Wow. Uh, the nonconformist message in this poem is really treacle-thick and really quite hackneyed. The anti-ritalin thing is newer ground to tromp around on, but you fail to refine it, and instead lapse back into the loss-of-individuality scheme which (and I believe this to be one of the most hilariously tragic things I've seen in my life) has been used by so many people that it's hardly poetry material; A good poem will introduce the reader to something new or interesting, whether it's a mental image, a point of view, or just a catchy rhythm. "society is a bunch of fuckin clones;; cant they see im special not like those robots" is neither new or interesting by this point.
The rhythm, it so happens, is another element of this poem that escapes me entirely. I've tried reading it out loud, but the words don't flow. The number of syllables in each line is very inconsistent, as is the strain on each syllable. I've seen poems work
fantastically which didn't follow these kinds of conventions, but they work by virtue of emphasis, wordplay, tone, and that sort of thing. This doesn't really carry anything like that. The rhymes themselves sound forced and clumsy more often than not, and your vocabulary seems fairly limited; as the rhyming word, you use "line" five times, "design" three times, "refined" thrice, etc. You even rhyme the same two words adjacently in two places -- this would be fine if your intention was to repeat that earlier line, but I can see that's not the case. Your rhyming scheme itself remains consistent for about two lines in the middle of the poem, but otherwise it's all over the place.
One other thing bothered me about this, but it's a minor context thing and so it shouldn't be your first priority. Regardless, to have a good poetry review you need to have things in quotes, so I'm gonna point this out. This ties in with my "forced and clumsy rhyming" thing...
I come to the end, but I’m still defective
I didn’t go to the end of the assembly line
... because I'm thinking that you put one of those lines in just for the sake of having another -ive or -ine in a stanza, without consideration for the textual aspect. The same could be said for a lot of your lines, really.
Bottom line: don't rhyme for the sake of rhyming (my favourite sort of poetry has no rhymes at all and works by virtue of rhythm, stress, emphasis, tone, and all that other good stuff,) and if you're going to post something in Writing, please put more thought into it than "hey, society's making me feel pretty down. I think I'll write a poem about how I don't fit in but that makes me better than them."
