StrawberryBomb
Member
Well, after the failure of Princess Nights, I decided to really sit down and try to make a better story.
My apologies, if this isn't good, then I probably don't know anything about making a good story.
Year 451 (Torriel time, not Earth time). On Paradise Island, 50 miles from the southern border of Plundonna, lived a girl and her parents, Jonas and Beryl. The daughter's name...was CARA. She had a power, the power of Yajnos, although it was unknown to many, including 13-year-old Cara. However, a group had heard of this child, and that group...was the Black Skull Cult. They had sent two Dark Matter Soldiers to Paradise Island.
That fateful day, Jonas and Beryl had been enjoying their day at home with their pride and joy, Cara, not realizing that there were two Dark Matter Soldiers looking for the girl. The next thing the parents knew, they were confronted by a pair of Dark Matter Soldiers, Cyson and Boral. Beryl and Jonas tried to defend their daughter, but unfortunately, the power of Dark Matter won out, and Jonas was heavily injured in the scuffle, and went into a deep sleep, leaving Beryl, a young mother and loving wife, with nobody.
Four years later, in the land of Plundonna...
"AHHHHHH!" The renowned battler, Michael, is training in the forest, the Sparkling Forest. He regularly trains in the forest, to sharpen his battle skills. However, this day, it seems quite different in the forest that he regularly trains in. It's...so quiet. He decides to take a look. There are two people, dressed in black, sitting on a log, watching a girl working. Her head, he thinks. What is that on her head? "Keep working, don't stop now," snapped one of the black-clad people. This...this isn't right, thinks the battler. The girl, she snaps up suddenly, and appears to be in pain, grabbing her head. "AHHHHHHHHHH!" yells the battler, attacking both of the black-clad people. "Stop him! Get the girl!" yell the black-clad people, but they are forced to retreat from the powerful battler. The girl, she is still under control, however. He cannot remove her helmet! He has no choice, but to attempt to destroy the helmet. "AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" he yells, slicing the helmet in two, and freeing the girl from her torturous lifestyle. "Where...where am I?" asks the girl. There is plenty of time to ask questions, says the battler, as the quest for answers, it begins.
That fateful day, Jonas and Beryl had been enjoying their day at home with their pride and joy, Cara, not realizing that there were two Dark Matter Soldiers looking for the girl. The next thing the parents knew, they were confronted by a pair of Dark Matter Soldiers, Cyson and Boral. Beryl and Jonas tried to defend their daughter, but unfortunately, the power of Dark Matter won out, and Jonas was heavily injured in the scuffle, and went into a deep sleep, leaving Beryl, a young mother and loving wife, with nobody.
Four years later, in the land of Plundonna...
"AHHHHHH!" The renowned battler, Michael, is training in the forest, the Sparkling Forest. He regularly trains in the forest, to sharpen his battle skills. However, this day, it seems quite different in the forest that he regularly trains in. It's...so quiet. He decides to take a look. There are two people, dressed in black, sitting on a log, watching a girl working. Her head, he thinks. What is that on her head? "Keep working, don't stop now," snapped one of the black-clad people. This...this isn't right, thinks the battler. The girl, she snaps up suddenly, and appears to be in pain, grabbing her head. "AHHHHHHHHHH!" yells the battler, attacking both of the black-clad people. "Stop him! Get the girl!" yell the black-clad people, but they are forced to retreat from the powerful battler. The girl, she is still under control, however. He cannot remove her helmet! He has no choice, but to attempt to destroy the helmet. "AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" he yells, slicing the helmet in two, and freeing the girl from her torturous lifestyle. "Where...where am I?" asks the girl. There is plenty of time to ask questions, says the battler, as the quest for answers, it begins.
CARA: Age 17, Mage from Paradise Island
Cara is a young girl who was born with the power of Yajnos. It was this power, stronger than that of other people with Yajnos, that caused Cara to be kidnapped at age 13, and enslaved by the Black Skull Cult. They controlled her young mind for four years, and Cara had no idea what she was doing, as she was pretty much a vegetable who did what she was commanded. One day, Cara was doing her duties and being closely watched by BSC members Kalvora and Lerad. Kalvora and Lerad were attacked by a young battler, and the battler knocked the mind-control device off of Cara. Cara is now trying to piece together her past, and has little knowledge of her last four years, although the results of that period are about to come back to haunt her.
MICHAEL: Age 27, Battler from Massaro
Michael is the battler who saved Cara from the BSC. He is quite modest about it, saying he just happened to be there, although Cara thinks otherwise. Cara apparently has feelings for the battler, as she seems to never leave his side. She hopes to assist Michael as they head into the lair of the BSC, although he thinks she should be careful not to get captured again. Michael has limited Yajnos abilities, and is the son of Massaro's mayor, Miss Lollie.
SYDYN: Age 16, Elemental from the Temple of Sydyn
Sydyn is the water elemental of Torriel. Barefoot and smiling, it is kind of tough to realize that she has been through a lot, losing her parents at age 5. However, she is still upbeat and optimistic, as she says the future is bright for her. She loves to bathe in the waterfalls at her home, the temple of the water elemental. She seems to be lost in thought much of the time, but is still able to concentrate on the task at hand. What thoughts are going through Sydyn's mind all the time?
B.K.: Age unknown, Warrior from Nalle
B.K. is a mysterious warrior. Little is known about him, except the fact that he comes from the town of Nalle. He seems to have some kind of issue with Sydyn, as he seems a little bothered when she talks to him. However, he does not hate her, he just has problems with her. What will happen between Sydyn and B.K.?
KELSEA: Age 15, Battler from Borna Borna
Kelsea was a student of Yajnos, but bad behavior forced her to leave school, and she trained independently in the art of battle, as she obviously had issues with Yajnos at this time. She is still young, and it will take some time before she finishes her training, although the presence of an experienced battler helps.
KURT: Age 38, Thief from ???
Kurt is a wandering thief who has no real home, as he just travels from town to town and sleeps in inns. Most of the stuff he carries are goods stolen from the inns he frequents, although the items are insignificant enough to not have been discovered mssing. However, people are starting to wonder about Kurt. How long can Kurt keep this up?
Cara is a young girl who was born with the power of Yajnos. It was this power, stronger than that of other people with Yajnos, that caused Cara to be kidnapped at age 13, and enslaved by the Black Skull Cult. They controlled her young mind for four years, and Cara had no idea what she was doing, as she was pretty much a vegetable who did what she was commanded. One day, Cara was doing her duties and being closely watched by BSC members Kalvora and Lerad. Kalvora and Lerad were attacked by a young battler, and the battler knocked the mind-control device off of Cara. Cara is now trying to piece together her past, and has little knowledge of her last four years, although the results of that period are about to come back to haunt her.
MICHAEL: Age 27, Battler from Massaro
Michael is the battler who saved Cara from the BSC. He is quite modest about it, saying he just happened to be there, although Cara thinks otherwise. Cara apparently has feelings for the battler, as she seems to never leave his side. She hopes to assist Michael as they head into the lair of the BSC, although he thinks she should be careful not to get captured again. Michael has limited Yajnos abilities, and is the son of Massaro's mayor, Miss Lollie.
SYDYN: Age 16, Elemental from the Temple of Sydyn
Sydyn is the water elemental of Torriel. Barefoot and smiling, it is kind of tough to realize that she has been through a lot, losing her parents at age 5. However, she is still upbeat and optimistic, as she says the future is bright for her. She loves to bathe in the waterfalls at her home, the temple of the water elemental. She seems to be lost in thought much of the time, but is still able to concentrate on the task at hand. What thoughts are going through Sydyn's mind all the time?
B.K.: Age unknown, Warrior from Nalle
B.K. is a mysterious warrior. Little is known about him, except the fact that he comes from the town of Nalle. He seems to have some kind of issue with Sydyn, as he seems a little bothered when she talks to him. However, he does not hate her, he just has problems with her. What will happen between Sydyn and B.K.?
KELSEA: Age 15, Battler from Borna Borna
Kelsea was a student of Yajnos, but bad behavior forced her to leave school, and she trained independently in the art of battle, as she obviously had issues with Yajnos at this time. She is still young, and it will take some time before she finishes her training, although the presence of an experienced battler helps.
KURT: Age 38, Thief from ???
Kurt is a wandering thief who has no real home, as he just travels from town to town and sleeps in inns. Most of the stuff he carries are goods stolen from the inns he frequents, although the items are insignificant enough to not have been discovered mssing. However, people are starting to wonder about Kurt. How long can Kurt keep this up?
KALVORA and LERAD: These two are members of the Black Skull Cult, and seem to have some kind of an interest in the young water elemental, Sydyn. They also seem to travel a lot, as Sydyn is continually harassed by the devious pair. When they show up at Sydyn's temple, Sydyn is saved by the young battler, Michael, and Cara is unintentionally thrown into the ongoing BSC-Sydyn conflict.
MISS LOLLIE: Miss Lollie is the mayor of the town of Massaro, and the mother of Michael. As her husband disappeared long ago, Michael is all she has left, and as a result, she is very hesitant to let him go with Cara. However, as she knows that she has no control over her son's destiny, she lets him leave, but is very sad about it.
BELLINA: A young lass from Massaro, Bellina is very friendly, but also very shy. She acts strangely around Cara, but it is unknown why. She is a distant relative of the thief, Kurt.
CASSEDY and CHASE: These two and their relatives own a chain of berry shops all over Plundonna, including in Massaro, Nalle, Borna Borna, and Pruntes. They can be very helpful during this quest, if you know what you're doing.
SAFFRON: She and her relatives own a chain of inns all across Plundonna. The Saffrons are known for their singing talents, including singing their patrons to sleep. Most people like this treatment, although there is one person in particular who is kind of bothered by it.
MISS LOLLIE: Miss Lollie is the mayor of the town of Massaro, and the mother of Michael. As her husband disappeared long ago, Michael is all she has left, and as a result, she is very hesitant to let him go with Cara. However, as she knows that she has no control over her son's destiny, she lets him leave, but is very sad about it.
BELLINA: A young lass from Massaro, Bellina is very friendly, but also very shy. She acts strangely around Cara, but it is unknown why. She is a distant relative of the thief, Kurt.
CASSEDY and CHASE: These two and their relatives own a chain of berry shops all over Plundonna, including in Massaro, Nalle, Borna Borna, and Pruntes. They can be very helpful during this quest, if you know what you're doing.
SAFFRON: She and her relatives own a chain of inns all across Plundonna. The Saffrons are known for their singing talents, including singing their patrons to sleep. Most people like this treatment, although there is one person in particular who is kind of bothered by it.
**A Berry system, you can find Berry Seeds, and take them to any Berry Shop to get special Berries!
**RTAB battle system
**FFX-2 CMS
**ccoa's UMS
**There are more, but I don't want to spoil anything.
**RTAB battle system
**FFX-2 CMS
**ccoa's UMS
**There are more, but I don't want to spoil anything.
My apologies, if this isn't good, then I probably don't know anything about making a good story.