Aleida
- Thread starter Sauk
- Start date
Shouldn't this be in Concept Dev since there's really nothing to go on?
That being said, your story is pretty cliche. Not sure if that's what you're going for or not. Also, you don't really give any information in the description, which makes it kind of hard to comment further. Who is attacking Tyrant? Who kidnapped the daughter, and why is it up to a slave to go rescue her? You also mentioned a person named Gina, but have no additional information about who she is, or how she knows about what's going to happen.
That being said, your story is pretty cliche. Not sure if that's what you're going for or not. Also, you don't really give any information in the description, which makes it kind of hard to comment further. Who is attacking Tyrant? Who kidnapped the daughter, and why is it up to a slave to go rescue her? You also mentioned a person named Gina, but have no additional information about who she is, or how she knows about what's going to happen.
Not much to say about the story that others haven't mentioned yet and I do agree that you go on but I would really work on the hair for your sprites or atleast the main one. You can't make the hair with one color you need to shade and add light affects also if you can't do that I recomend getting someone to sprite for you. Now about the story it is pretty cliche so I'd recommend working on it a bit more but it's not that bad. Others wise good luck making your games. :thumb:
If you have enough ideas for two games, go for it. Although keep in mind you can just as easily mix key parts of the backstory into a single game without drowning the beginning of the game with exposition (e.g. have playable segments as Sedai spaced out at relevant points of the main quest, which if done well could actually be p. cool and original). idk, just some ideas.Saukrates":1ktfvxkq said:
Okay, this might be nitpicking, but assuming this is an English speaking race, what sort of the leader would name his kingdom Tyrant? I understand it's meant to go with the main character being a slave and all, but as far as naming goes that doesn't seem very subtle.Saukrates":1ktfvxkq said:
Also, a slave releases a force of evil, wiping out half a village and devastating the royal family, and is subsequently freed in order to save the kingdom? This seems a little hard to believe; slaves wouldn't be trained in combat, so he's hardly the best man for the job. If it's his responsibility to save the kingdom after releasing said evil, a kingdom that's called Tyrant and takes slaves would probably have harsher consequences (death). I'm not asking you to completely change your protagonist or anything like that; but it might be good to come up with a more plausible explanation as to why he and Gina are chosen instead of an entire army (or what's left of it) from the imperial guard.
Saukrates":1ktfvxkq said:
The gameplay sounds interesting, though you might want to elaborate a bit more on the mechanics. I'm familiar with Blizz ABS, but are you using any unique gameplay mechanics (aside from the life bar)? If you don't have any ideas you're prepared to share (or don't want to) that's perfectly fine, just thought I'd ask. :~
Saukrates":1ktfvxkq said:
Random shit can work when implemented properly, lol. Just brainstorm, I guess. It's okay to have cliches in the backbone of your plot, but if you have original ideas to flesh it out, and if they work well with the rest of your story, the more the better. c:
Wow, huge post, my bad. >_> Anyway, hope my critique can be of some help!