Lazer Kirby
Member
The demo is back up for anyone interested.
Eternity's Point - Now the World Ends With a Huge War
- Thread starter Lazer Kirby
- Start date
Lazer Kirby
Member
What? No comments?
EDIT: I whoops, I realized this was a bump.
Wait, is that allowed? Let me check...
EDIT: I whoops, I realized this was a bump.
Wait, is that allowed? Let me check...
Hi, yes. 
Story Analysis: Well, from the basic story, its a cliche nightmare. Your story isnt original at all. I could probably make a logical thesis on what your overall plot is going to be. You have the four elements element to your story which brings down your story significantly. Did the swords clan magically gain power from some mystic wizard or something. While this might be explained in the game, the whole point of a project thread is to give concise information about what your overall story premise is. You cannot skip throughout the plot in a fast-forward motion. It has to be linear. Back to the story though. Your story honestly did not take the required amount of thought. Again, its cliche beyond belief. Cliche is good if executed with the greatest perfection and skill, which you lack. Overall, there is no originality in your story and its quite dull, boring, and disappointing. I honestly dont need to play your game and I can guess what will probably happen. Please, think your own thoughts and dont give us the same thing every other project thread gives. You dont stand out from the crowd.
Graphical Analysis: First screenshot I see is your title screen. Its incrediably boring. How long did that take you, two minutes? You honestly need to take in fact that the title screen represents your game. Good title screens open up to a good game. Crappy title screens turn away people who are interested in your game. Your mapping is awful. I suggest you read some mapping tutorials. I'll go indepth
Forest: You use the fog wrong, thats the first thing I see. Then, I seem to notice that you are using the conopy auto tile. You never use the canopy auto tile for tops of trees, it look tacky and lazy. You also use the dirt around grass autotile wrong. You use that auto tile in the dirt, so that you can create patches of grass. You also have some symetrical mapping issues. All you logs point down. Also, you clump abjects together. Spread them out. Also, why is there a birdnest on the ground?
Town: This map is boring. Theres not much in it. Add some stuff like weeds, tall grass, ect. It will improve the map. You have some random logs on the right side of the map that really dont fit. On the left side, you have some tall grass piece. Your path is boring. Yoou have some random line to the right of the house. Not only does the shape of your path need work, it is to bold. Add some grass dirt around the edges and give it some variation so it isnt so bold. Your houses are a tad boring as well. There wasnt that much work put into them. You also seem to clump trees and objects together. Spread out.
Interior: Its too big. Shrink it down. Your wall corners are wrong as well. Use a continuous wall, not the wall posts for the corners. That shadow doesnt make sense either. there is not much going on. Its a tad boring. Your carpet is messed up too.
Overall: I see you have 12 characters, which is a horrible idea. Shrink it down to a fewer number so you can expand on each character and their goals and issues. Having 12 characters brings every other character down. Your mapping needs work, and your story is dull and cliche. I do like how you have a easy and normal difficulty. What about hard though, did it just dissappear. You need to credit whos CMS you use, not just say other people. Overall, you game looks boring and uninteresting and needs a major overall. You have nothing that makes your game stand out. Sadly, this will go into the archives of sadness. Toodaloo.
Story Analysis: Well, from the basic story, its a cliche nightmare. Your story isnt original at all. I could probably make a logical thesis on what your overall plot is going to be. You have the four elements element to your story which brings down your story significantly. Did the swords clan magically gain power from some mystic wizard or something. While this might be explained in the game, the whole point of a project thread is to give concise information about what your overall story premise is. You cannot skip throughout the plot in a fast-forward motion. It has to be linear. Back to the story though. Your story honestly did not take the required amount of thought. Again, its cliche beyond belief. Cliche is good if executed with the greatest perfection and skill, which you lack. Overall, there is no originality in your story and its quite dull, boring, and disappointing. I honestly dont need to play your game and I can guess what will probably happen. Please, think your own thoughts and dont give us the same thing every other project thread gives. You dont stand out from the crowd.
Graphical Analysis: First screenshot I see is your title screen. Its incrediably boring. How long did that take you, two minutes? You honestly need to take in fact that the title screen represents your game. Good title screens open up to a good game. Crappy title screens turn away people who are interested in your game. Your mapping is awful. I suggest you read some mapping tutorials. I'll go indepth
Forest: You use the fog wrong, thats the first thing I see. Then, I seem to notice that you are using the conopy auto tile. You never use the canopy auto tile for tops of trees, it look tacky and lazy. You also use the dirt around grass autotile wrong. You use that auto tile in the dirt, so that you can create patches of grass. You also have some symetrical mapping issues. All you logs point down. Also, you clump abjects together. Spread them out. Also, why is there a birdnest on the ground?
Town: This map is boring. Theres not much in it. Add some stuff like weeds, tall grass, ect. It will improve the map. You have some random logs on the right side of the map that really dont fit. On the left side, you have some tall grass piece. Your path is boring. Yoou have some random line to the right of the house. Not only does the shape of your path need work, it is to bold. Add some grass dirt around the edges and give it some variation so it isnt so bold. Your houses are a tad boring as well. There wasnt that much work put into them. You also seem to clump trees and objects together. Spread out.
Interior: Its too big. Shrink it down. Your wall corners are wrong as well. Use a continuous wall, not the wall posts for the corners. That shadow doesnt make sense either. there is not much going on. Its a tad boring. Your carpet is messed up too.
Overall: I see you have 12 characters, which is a horrible idea. Shrink it down to a fewer number so you can expand on each character and their goals and issues. Having 12 characters brings every other character down. Your mapping needs work, and your story is dull and cliche. I do like how you have a easy and normal difficulty. What about hard though, did it just dissappear. You need to credit whos CMS you use, not just say other people. Overall, you game looks boring and uninteresting and needs a major overall. You have nothing that makes your game stand out. Sadly, this will go into the archives of sadness. Toodaloo.
Lazer Kirby
Member
Well, I guess this just might be the end of this project UNLESS... I do have time to improve it somehow. After all it's my first XP project and I just moved from rm2k, so RMXP seems a little stranger to me. I just had to find the rm2k/3 resource converter AFTER I start this. Looks like I belong in RM2k/3 land. If you thought my current story was a nightmare, you should've seen my other one :haha: . It was just a quest like "LOL MY DAD GOT KIDNAPPED NOW TIME TO RESCUES HIM". I think my attempt to improve it failed. And if you think 12 characters is a lot there was a good game I played that had 16 characters. From the looks of your comments on my mapping, it seems like I can't work with RMXP RTP... I guess I should have stuck to my old title screen. I still struggle in plot... yeah you made good points there... I was planning to improve my town, too. I always thought I rushed through things, anyway, and that's one of my bad habits... Thanks for the review. Then again, I did learn a lot and this is not my first failure... I know to learn from my mistakes but sometimes I just don't fix them x.x
Lazer Kirby
Member
I know that. It justs seems I can't make a good project x.x