I was wrong

[Sir]

I needed a way to throw out how i felt not to long ago, this is my little poem of sorts, it's not much and it might not be great but it holds a special place in my heart


To the depths my love will carry
no one thing could tear us apart

But i was wrong

It was not you or i that left us alone
but fate herself with hands of cruelty

But fate will not stop me
i will love you until the end of days

Through thick and thin, through fire and ice
My heart is set a blaze for you

hoping that it will lead you through
the cruel darkness fate has set upon us

It will never go out
No matter how far apart we are

but i was wrong

You put out that light
with an icy touch

"I have found someone else"

I would never love again
It hurt to much to much to feel

I'd be there alone every night
having only myself for comfort

But i was wrong

She stood there with a gleam in her eye
as if everything would be alright

I was sad at first, but now it's gone

with you by my side
i feel nothing but love

that once distant flame
has ignited again

 

[Velocir_X]

I dunno, I like it...
Sounds like it could make a song...

Reminds me a bunch of:

Kayleigh I'm still trying to write that love song...
Kayleigh it's more important to me now you're gone...
Maybe it will prove that we were right
Or ever prove that... ...I was wrong!

Spoiler

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SmLdkKF4wa8&feature=related

 

[Sir]

I'm glad you like it, and make a song? Cool lol

 

[Stardust]

It was good, but this bothered me:

To the depths my love will carry
no one thing could tear us apart

will carry [something]

It needs to carry something. Otherwise it's a fragment.

Also,

It hurt to much to much to feel

the first "to" needs to be "too". That's just me nitpicking. :P


Overall I liked it because it felt very genuine. Regardless of how the words form or how it flows, stuff from the heart is always better than something fabricated, in my opinion.

 

[Sir]

Thanks for your "nitpicks"guardian, very helpful. And i'm glad you like it.