Avilon Fable

[Zeos]

The more the merrier!
Edit: Who thinks we are ready to put this on the project discussion?

 

[Lexy]

well i guess its good cause

Zeos- Bare Bones
Graxiplon- Beefs it up
Totti- Revises/Edits

 

[Zeos]

Should we request this to go to main project discussion?

 

[Lexy]

why of course its good enough aint it

 

[Zeos]

Okay, I'm gonna ask it to be moved!

 

[Lexy]

ok part 2 should be finished sometime soon

 

[Rye]

You have no screenshots (aside from your titlescreen), so I don't think you really have anything to show the project discussion forum.

 

[Lexy]

so your saying we should make our maps then post a few of the screens of the maps and maybe a menu screenshot then we can go to normal project discusion

 

[Zeos]

Yes, Totti is working on the maps right now!

 

[Lexy]

alright Zeos i PM'd you Part 2 did you recieve it

 

[Zeos]

I got the PM!

 

[Lexy]

it may have traversed a bit away from your skeleton so Totti can edit it if he wants anyways do you have a third skeleton you would like me to work on

 

[Zeos]

I sent the skeleton to Totti, and I am working on that 3rd skeleton

 

[Lexy]

the second skeleton why is he going to write an alternative

 

[Zeos]

He revises them, remember?

 

[Lexy]

but shouldnt he revise just part 2 and not the skeleton :-/

 

[Totti]

I'm taking a break, from wrapping presents, and I've just read part 2.
Graxiplon, you seem to use a lot of passive voice in your writing, which makes the story seem more vague than it needs to be.
Also, I discourage the use of contractions, they make it look like you took no time in putting the literature together.
When we do release a more detailed version of the background story to the public, i suggest we don't use all the direct quotes, and actually make a story out of it.
Also, no cursing, let's keep foul language out of this game.

 

[Lexy]

aww man and i dont get what you mean by passive voice and contractions can you clarify

 

[Totti]

he's is a contraction for he is

passive voice would be using a being verb (such as is) in past tense situations.

like ~Chance tries to get out, but is blocked by an enemy~

 

[Totti]

Here's the map.

http://www.megaupload.com/?d=U8OHFM7S