System, sort of like the 2D Zelda games or Secret of Mana

DBS=Default Battle System. This is the basic battle system that comes with RPG Maker XP, the crappy one with the pictures of monsters and the actors

HUD=Head's Up Display, this is sort of a picture that goes along with ABS's. They usually display things like HP, SP, etc.

Hope that helped clear things up a little.

 

[Xephyr]

ABS = Action Battle System.  Zelda-like, fights on the map.


DBS = Default Battle System.  Basically simple turn-base with nothing added on.


HUD = Just a little window somewhere on screen that displays the hero's or heros' health and mp and stuff.




Yeah the story's decent so far just needs touching up.


Mapping

Woods Map: Well basically here's what you did.  Paint bucket with grass, add some trees here and there, abuse dirt tile.  Map!  REALLY tone down on the dirt autotile, and add some water and plants here and there to make the map more exciting.  There's plenty of stuff to use in that tileset, trust me.



Mountain Map: Better than the woods.  There's some decent looking cliffs, but the cliffs are so straight.  Try to use the curve and make them like really jagged.  It seriously makes a map better.  There's also NO detail, besides a few trees.  Use plants and the darker grass tile.  Also, space the trees out more and don't put them in a straight line, it's unnatural.


Indoor Map: Never, Never, Never just fill a room with a carpet autotile.  Have you ever seen a carpet that big, let alone one with little branches that go off into other corners of a room?  Didn't think so.  Use the actual FLOOR tile and put the carpet very sparingly.  Other than that just add some detail I guess.  I don't know the purpose of the building so I can't like tell you to take away those steel block things if they're important.

 

[Arget Draumr]

THank you thank you thank you.  This is much better critiquing and advice than those other people gave me!  So now i can answer this.  The ABS is sort of like chrono trigger except you don't move into the battle you go into the bad one by rpgmxp.  (I get new CBS 2 so yay.)
O and the hut thingy is his house.  He made it himself!!

 

[Xephyr]

THank you thank you thank you.  This is much better critiquing and advice than those other people gave me!  So now i can answer this.  The ABS is sort of like chrono trigger except you don't move into the battle you go into the bad one by rpgmxp.  (I get new CBS 2 so yay.)
O and the hut thingy is his house.  He made it himself!!

Your welcome, I like helping people, whereas a majority of the other members here like to make fun.


Okay, so what I gather is that your using touch encounters, and these touch encounters go into the DBS.  Gotcha.  Nothing wrong with that, as long as you execute correctly.  (See: Master of the Wind).

Regardless of if it's Cecil's hut or not, the massive god carpet still has to go, XD.

 

[Arget Draumr]

Well originally i had it as regular tiled floor with some rugs but i thought it was bad so i changed it.  looks like i screwed up there.  I am currently looking at a tutorial and i see what you mean.  I have learned a lot so far!

I posted changes to the mountain in the rm discussion area under mapping improvement

 

[SoulReaperGod]

hi nice game pm me if you need help with your game

 

[WeAreSuperhero]

SoulReaper, do you go into EVERY project and say the exact same thing?

I think everything's been said about the topic, so instead I'm gonna try out your demo!
EDIT: Now I'm not being cruel, but it might be a good idea to take your demo down. Its four maps long, and in none of those four maps is there an incentive for me to continue looking at this project. I mean, sure, things like that are grand for practice, but you shouldnt show them to other people! It seems like, at best, a tech demo with no tech, and it certainly isnt worth the 30 megabyte download, which consists seemingly entirely of WMA's and MP3's.

 

[Arget Draumr]

Yes i know there is pretty much nothing in there.  THis is because i really need some ideas/thoughts for a good opening cutscene.  So far i have gotten no input at all for that...

 

[dcbd]

Yes i know there is pretty much nothing in there.  THis is because i really need some ideas/thoughts for a good opening cutscene.  So far i have gotten no input at all for that...

You could start by cecil having another dream and them he gets waken up by johan. or start by having the two of them fighting some monsters as they look for a place to rest.

hope that helps.

 

[Arget Draumr]

Finally!  Thank that does help greatly.

Updates: UP on top. new game demo and screenies
and yes the Johan dude has a blue thing around him.  I made him in cmkxp and i don't know how to get rid of that.

 

[SoulReaperGod]

sweet i hope there is moreplaces to go instead of just 4 areas

 

[Esper]

lol.. your Game has the same name as mine  XD
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TMAmqLYwqCc

But i can´t rename it anymore.. because the Book will come out in january for german book-market ^^

 

[WeAreSuperhero]

I tried out your updated 'demo', and I'd suggest, for starters.
a) Sorting out your grammer when Cecil (up till then I had assumed he was actually called Arshes) talks to Johann, which leads to my second point...
b) Rename the characters in the datebase! You changed their battlers, I assume you can change their names as well!
c) To get rid of Johann's blue halo, click on the 'materials' button in the toolbar, then go to characters and import Johan again. When it prompts you with a picture of him surrounded by his corona, click on it to turn it transparent, and then it'll be imported properly.
d) As someone previously suggested, please at least have a message box or two explaining what you're doing at the top of a mountain.
e) When you return to said mountain from the town, your teleport sets Cecil up halfway up the map, that'll need to be sorted out.

But, hey, good luck =]]

 

[Shingu]

I'm sorry, but is there a reason why you forgot to add a spoiler called "CREDITS" so you could put in the scripts?
You need to:
CREDIT: ALL SCRIPTERS
RPG REVOLUTION: Sprites
The person who the menu script came from, found here [urlhttp://www.atelier-rgss.com/RGSS/Menu/XP_Menu09.html[/url]
-.- Add the credits, or GTFO

<3 Shingu