Fatal Dreams

[ozumadrew]

Maker: RMXP
Team: PixelSoft

Through our dreams comes new life and beginnings...

I'm not really good at this story and plot thing but here goes
Originally called Fatal Memories, Fatal Dreams takes place in the unique world of Aikall. Aikall is split up into four continents, each having it's own Dream Fragment. Long ago, The Dream Fragments were said to be the sources of all natural life on the world of Aikall. Without these shards working together, rivers will dry up, Nature will die, and the sky will blacken. Holding these beliefs to be true, the shards have been locked up for centuries in ancient temples being guarded by the elders of each continent.

You will play as Natelo (or whatever you name him). He is a village boy from the continent of Adella. At first glance he may appear to be a normal boy, but in actuality he is anything but normal. Natelo is part of a legendary clan of shaman called the Kimu. Long ago the Kimu were a wide spread clan that resided in each of the four continents, said to be the original protectors of the Dream Shards. Due to occasional abuse of their elemental powers they were soon outlawed and looked down upon by normal residents of the continents, thus forced into hiding to preserve the peace in the world of Aikall 17 years ago. Natelo has no knowledge if his ancestry but he will soon realize it as he is no ordinary village boy. Lately Natelo has been having dreams of a man telling him about another man and his plans to seize control of the Dream Shards, therefore controlling the world. Natelo currently has no idea what to make of these dreams but he will soon find out.

Constructive criticism is appreciated, as this will help me improve my writing

 

[sushi]

Your logo is great, but your lacking details. Looks like you have a good start but where is this story going?

 

[RadethDart]

Rule #1 - Do not use Fatal in the title. Haha, someone told me that when I made Fatal Destiny. Anyways, looks like a nice logo, but you need more work! ;D

 

[Juan J. Sánchez]

My first game was called Forsaken Destiny. I made the title screen with iDraw, which was not a bad tool. After that I came up with Silent Blue: Shadow's Eye. This was a much more developed project.

What I learn from these games? Do not use Destiny in a title, and do not add an unnecessary subtitle if it's your first game.

 

[candle]

I see nothing wrong with using the word "Fatal" in the title, though it does kinda make me think teen angst. I would, however, say that unless your game is going to be released in Japanese, is set in Japan, or is based around Japanese mythology, drop the Japanese text from the logo. If its not Japanese, but is instead Chinese or Korean or some other oriental language, my statement still holds. Just replace where I said Japan with whatever country the text originates.

 

[Allen2014]

This is a game plan? Looks like a good title, then? I only saw some empty set, and that your world only? I believe there are many powerful Indoorsman in Japan, such as the Oriental projectZUN this class, their stories are not say or scam to propaganda, I hope you learn from you, I want to make a friend with you.