AmeriKKKan Gangster: Hood Property
- Thread starter Tachiba
- Start date
Necro_100000
Member
Been a while since I checked in and MAN i got to tell ya you seem to have been VERY productive! I like it!
I defenently like the logo man.
I defenently like the logo man.
Ok, I see a loooooot of problems here. So I'm just gonna get straight to it.
1. your story is completely confusing. I'll quote sections to hopefully make it easier.
Alright first of all how does he find this "Type-F Cruzar"? Does he trip, fall, and then look up to see this giant robo-suit?
Also, I bolded that part because I want you to keep it in mind.
Alright see this is the part that just confuses the shit out of me. First of all, how does he become king of bankhead? Was there something that he did or was he the "chosen one" or whatever?
who the hell is Eli, Ashley, AND Roy?
What is the Shugone Syndicate? What do they do? Are the the good guys or the bad guys or neutral?
Also, look at that bold. Now, how do you go from him using a robo-suit to try and take revenge to them making drug deals with aliens together??
It looks like you have a nice start but it just needs more work and the holes filled.
Also, Vrion his really ugly to pronounce. I'm sure you can come up with a cooler, more easier to pronounce v word.
1. your story is completely confusing. I'll quote sections to hopefully make it easier.
Alright first of all how does he find this "Type-F Cruzar"? Does he trip, fall, and then look up to see this giant robo-suit?
Also, I bolded that part because I want you to keep it in mind.
Alright see this is the part that just confuses the shit out of me. First of all, how does he become king of bankhead? Was there something that he did or was he the "chosen one" or whatever?
who the hell is Eli, Ashley, AND Roy?
What is the Shugone Syndicate? What do they do? Are the the good guys or the bad guys or neutral?
Also, look at that bold. Now, how do you go from him using a robo-suit to try and take revenge to them making drug deals with aliens together??
It looks like you have a nice start but it just needs more work and the holes filled.
Also, Vrion his really ugly to pronounce. I'm sure you can come up with a cooler, more easier to pronounce v word.
sweet critique! lemme give you answers(wasnt here for a week):Rabbit Jack":1eryfqwn said:
When Shugo sets up Leon, he sets his house on fire. Leon,trapped inside, tries to escape but then gets trapped inside a ring of fire. Just when he thinks there's no hope, a falling part of his roof smases a hole in the floor. For an odd reason, theres light flickering at the bottom, which causes Leon to take the chance of jumping in. his jump is short, as theres a cushion that breaks his fall, and he continues his goal on foot. There he meets the type-f. funny, originally,what u said was my idea at first.
(btw, plz spoil this part 2 critique as it was a spoiler.)
Leon becomes King mainly because of his defeating of Def Ridge, which set up shop nerly everywhere. He decides to take Def Rige back in his hands, and its easier to do this, due to him being the founding father. With this, he gains many , if not all, of Shugo's power.
who the hell is Eli, Ashley, AND Roy?
They are Leon's allies,who helped him ALOT in the 1st part. they're in the character section.
The Shugone Syndicate was a group being formed in part one. Their name comes from Shugo and Gone. They are neutral-evil towards Leon in part 1. They too wanted to take down Def Ridge (in Shugo's reign), but because they wanted the drug and Sigma trade for themselves. Shugone has approached man ridge members, causing them to defect. Now that Leon controls Def Ridge, they're after him.
Also, look at that bold. Now, how do you go from him using a robo-suit to try and take revenge to them making drug deals with aliens together??
at the end of part 1, the true culprit to the events leading to the set-up is revealed.
Leon,reluctant at first, joins Shugo to kill the culprit. Later on, Leon and Shugo repair, for real thiis time. But, as They repair, Shugo gets shot in the back. Leon, who thinks his friend died, kills the shooter, and sends Shug to a hospital. He then gets the title of Father of Def Ridge from Shug, who finally resigns, causing Leon to become King.
also when did i ever put a word clled Vrion here.
who the hell is Eli, Ashley, AND Roy?
They are Leon's allies,who helped him ALOT in the 1st part. they're in the character section.
The Shugone Syndicate was a group being formed in part one. Their name comes from Shugo and Gone. They are neutral-evil towards Leon in part 1. They too wanted to take down Def Ridge (in Shugo's reign), but because they wanted the drug and Sigma trade for themselves. Shugone has approached man ridge members, causing them to defect. Now that Leon controls Def Ridge, they're after him.
Also, look at that bold. Now, how do you go from him using a robo-suit to try and take revenge to them making drug deals with aliens together??
at the end of part 1, the true culprit to the events leading to the set-up is revealed.
Leon,reluctant at first, joins Shugo to kill the culprit. Later on, Leon and Shugo repair, for real thiis time. But, as They repair, Shugo gets shot in the back. Leon, who thinks his friend died, kills the shooter, and sends Shug to a hospital. He then gets the title of Father of Def Ridge from Shug, who finally resigns, causing Leon to become King.
also when did i ever put a word clled Vrion here.
not sure what the whole part 2 part 1 thing is about but alright that makes since. you should try to make it more obvious without revealing too much because the way you have it currently set up, it looks like a bunch of names thrown at you and then the part explaining what happened between Shugo and Leon is really confusing.
(also i find it interesting how you put the crips and bloods in this (and + points for knowing how the bloods were actually created))
(also i find it interesting how you put the crips and bloods in this (and + points for knowing how the bloods were actually created))
Update
Changed the cities of the world to fictional, GTA-styled cities. Atlanta will now be known as Atlacta. The reason being is because it's too hard making nearly ALL of Atlanta to look similar. So some place will refer to Atlanta.
But I will still keep the Crips and Bloods in this, along with other gangs.
Changed the cities of the world to fictional, GTA-styled cities. Atlanta will now be known as Atlacta. The reason being is because it's too hard making nearly ALL of Atlanta to look similar. So some place will refer to Atlanta.
But I will still keep the Crips and Bloods in this, along with other gangs.
Man, your first post is really hard to follow.
You seem to have a lot of information to tell us, but it is way too much for text! Seperate all this text with pretty banners for each section and reduce the ammount of history and text in the character descriptions so it's easier for people to read.
We don't need to know the antagonists just yet. If there are more than 1 villains in a game, then don't bother reveiling them. I think we just need to know the protagonists at the mo.
If you are going to tidy it up, don't use anymore spoilers you have loads there already. 1st glance presentation is important!!
This looks very story-line driven, what unique factor will drive me to download this game's demo? And I hope the characters won't just develop on this thread but in the actually game aswell. How much of the game will dive into your deep character backstories?
(As a Userbar artist, your userbar for this is too plain to live up to your project)
And your screenshots are meh level. I know myself that some people click on a project, see a cool logo then go straight to screenshots, get a great map made some visuals then post that aswell. Show off your unique custom graphics (If any).
Have fun!
You seem to have a lot of information to tell us, but it is way too much for text! Seperate all this text with pretty banners for each section and reduce the ammount of history and text in the character descriptions so it's easier for people to read.
We don't need to know the antagonists just yet. If there are more than 1 villains in a game, then don't bother reveiling them. I think we just need to know the protagonists at the mo.
If you are going to tidy it up, don't use anymore spoilers you have loads there already. 1st glance presentation is important!!
This looks very story-line driven, what unique factor will drive me to download this game's demo? And I hope the characters won't just develop on this thread but in the actually game aswell. How much of the game will dive into your deep character backstories?
(As a Userbar artist, your userbar for this is too plain to live up to your project)
And your screenshots are meh level. I know myself that some people click on a project, see a cool logo then go straight to screenshots, get a great map made some visuals then post that aswell. Show off your unique custom graphics (If any).
Have fun!
Well, lemme try to answer your questions in order(wasn't here awhile):Xilef":2k95w3n2 said:
-
-Well, I found a banner maker, but what am I supposed to put on there? I'm thinking of using Graffitti-style words as banners, but aside from that, I have no unique concept art(not sprite wise).Xilef":2k95w3n2 said:
-I thought that people would like it if I put up an above-average amount of history and character descriptions. Alright, I'll take off some of it.
-Wha? Dont bother revealing the antagonists? I'm pretty sure I'd get people asking me,
'Hey, where's the Antagonists? I wanna know who's evil!" here, and when I put only one major antag. up, they were asking me, "what about Part 2?" Maybe I could try to take some antags. off.
-No more spoilers. Okay, I'll remember that.Xilef":2k95w3n2 said:
-unique factor...well, it does sound very linear, but its kind of a semi 2-D GTA. While you can pick fights with people, its only certain people who you can fight, like people in the hood are more prone to pick fights with you then in suburbs(this is actually a true stereotype!). While you can steal cars, you cannot steal cars already in motion. If ryou want to try your luck, there are various casinos around the world. You can also take part in hustling, or hustle someone yourself. There's a funny side-quest which involves managing Young Dice, a small-time rapper you meet(This was something I've always wanted to do). When in your Sigma form, however, you will have random battles with the police, and with enemy gangs. Basically, the best way to get by's on foot, although Sigmas are faster.
-The character's background is hinted and has meaning in the story, but the way they mature wont be like in typical JRPGs where they're like-"lulz I should be thankful what i havez!". They'll just overcome the obstacle, and maybe, be a little different. Basically, about 32% seems ideal, since I dont want the game to be a sob-fest.
-Yeah, I know. I'm working on a new userbar though, so come back and see it.
-The screens are outdated. I'm planning on putting newer ones in. I have alot I want to show before the demo.
Well, I think that covers the critique. Now.
Update: As you read this, I'm making a Star Appearance list. It'll show real-life hip-hop icons set to appear and confirmed to appear.
Well, I will say that you seem to be a good writer and the story seems to be a bit interesting. I guess what I am curious to find out about is whether or not the game play will add up to it all. What I mean is, I don't mind a game about gang wars and gangsters, they are fun from time to time. But... if you play one GTA, you've played them all. And I'm kind of sick playing games like saint's row, GTA, which tends to promote the exact game with slightly differentiating storylines and in the end, you end up buying the same damn thing as you did last year when you bought the prequel. I guess what I am saying... make sure you go with something original here. Gang wars, obviously, that is something that realisticly happens a lot... but I've always wanted to see a game that resides on the more realisitic end of this genre. I think if you bring some depth to your story and your characters, and find ways to get the player immersed into the game, you might be able to pull it off. While I'm not sure if I'd count on that... I do tip my hat off to you and wish you the best of luck. I'll keep my eyes open on this game. 
Sounds interesting. Even though I'm not a big fan of hip hop besides comedy rap (dirt nasty, andre legacy, mickey avalon ect) this sounds like a pretty fun concept.
It's just hard for me to picture how the game will be like, I'm eager to see it in action.
The second picture you posted doesnt show up. And the 3rd one is too small to see properly, could you repost a few more screenshots?
It's just hard for me to picture how the game will be like, I'm eager to see it in action.
The second picture you posted doesnt show up. And the 3rd one is too small to see properly, could you repost a few more screenshots?