I'll offer some quick C&C on your revised one.
There is a lot of negative space. Not that that is necessarily a bad thing for intro screens, and I appreciate the fact that the text has been "bumped" over the clouds to avoid crowding, but there is definitely something missing.
Firstly, I'm not a fan of non-animated intro screens which are predominantly pictures. To me it looks like you're taking away glamour from the title of the game, which should get top billing. An optional logo with text on a black or white screen would suffice nicely and draw nothing away from the importance of your game's title. Yes, I know it's been done before. But there's a reason why it keeps getting done, it's because it works. :yes:
Secondly, how are you "studio
s"? This is a big faux pas in my book because, unless you own more than one studio, you are, in fact, a singular studio. That's a pet peeve of mine more than C&C ':|, sorry. You can say you're more than one of something if you use, say, "Productions". It also gets on my nerves to see "Incorporated" in amateur creators because there's no way their "business" was acknowledged by the state as being incorporated ;').
--Bah, sorry for the tangent.
Otherwise, I think it would be much improved by integrating the background image with your title, or having it "fade" into the opening scene, or having it animate somehow.
Also, "Studio" should take second billing to the studio's name. That's kind of a general rule in corporate-style logos, unless you show a tagline or motto. I've designed a number of them so I have experience with it
.
Here is a very quick example of what I mean:
CLOUDY DREAM[/FONT]
S T U D I O
See? "Cloudy Dream" is most important because it's bigger and bolder. "Studio" is less important, being smaller, because that's just the descriptor of what you are instead of the name. The name should always get the special font, while the subheader "Studio" should get a plainer font. You seem to be going with sans-serif fonts, so I'd stick with Arial, Helvetica, Verdana, etc. for the sub-header, and that cloudy font is fine for the header (although it could be bigger).
I rather like the "Brought to you by" text, but that's not necessary if it's leading the entire game--the player kinda assumes that the first company name to appear is the one bringing it to you. If it's not appearing first, the professional thing to do would be to lead the gamemaker's logo with an introductory "Produced By", pause, fade, fade in, and THEN logo. "Brought to you By" is primarily used by advertisers or hosting companies, such as television channels or distribution companies.
WELL that wasn't a quick C&C, but I hope that helps a little in your corporate design ideas
.
