Alright to "Paddle"?
- Thread starter Tachiba
- Start date
sixtyandaquarter
Member
Oh I was a complete terror as a kid. I had to be. My sister was a complete bitch, and she and her teenager friends abused the hell out of me. My sister's best friend technically raped me as a kid, and everyone took her word, though I never told my sister. I acted out in horrible ways and caused massive problems for my schools, family, and friends.
Normal punishments did crap. If I was sent to my room I amused myself. I didn't have a phone in my room, and for years I didn't have a TV. So when I was very young they'd have to take my toys away, and when I was older my books. I had to "think about what I did wrong", which never happened. I'd amuse myself even if it meant ripping carpet hairs and using spit to hold them into place as I fashioned them into a little rock band and pretended they played all my favorite songs.
Or writing stories using my finger on the dusty closet shelves. It didn't matter.
Beatings didn't do crap either at later ages. I mean I'd stop, I was "good". I was "good" until the yelling stopped, and the "apology" afterwards, if there was one. And if not I was good until someone else got in trouble or until it seemed like everything was fine - usually that was quick as I lived with alcoholics who were quick to each other's throats and "blacked out", an easy excuse (and yeah, a fictional one) so they could ignore what had happened the night or nights before.
Mine was a house where you screamed and even fought, or struck, for a night... and never mentioned it again.
So I'm honest when I say I have no actual feel of authority. Outside a few smacks with a barb or a wooden spoon, or a quick hit down for a few moments, there was no ever true feel of authority. Get hit, and that was the end of it - you were free. It doesn't work, or at least the method didn't work for me. Maybe it was all the time as a kid finding ways to amuse myself.
Either way it stopped from on my father's end when I was really pissed off. I told him to back off, I told him if he took another step I was - and he interrupted and went on about how I would never hit him, etc. So I agreed, but said I'd choke him out instead - which ended up almost happening. My father never raised a hand again, and he never really cared again. Any trouble I got into after that, which would surely be a lot, I would have to deal with as far as he's concerned.
There's a line here. See some people categorize a smack or 8 or a dozen as abuse. Others say it's okay, but don't strike. But few are really mentioning how ineffective a smack can be when it's not followed up. Harmless swaps, even those that leave bruises, are very ineffective against a kid whose normally rebellious - let alone one that would've grown rebellious from it. Sometimes a sturdy whack upside your head isn't enough.
When you turn to "violence", and it seems to be a trend, you leave the compassion out the window, or you totally over kill it with apology somehow reducing the blame and potency of it - both in fact have this effect.
Normal punishments did crap. If I was sent to my room I amused myself. I didn't have a phone in my room, and for years I didn't have a TV. So when I was very young they'd have to take my toys away, and when I was older my books. I had to "think about what I did wrong", which never happened. I'd amuse myself even if it meant ripping carpet hairs and using spit to hold them into place as I fashioned them into a little rock band and pretended they played all my favorite songs.
Or writing stories using my finger on the dusty closet shelves. It didn't matter.
Beatings didn't do crap either at later ages. I mean I'd stop, I was "good". I was "good" until the yelling stopped, and the "apology" afterwards, if there was one. And if not I was good until someone else got in trouble or until it seemed like everything was fine - usually that was quick as I lived with alcoholics who were quick to each other's throats and "blacked out", an easy excuse (and yeah, a fictional one) so they could ignore what had happened the night or nights before.
Mine was a house where you screamed and even fought, or struck, for a night... and never mentioned it again.
So I'm honest when I say I have no actual feel of authority. Outside a few smacks with a barb or a wooden spoon, or a quick hit down for a few moments, there was no ever true feel of authority. Get hit, and that was the end of it - you were free. It doesn't work, or at least the method didn't work for me. Maybe it was all the time as a kid finding ways to amuse myself.
Either way it stopped from on my father's end when I was really pissed off. I told him to back off, I told him if he took another step I was - and he interrupted and went on about how I would never hit him, etc. So I agreed, but said I'd choke him out instead - which ended up almost happening. My father never raised a hand again, and he never really cared again. Any trouble I got into after that, which would surely be a lot, I would have to deal with as far as he's concerned.
There's a line here. See some people categorize a smack or 8 or a dozen as abuse. Others say it's okay, but don't strike. But few are really mentioning how ineffective a smack can be when it's not followed up. Harmless swaps, even those that leave bruises, are very ineffective against a kid whose normally rebellious - let alone one that would've grown rebellious from it. Sometimes a sturdy whack upside your head isn't enough.
When you turn to "violence", and it seems to be a trend, you leave the compassion out the window, or you totally over kill it with apology somehow reducing the blame and potency of it - both in fact have this effect.
sixtyandaquarter
Member
very fun
Dissonance
Member
green user name":1se9rw05 said:
Wait how old were you
Because if you were like ten or older and didn't go brag to your pals I JUST FUCKED A BITCH you are a complete and total pussy.
I got the entire gamut of punishments as a kid. I wasn't even a bad kid. Not at all. Worst thing I did as a kid was accidentally lose a dangly diamond earring my grandma left me in her will, that my mom wanted to sell. I got into a few fights or whatever, but it was only in self defense. I was straight as an arrow. I always did my homework, I was nice to my cousins, I played very quietly, cleaned my plate, never asked for much of anything.
I never started acting out until I was a teen, and even then, it was only things that were destructive to myself, no one else.
But my whole life I was abused, neglected. If I even made the SLIGHTEST mis-step or mistake (always menial stuff ... accidentally stacking dishes in the dishwasher a way different from how my mom told me, or eating the last lemon cream donut, or putting a sign out for bday party guests to "place presents here" [thinking that it would be cute ... but no, it was too "presumptuous", despite my being an 11-year-old on her bday], etc. etc.), it was verbal abuse, it was dictionaries flying across the room, it hiding in the back of the closet to avoid a strangling.
Perhaps I was so mild-mannered and good BECAUSE I was abused. Perhaps I acted out as a teen because of it, too. Perhaps I'm the EXTREMELY antisocial wallflower, who apologizes for ANYTHING and EVERYTHING at the drop of a hat, because of all of that mess. Probably.
See, a quick little punishment ... In a normal kid, a quick punishment, like a harsh tone, or a little swat, would tell them immediately, "hey, don't do that." But abuse changes the way a kid acts for their entire lives. It changes their psyche, not just their actions. And never for the better.
In some kids, like sixty, they lose scope of punishment altogether. They lose respect for authority, since they in turn receive no respect. They become rubber. EVERYTHING bounces off of them.
In some kids, like me, they lose all ego and self-will. They're to blame for everything. They absorb the damage, like a sponge. Or more aptly, they're glue. Everything sticks to them, and they carry it around their whole lives.
Paddling is fine. Done correctly, it delivers more fear than pain. Children innately WANT to be accepted, to be loved. You can punish them, but you don't take away the love, the respect.
I don't understand why some people have a hard time differentiating between punishment and abuse.
If you leave a mark, if you see terror in their eyes, you should know that you've crossed a line no loving parent should EVER cross.
I never started acting out until I was a teen, and even then, it was only things that were destructive to myself, no one else.
But my whole life I was abused, neglected. If I even made the SLIGHTEST mis-step or mistake (always menial stuff ... accidentally stacking dishes in the dishwasher a way different from how my mom told me, or eating the last lemon cream donut, or putting a sign out for bday party guests to "place presents here" [thinking that it would be cute ... but no, it was too "presumptuous", despite my being an 11-year-old on her bday], etc. etc.), it was verbal abuse, it was dictionaries flying across the room, it hiding in the back of the closet to avoid a strangling.
Perhaps I was so mild-mannered and good BECAUSE I was abused. Perhaps I acted out as a teen because of it, too. Perhaps I'm the EXTREMELY antisocial wallflower, who apologizes for ANYTHING and EVERYTHING at the drop of a hat, because of all of that mess. Probably.
See, a quick little punishment ... In a normal kid, a quick punishment, like a harsh tone, or a little swat, would tell them immediately, "hey, don't do that." But abuse changes the way a kid acts for their entire lives. It changes their psyche, not just their actions. And never for the better.
In some kids, like sixty, they lose scope of punishment altogether. They lose respect for authority, since they in turn receive no respect. They become rubber. EVERYTHING bounces off of them.
In some kids, like me, they lose all ego and self-will. They're to blame for everything. They absorb the damage, like a sponge. Or more aptly, they're glue. Everything sticks to them, and they carry it around their whole lives.
Paddling is fine. Done correctly, it delivers more fear than pain. Children innately WANT to be accepted, to be loved. You can punish them, but you don't take away the love, the respect.
I don't understand why some people have a hard time differentiating between punishment and abuse.
If you leave a mark, if you see terror in their eyes, you should know that you've crossed a line no loving parent should EVER cross.
If I got into a fight, I'd get belted.
If I lost that fight, I would be belted twice as hard.
If I cried during a belting, I'd get another the next day.
Grades? Every unsatisfactory mark was a belting.
Talking back to my mother? My tooth was chipped one time.
Talking back to my father? I never fucking did that.
I've been belted in the balls, face, teeth, and bruised in so many places. Do I hate my parents for it? I love them. Growing up in a violent household where my brothers and parents fought constantly, I had to accept the fact that my parents weren't going to let me become influenced by my sibling's barbaric behavior. Only a guardian has the authority to do that to their child. If anyone else wants to do it, I consider it assault.
Gotta love the south.
If I lost that fight, I would be belted twice as hard.
If I cried during a belting, I'd get another the next day.
Grades? Every unsatisfactory mark was a belting.
Talking back to my mother? My tooth was chipped one time.
Talking back to my father? I never fucking did that.
I've been belted in the balls, face, teeth, and bruised in so many places. Do I hate my parents for it? I love them. Growing up in a violent household where my brothers and parents fought constantly, I had to accept the fact that my parents weren't going to let me become influenced by my sibling's barbaric behavior. Only a guardian has the authority to do that to their child. If anyone else wants to do it, I consider it assault.
Gotta love the south.
Sic Semper Tyranosaurus
Sponsor
That is not all right for anyone to do.Karasawa":bklqlaqq said:
You got belted?! I envy you. My mom whupped my ass with an iron once. And my dad, I'd talk back to him when he was on house arrest when he'd say "I'm your father, respect me!", I 'd cuss him out and run outside and taunt him since he couldnt get me.Karasawa":p5fj5qvx said:
Seriously, though. Even though, I have bruises, I know that my moom did that because she cared about me. But there were times when I'd get spanked for something I didnt do.
Yep, southern parents are crazy
sixtyandaquarter
Member
i said i never told my sister yet i also said everyone took her word.Dissonance":24xeylwg said:
so obviously i told someone(s).
Anyway... back to the actual debate