Eclipse-The Beginning

[Anasoze]

I am in progress of creating this game, I have nothing to show for and I apologize for that. It will be a while before I have anything worthy to post. But I will keep you guys up to date.

I am taking Mr. Wind Up Bird's advice and I am combining story elements to fit into three games as opposed to the nine I originally conceived.

 

[Anasoze]

Here is what I have done so far:

Storyline-----10%
Characters---20%
Enemies-----20%
Maps--------5%
Cool stuff----5%


STORYLINE (so far)

Spoiler

***PROLOGUE***

On a normal morning in the year of 2186 outposts in space detect a massive spatial anomaly in deep space. It is thought to be a black hole until an 80 mile asteroid emerges from the hole. As soon as it passes through; the "Blackhole" disappears without a trace. The object then just sits there, slowly rotating on its axis. About a month later scientists examining it realize it is made from a mineral that has strange unknown properties, also they find out that there is a strange EM signal coming from it. But as soon as they attempt to drill for the mineral, something happens. The cold hard asteroid changes into a massive blue-green fireball and starts to move through space at high speed. Scientists were able to map its trajectory. It was headed straight for Earth, and will be there in about 21 days.

Many attempts to deter or destroy it have all failed. An order to evacuate as many people off Earth was issued, but it was a near impossible task to move 12 Billion people. All was lost on August 8th 2186, when the astroid collided into Earth, shattering it into trillions of pieces. All the 1.5 Billion evacuees could do is watch in horror as Earth was destroied.

But as soon as Earth and the moon were destroyed, the remnants started to coalesce as opposed to spreading apart. After a few years they realized a new planet was forming.

After 1200 years of watching from afar massive continent floating on a core of green energy were deemed habitable for human life. A giant migration begun the colonization of the 17 major continents. Oddly despite the lack of a source there were an abundance of life and water for them to take advantage of.

***********************************

The story truly starts when the you wake up from a long 3700 year hibernation in a strange living-crystalline chamber.

You has no idea who you are or where you are.

You slowly find your way out of the cavern and emerges outside at night. In the distance you see the lights of a settlement, which you head towards to. A while later you are in front of a small walled village.

A guard sees you and asks what your business is this late at night, the guard allows you into town and escorts you to a place where you can sleep. As you enter the tavern a friendly middle aged man greets you. He asks you if you want a room, you give him a strange material with numbers and letters on it. He takes it and asks you why you have on of those. You tell him you don't know why and end up telling him the story from the moment you woke-up. He takes pity on you and allows you to stay for free in return for not telling anyone your story. He then begins telling you what he knows about the cave where you came from and its significance....

 

[dadevvtsvre]

You were supposed to PM J.D. Slasha to reopen the old thread.  :dead:

Anyways...(man I use that word a lot)

The thread is terribly disorganized. Your "info" is scattered everywhere. It's really hard to read. Take the time to organize the thread into sections (ex. "Story", "Characters") so we can read it easier.

On to the actual game. The story is very cliche. The "father is dead" plot is waaay too reused, as are the "main character that lives on a farm" and "wants to explore the world" plots. Why did the father vow death upon his family? Give us at least a paragraph instead of a few broken sentences, at least!

Also, what about the characters? Who are they? What are their goals? Motivation? Personality? Traits?

And although the mapping isn't horrible, per sey, it could be much better. My advice-post some maps in the Mapping Improvement thread in RM Discussion.

I'm guessing that this is your first game. You say it requires a lot of time and effort-Great. Seriously, you have no idea how many people underestimate it. You seem like you're determined, which is really good. I hope you finish this game. If I sound like I'm trying to be mean or hate your game, I'm not, I'm just trying to give some good critique to help make your game even better.

(FYI, you should upload images to Imageshack or Photobucket instead of Deviantart)

I might say more later on.

 

[SoulReaperGod]

Anasoze get the names of the characters and info on them and pictures of them

 

[Anasoze]

I was in a hurry to post this. I'm also sorry for the scattering, this is my first thread that I have ever made.

I know I need to improve on the story itself, I kind-of want it to be original; not cliche or anything like that.
I have conceived this part of the story within a week, maybe I should stick with the original instead of a poorly done tangent.

Thanks for your comments, I will defiantly heed them.
:thumb:

 

[seven]

Arshes.




That's all I need to say, right there.

 

[SoulReaperGod]

Anasoze if you need help with your game i'll be glad to help because i can map fo you and make some cool places so if you need any help with mapping or anything i can see what i can do

 

[Anasoze]

Thanks for the offer. Its going to be really hard to modify the tile sets to match somewhat to RPG Maker PSX's. Personally I'm not that good at using computers to draw, but I know I can do it!!!

Any help would be greatly appreciated, especially in the tile set area. I want to have a way to create decent dungeon walls w/o having a irritating low wall or no wall at all. I want it to make it feel more realistic.
I'll have to make a tile set from scratch to match what I need.
:thumb:

 

[ebhz.Ash.4rm]

Your story may be cliche' but as you seem to be making a series then I suggest you review what you have planned and see if it all can't be fit into one story. It would be more entertaining for me to move from big story point to big story point rather than to have to play pointless in the middle bits that are there to extend the story (like every dungeon in FFXII).

Also you should definitely take a look around the rest of the forums, I say look at some of the completed games so you can see how other projects are presented and also depending on if this is conceptual work in the concept dev. forum. That will let you see how games being developed are presented too.

 

[JD_Slasha]

A few things:

One, I said PM ME FOR A REOPEN.

Two, you've double posted useless information. there's an EDIT button for a reason.

Three, post the actual screenshots on an image hosting site and not to your DA account. I've removed the links as it's equivalent to advertising (which if you read the rules is against the rules, which I know you haven't taken the time to do let alone listen to my instructions)

Here's what I'm going to do. I'm going to delete your old thread, issue you a warn for posting poorly and making dupe threads, and give you 24 hours to fix your images. If you haven't done that by then, this will be locked and I'm going to warn you for every new topic you make of this game (unless you PM me a better thread) 3 warns and you're banned.