My Manga plus a story description and characters!

[NAMKCOR]

if I may, kitsune doesn't mean 'fox-demon' it just means 'fox'.  That's a common misconception caused by Naruto. I believe (correct me if I'm wrong) that Kitsune-bito (fox-person) would be more accurate, given the circumstances ^_^

Also: the character Adam looks like Ichigo. Like...the pose, the hair, etc...just reminds me of ol' Kurosaki.'

Looks kinda interesting though, I'd like to see where things go before trying to criticize more.

 

[vincestick]

OK, I have things to change.......
I recently found out that the word for 'Half demon' is 'Hanyo'.....
Mark's last name will be changed from Adolf to Adalwolf, because since Adolf Hitler, the original term for Adolf has lost its meaning. I'm going to keep it to the original term Adalwolf, which means 'noble wolf'.
And to stop being bothered by this again, 'Qent' will now be 'Quent'
I now have to draw the lettering for 'Hanyo', upload it and edit it in the cover.

@NAM,
I don't watch Naruto, I read these books and for all of them they have written that "Kitsune are fox-demons of japanese folklore that play tricks on people. They are also believed to be servants of the rice god Inari." sometimes along the lines that.

Um...oh god, I haven't realized that Adam and Ichigo might be similar....that could be a problem...

 

[coyotecraft]

Since you're editing the cover can I suggest spicing it up a bit? Use gradients instead of textures and add a horizon line so the space he's walking in isn't so empty.

 

[cactus]

@NAM,
I don't watch Naruto, I read these books and for all of them they have written that "Kitsune are fox-demons of japanese folklore that play tricks on people. They are also believed to be servants of the rice god Inari." sometimes along the lines that.

Namkcor is still correct though, the word Kistune means Fox regardless of how they use it in the English translation. Just so you understand the meaning, I don't mean to stifle your creative writing process

 

[vincestick]

@Coyotecraft,
I could make a horizon line, then I should stretch out the shadow so it would match the perspective of the horizon.

@Cactus,
Well, as long as it's clear that Adam is half human and half fox.

 

[hima]

Kitsune means fox, but foxes are believed to have magical abilities in many japanese folklore. So I don't see what's wrong with using Kitsune to refer as fox-demon.  (Even fox demon in Naruto the name is kyubi no kitsune, which mean nine-tailed fox, still use just kitsune without having to add 'ma' as a prefix to show that it's a demon.)

I really think you should rename some of the characters. Hitomaru is more like a name than surname. And it's rarely a name nowaday, since nobody name their kids maru anymore, I think. It's really old.  If you really want to name them in Japanese, I suggest you find yourself a person who can be your cultural advisor.


As for the cover, the shadow is really weak. Make it a lot bigger, scarier would really help.

 

[NAMKCOR]

Kitsune-youkai would actually work better for 'fox demon' where Kitsune-bito would work better for 'fox person'

that's all I was saying.  English translations aren't always accurate, and in fact 'kyuubi no kitsune' really only means nine-tailed fox (if I'm not mistaken); kyuubi meaning 'nine tails' being described by 'kitsune' meaning 'fox'

I am by no means an expert, I was just hoping to give some helpful, polite, criticism...