Legend of the Sword Master

[Ilocar]

World:Tiesto(tee-EH-stow)>Arixia(in the west, Desert country, very racially tolerant, race in power:Nekojin), Fjordhlant(fee-ORTH-lahnt)(North, Tundra, Mainly Dwarves some Kobolds), Druethia(droo-EH-THEE-uh)(Center and South, Forest, Elves in the south, Kobolds in the North, very skeptical of foreigners), Maridia(East, Coastal, religeously bigotous and very racist, Humans)

History: the war of seperation 300 years ago led to seperate countries and racism in Maridia.

Setting/Plot: Main character, Alexander, loses his parents at the age of 11, he is raised by an elvish sword master who teaches him the way of the sword. in the begining Alexander meets an Elf girl named Ellisa and a Kobold named Albert after the Arixian Capitol, Toleran, Where they all live, is rampaged by a group of shadow mages called the Gathering Dark, whose leader kills Treon, the Elvish Sword Master who raised Alexander, they all go on a quest to avenge his fallen Mentor. along the way the characters learn the reasons of how and why Alexander's parents were killed, Why Ellisa and her mother moved from Maridia to Arixia as well as the mysterious past of Albert, who is also a Sword Master himself. in the end the characters uncover a conspiracy to overthrow the Tiesto world order by opening the "Gate of Ages" a mysterious and ancient doorway thought only to be legend can our heroes stop Tiesto from being torn asunder?

The game will be for the most part RTP, but I have need of Dwarf and Elf Sprites. I unfortunately have no money nor any method for attaining it, so I must ask that any spriting work be done for free.

[EDIT] oh yeah! and Screne shots are being made as I speak

[EDIT] Sorry having serious photobucket issues

[EDIT] Sorry I must look like a total noob

 

[Luminier]

The first and most prominent problem I have with this is the fact that you're using Arshes as your main character. I really, really don't see why so many people use him. Not his sprite, I don't care if you use his sprite(well actually i do but fr the sake of this post i dont), but is there any real reason why you're using his default name? It's just laziness. Couldn't be anything else! That aside using him as your main character is also a huuuuuuuuuuuuge turn-off for potential players(im assuming you DO want player right). It's not that hard to choose a different RTP sprite and another name. @_@

Also please remove those screenshots. This is not a board to advertise your game, this is board is for developing your concepts(as the name implies, yeah?), so unless you wish to illustrate special features, or have mock-ups, or whatever, screenshots are not allowed here. If you want to simply hype up your project, you can make a thread in the main Project Discussion board.

I'll also have to ask you to remove the little recruitment blurb in the middle of your post. If you want to get some help you can:
A.)Make a Project Discussion thread and give it a recruitment section.
B.)Put something like "PM if you wanna sprite for me lol" in your sig(though something much more intelligent would be prefered).
C.)Donate for a private subforum and make a recruitment thread in the Private Subforums main forum.
or
D.)And combination of the above.

A few Q's...

What is the "war of seperation"?
Why did Treon raise Aluxes?
Why do Ellisa and Albert go with Aluxes to avenge Treon?
What is the "Gate of Ages"?
Who is trying to overthrow Tiesto?
How can you overthrow a planet?
Did you mean 'take over'?

 

[So fist]

In the future take advice from a staff member.  Xilef gave you misinformation.  Project discussion is the only  place for posting promotional materials for unmade games.  Concept Development is meant to be ad free.

 

[Luminier]

I guess you don't really need to answer any of my questions if you wish to avoid spoilers.

It would be nice if you would include some character profiles, and maybe tell us a bit about what sets this project apart from everything else(if anything[and no i dont mean anything like "CCOA UMS MR MO ABS"])! Oh, and maybe clean up the formatting, because it's looking pretty messy right now. Take a gander at some other threads and see how theres separate and well-defined sections for plot, characters, screens, etc.. It'll go a long way towards getting your project a little more (positive) attention!

 

[Mazoku]

This looks really generic, and using the default characters, names, and stats, isn't helping it. Your mapping is horrific dude. Look at some tutorials. Grass and cacti do not grow in neat little rows like that, and caves aren't that symmetrical... Your second screenshot is a slight improvement, but could still use a lot of sprucing up.

Your stories not bad. It could use work, but it could potentially be pretty good. Just work on your mapping or hire a mapper, and put more into your battle system than just the default stuff that comes with it. As in set your own stats for everyone, make custom skills, etc. Seeing just the basic stuff that comes with the RTP used for the battle system is an automatic "I'm not going to play this" from most of the community.

 

[Mustardy85]

Used Default name... Used mostly all RTP... Used mapping editor to its minimum capacity... Used a similar story that has already been done... Used screenshots that don't really promote your project...

Anyway, after all the negatives... heres the positives. (I like to put negatives first lol)

Your title is very attracting... and ummm I think you will have no problem finishing this project If you keep making those 2 minute maps that only use like 2 of the 4 layers...

~Good luck

 

[Ilocar]

I don't wish to give spoilers but I will make some character profiles. I'm not an excellent mapper but I'm fair. and to be perfectly honest this game stated for me to test my skills at rmxp, I like the RTP graphics though and I can't chage the main character's name because I've already put "<Aluxes>" in a butt-load of events. I suppose I probably will fix it at some point, but naming characters is nearly impossible for me.

Um that cave was the main character's house and those plants were farm crops
I plan to make my own skills and such, but I have absolutely no scripting knowledge and no money to hire a scripter

I was worried it would seem generic, is there any way I could keep the RTP-Style without it being a turnoff?

Alexander Sandfyre:

Spoiler

Aluxes was born in Maridia the son of a wealthy textile merchant, Blake Sandfyre. At the age of 11 "Bandits" attacked a shipment of textiles that were heading toward Druethia Blake and Marie(Aluxes' mother) were both killed and the bandits escaped all notice or punishment. the young Aluxes was thrust into poverty, as a less than wholesome business accuaintance of Blake's, seized the family assets leaving Aluxes without a single piece of Silver to his name. Aluxes is shunned by the other Maridian nobles and attempts to leave the country, but in the wilderness he is attacked by monsters. Just when all hope seems lost for our young hero an olive-skinned sword wielding elf jumps in and slays the beast. He was Treon, who had been serving as the bodyguard of a Druethian ambassador. Treon nurses the feeble Aluxes back to health and takes pity on the boy. So Treon took him on as his apprentice and taught him the art of the sword. To Aluxes, Treon is like a father to replace Blake. He travelled all over the land of Tiesto with Treon as  he took many various Mercenary and body guard positions across the world. When the game opens the character is in front of a house in the Desert south of the Arixian Capitol(Toleran). while running errands for Treon Aluxes meets Ellisa, a young Elf girl who recently moved to the city with her mother, and Albert, A Kobold Sword Master who has lost the will to live after years of fighting. After a quick nap at home the character returns to the city to find it a battleground. A group of Shadow mages called "the Gathering Dark" are attacking the City. Treon Epically pwns their leader, Umbros, but he deals Treon a leathal blow as he teleports away. Aluxes fights off the Mages and then decides that he will follow Umbros and avenge Treon's death. Over the course of his journey Aluxes will learn to accept Treon's death and by the time he finally meets Umbros will no longer want to kill him. He will have uncovered quite tastier tidbits on the events surrounding his parents' deaths and everything will be tied back together in the Epic Final battle at the Gate of Ages.

The War of Seperation:

Spoiler

For thousands of years Tiesto had been one nation. but the gods grew restless, brothers slaughtered eachother, fire rained from the sky. The war was caused by the opening of the Gate of Ages 300 years prior to the story. All of Tiesto was in chaos, killing was the way of life. three different groups: The Stone Brethren, The Kin of the Sky, and The Sight of Purity rose as major political parties vying for dominance. The ensuing catastrophe resulted in the four nations of the Present: Stone Brethren>Fjordhlant, Kin of the Sky>Druethia, and Sight of Purity>Maridia. Arixia started as a frontier for those seeking a new start. The Sight of purity is still plays a major role in Maridian politics and controls the state-mandated religeon of Maridia. The war was supposedly ended by five warriors "of every blood" who founded the School swrdsmanship to which both Albert and Treon belong. The group was led by a disenfranchised knight of The Sight of Purity known as Robert the Insane together they sealed the Gate of Ages and Mediated the Negotiations for the new state lines. Maridian bigotry is directly descended from the ideals of the sight of purity, though there were many small wars that broke out afterward Tiesto was more or less peaceful up until the present

 

[Kodakami]

Hello all. Kodakami here; Ilocar's friend.

I'm here to make a few things clear for everyone who's wondering.

1. Ilocar recieved RMXP a week ago. He has been using RM2k3 for a long while, which has molded his mind to have a simpler idea of what a game should look and feel like. Together we are working on improving his game-design skill to a more XP-ish quality. For now, please forgive his naïveté regarding RTP cons and such. I am still working on bringing him into the 21st century of RPG Maker technology.

2. Ilocar does not have internet at his house. He works from a laptop, and takes it to hotspots every few weeks or so to check his mail and other internetty things. He has only a little experience with forums and how project-posts should look. Bear with the basic design of the introductory post; I'm sure it will look better once he realizes how bland it is compared to others. Also, please forgive his complete and utter disregard of forum policy on recruitment and screenshots and things. My only guess is that he couldn't find the section that told him where to place things.

3. Rest assured, LotSM will positively get better. I will personally make sure he changes the character names from RTP to something new. Spriting is another thing entirely... Ilocar claims to have no talent in spriting, which is why he is recruiting one.

4. You might notice that his mapping is very similar to what you would see in an RM2k3 project. That's because he is still getting used to RMXP's wider variety in mapping. By the end of this project, we will have a game with decent maps.

So that should clear things up now as to why this is such a simple project.

One more thing, please do go easy on Ilocar. He's just starting to learn what to do and not to do on RMXP, but he's a quick learner. Trust me.

~Kodakami
Prospective LotSM music composer
Personal real-life friend of Ilocar
.ORG lover

 

[Mustardy85]

What happened to all those promotive screens...?

 

[Sabao]

http://www.imageshack.us is a good image host, if you're looking for one.

 

[Retlaf]

Just to give you a head's up, Nekojin literally means cat people. You might be aware, you might not. I just hope this is a race of cat people.

 

[$t3v0]

I mean ..

GENERIC OR WAT

The name alone makes me cringe, let alone the opening sentence of your story.

 

[Ilocar]

Yes, I am perfectly aware that Nekojin in Japanese means cat people, it is a common anime term for the humanoid race of the same animal likeness. And, Yes I assure you they will be cat people.

I know about imageshack and after repeatedly trying to set up a photobucket accout I eventually gave up and quickly set up an Imageshack. thank you.

I removed the screen shots for two reasons:
1. They did a horrible job of promoting my game.

2. They are no longer valid or accurate with the changes I have made.

I promise good screen shots in the future.

And to everyone I am sorry to say that Kodakami speaks truth.