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[CREATE!] Wizards in Winter

Author's Note: So, first off, author's note. The character in this is a transplant from something else of mine, which was inspired by a potential GURPS campaign with a friend from college. That being said, he is no longer in the world, era, or even universe for which he was conceived, so some character traits may be contrary to the surroundings. If you wish, think of this as a rather inspired dream on his part. Actually, I like that idea. Let's roll with it.




"-choo!" Eran sneezed. "This weather is getting far too cold to be sleeping outside..." he muttered to himself, as he trudged along the side of the road. "I guess I should find a place where I can sleep for the night." He put his hand out, catching a few of the falling flakes of snow, before moving to brush more off of his cloak.

In the distance, he saw a small town by the side of the road, just close enough to reach by nightfall. The town wasn't the biggest in the world, but any shelter was better than none, and they would have lights to ward off the darkest hours of night.

*****

The people of this town were...odd, to say the least. Eran had secured a room for the night in a local lodge, but even that set his hairs standing. There was something unusual about this town, and Eran found himself glad that his room had a lock on the door, and heavy shutters on the windows. The sun was just setting, and a full, golden moon was rising as well. Eran decided to go to sleep, and leave the town at first light.

*****

It was nearing midnight, and Eran's door had just unlocked from the outside. The owner of the lodge made her way into the room, and headed toward the bed, stopping when she realized it was empty. She looked around the room, and Eran started when he realized that she was no longer human. She still retained her humanoid form, but now her mouth and nose were elongated, her ears had moved up toward the top of her head, extended and become pointed, and her face had grown a covering of downy fur.

Slowly, Eran mad his way behind her, masking his presence from her perceptions using his abilities, until he was within touching distance. Then, quickly, he places his hands on her back, then moved to catch her as she fell. He placed her on top of his bed, and left the room as it filled with her growl-like snoring.

Eran looked around once outside the room, extending his senses into the area around him. "What have I gotten into...?" he wondered to himself, as he made his way out of the inn and into the street. All around him, he heard the movements of the other townsfolk, some snarling, others simply making their way into the surrounding forest, presumably to find something suitable for dinner. Occasionally, one of them would look to the moon and howl, a deep, bone-chilling sound filled with the ache of regret and a deep sense of longing.

"I have to get out of here." he thought. Suddenly, one of them was headed straight for him, and was almost upon him before he noticed. Eran darted to the side, and watched as the werewolf landed, then stopped as it looked around wildly. It was no longer able to see anything, but Eran knew that they relied more on scent than sound. Quickly, he masked his scent from its senses, so that all it smelled was the sugary sweet odor of caramelizing sugar being prepared for a treat.

Eran made his way away from it, knowing that the effects were only temporary, and that it would easily be able to track him as soon as it regained its senses. As he made his way hurriedly out of the town, he almost ran head-on into another of the werewolves, and barely avoided having his throat torn open. He left the werewolf struggling on the ground, totally disassociated from any new sensations from its body. From its perspective, it was frozen in place, totally unable to move.

Soon, he was out of town, making his way into the forest. Soon after, he had found the ideal tree, and had quickly scaled its heights. "No sleep tonight, I suppose." he thought to himself. He settled in, watching the base of the tree and the surrounding forest, waiting for the inevitable werewolves to come his way. Each time one did, he left them on the ground, completely unable to handle the unusual input their senses were giving them. One was left with no sensation of gravity, feeling as though it would drift up from the ground if it relinquished its grip on the bush it was clinging to. Another was cringing in pain, forced to endure massive outbursts of sound, light, smell, and feeling. Others ran from the area in pure terror, emotions stirred by hallucinations brought on by this traveling wizard. Eran had a long night ahead of him.

*****

It was finally dawn, and the few werewolves still under the tree had fallen into exhausted sleep, and were quickly transforming back into their human forms. Eran made his way down from the tree, and quickly wended his way back to the road, to ease his travels away from this accursed town and continue on his way to no destination in particular.
 
Interesting stuff. The transitions are a little sudden (you leave out a lot of details) and the character's abilities strange but I can accept that. Some feedback:

- when muttering to oneself, one generally doesn't treat it like a conversation. I would say something more like "brr, weather's getting cold. better find someplace to sleep tonight." Of course this depends on personality but complete sentences are oft too much of a bother.
- you seem to leave out a lot of details, and I'm not just talking about the *** transitions. How exactly do Eran's abilities work? What exactly is his "ideal tree"? How did he "barely avoid having his throat torn open"? Some small details on said encounters will give the reader a better idea of the world and characters in them.

I'll leave some room for others to crit, but hope these general pointers helped.

Participation: +1
 
regi":u9o3oyfs said:
Interesting stuff. The transitions are a little sudden (you leave out a lot of details) and the character's abilities strange but I can accept that. Some feedback:

- when muttering to oneself, one generally doesn't treat it like a conversation. I would say something more like "brr, weather's getting cold. better find someplace to sleep tonight." Of course this depends on personality but complete sentences are oft too much of a bother.
- you seem to leave out a lot of details, and I'm not just talking about the *** transitions. How exactly do Eran's abilities work? What exactly is his "ideal tree"? How did he "barely avoid having his throat torn open"? Some small details on said encounters will give the reader a better idea of the world and characters in them.

I'll leave some room for others to crit, but hope these general pointers helped.

You've got a good point about the details, and for the abilities thing, he's two things. First off. he's a relatively powerful psion (somewhat D&D style, meaning mind magic) who specializes in altering peoples' perceptions of the environment and themselves, through willful manipulation of their senses. Second, he's an empath, giving him the ability to sense others through their emotions, and to project emotions into others, which has the side effect of allowing him to do things like put people to sleep without actually knocking them out. The abilities themselves aren't really explained in nay of my pieces about him, since the original audience was mostly the creator of the GURPS campaign he was created for, who also created the world, universe, multiverse, and "omniverse" it was based in. Which is no excuse, since I put the writing here instead of just sending it to her.
 

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