A Shtikl of Bread

[kaze950]

A song for a hypothetical musical about WWII.

And yes, I am very bored. So I wrote it. I don't claim to be a master writer or anything like that, so don't expect Broadway-class lyrics here.

A Shtikl of Bread
Sung by Jewish Prisoner and Nationalsozialisten Guard

Jewish Prisoner: Hey, Mr. Guard, can you do me a favor?
Nationalsozialisten Guard: Nein, Nein, Nein, Nein
Jewish Prisoner: Can we please have some food; something basic to savor?
Nationalsozialisten Guard: Nein, Nein, Nein, Nein
Jewish Prisoner: I'll settle for matzah, I'll settle for bread!
Nationalsozialisten Guard: Nein, Nein...Nein, Nein, Nein!
Jewish Prisoner: A shtikl, a shtikl - a tiny shred!
Nationalsozialisten Guard: Nein, schmutzig juden - Nein, Nein, Nein!

Jewish Prisoner:
A shtikl of bread, A shtikl of water.
A shtikl of food or a shtikl of drink.
Some for my wife, maybe some for my daughter.
Won't you please sir? Think man, think!

(spoken)
Nationalsozialisten Guard:
Nein, Juden, Nein.
No water, no bread.
(end spoken)

Jewish Prisoner:
A shtikl of water, A shtikl of food!
Would a shtikl of matzah be fine?
Please sir, please; I don't mean to be rude.
Would a shtikl of bread be- (Nationalsozialisten Guard: Nein!)

Jewish Prisoner:
A shtikl of matzah
A shtikl of bread
A small bowl of pasta,
A cold deli spread!?

Perhaps a tasty chicken dish
Or a warm and nice bagel
Perhaps some juicy broiled fish,
but of course none with a shell.


A shtikl of food is all I desire
That's not very much, Mr. Guard.
Cannot just a shtikl be acquired?
Is it really, oh really, so hard?

Nationalsozialisten Guard:
If I told you once, I told you again
Nein, Nein, Nein, Nein, Nein!
Why can't you people comprehend?
Nein, Nein, Nein, Nein, Nein!

Jewish Prisoner (Speaking To The Audience and breaking the fourth wall):
Oy, this one's a real schumk, he is.

Jewish Prisoner (As the Guard continues to sing 'Nein' over and over):
A shtikl of bread,
A shtikl of water
A shtikl of chicken,
sent to the slaughter.
A shtikl of tuna,
A shtikl of beef,
later or soona' Mr. Chieffffffffffffffffffffff! (Neinnnnnnnnnnnnnnn)

Jewish Prisoner, joined in by other Jewish Prisoners:
We just want a shtikl of matzah...
A tiny, small shtikl of breaddddddddddddddddd!

Please, sir, pleaseeeeeee…

(Singing really fast now)
We need to be fed - or else we'll be dead
Or we'll all be dead!
Just a shtikl of bread!
A shtikl of bread!
A shtikl of bread!

(2 second pause)

(Singing like normal now)

A shtikllllllllllllll of matzahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh-
bread.

 

[Samboy]

*incorporates into WW2 musical*

 

[sixtyandaquarter]

Oh god I actually want to see someone sing that :x

 

[mawk]

This is actually pretty good. I want to know what sort of tune and rhythm it could have.

And yes, it could definitely fit into a WWII musical. : P

 

[kaze950]

I was thinking it could have an upbeat tune, sort of like "By the Sea" from Sweeney Todd.

 

[kaze950]

Here's a similar song. IMO, I like the first one better. Starts off as a sad ballad, changes to an upbeat song, then sad ballad, then upbeat for the last few lines. (Warning: Might be offensive the Jews. Then again, if you didn't find the first song offensive, I doubt you'll find this one offensive. Remember, this is all in good fun. I'm half-jewish myself.)

Mein Kampf
Sung by Hitler

(Singing sadly)
This is Mein Kampf…My story
My fable, my tale, and my life…
This is Mein Kampf…My Struggle
My tale full of hardship and strife


Some people would say I’m a bad guy
An evil, malevolent man
Some people might say I’m a villain
So let’s see where my life began….

…
…
(Singing upbeat))

In the year of Eighteen-Eighty-Nine
I was born, the fourth of six
Though my childhood wasn’t always fine
I knew nothing of conflicts

But I always liked to paint,
Draw pretty pictures on a canvas
But I saw that Deutschland had a taint,
A stain amidst the masses…

(Cue short, upbeat music solo)

It was the Jews! The Jews!
Those big nosed, kosher slime!
The kikes and the Hebrews!
Their existence is a crime!

(Cue short, upbeat music solo)

So I joined the German Workers’ Party
Or the GAP for short
The predecessors to the Nazis
And it was them I would support!

And soon I did become the Führer
Of the N-A-Z-I party
Our Aryan blood was true and pure!
And our words were true and hearty!

(Singing sadly now)

But when we tried our coup d'état
Sixteen of us were dead
And when I saw the power of the law
I ran like a coward, and fled

Although I contemplated suicide,
There was something to live for, a reason…
So I was arrested, afterwards tried,
For the crime they called High Treason.

This is Mein Kampf, like I said before
My struggle, from birth to the present
But I would not stand down anymore
Like a pitiful, and useless peasant

So soon I was released from jail,
And I led my party once again
And very soon I would prevail,
(Spoken)But no, no (Now Singing) not right thennnn…

(Singing upbeat now)

I would wait until the time is right
And lead this land by the law
And when all of Deutschland was in my sight
I would grasp it all in my claw!

So I won the elections, and claimed my seat
As Führer of Germany
And my Nazi Party marched the street,
With cheers of victory!

This is Mein Kampf, this is my story
Of How I rose to power
Of How I obtained fame and glory
Until my dying hourrrrrrrrrr!

EDIT: Just realized I doubled post. Sorry. If a mod sees this and wants to change it, feel free to merge it with my last post.

 

[Samboy]

Nah, it's an update. That's allowed.

Mein Kampf (my battle/war in german, no?) was also a book written by Hitler, containing elements of an autobiography combined with his political ideologies. Two volumes were published.

http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/e ... nkampf.jpg[/img]

 

[Grathea]

Well, samboy, it literally translates as 'My Struggle'.
It's actually quite an interesting read, as it gives input into Hitler and makes him less of a cardboard cutout of evil with no redeeming qualities whatsoever.
(Please note that this does not mean that I endorse Hitler, the Nazi party, or the persecution of minorities. However, it's a good reference for anyone making a WW2 game/story/whatever, as it helps write his character.)

 

[Samboy]

Hmm, I wouldn't mind having a read. Pity they'd go for about $200,000 on Ebay. I hate how all games make Hitler the ultimate evil, he was simply a political leader with some radical solutions. By radical, I mean gruesome. Not cool.

 

[kaze950]

I know that was his book, thats why I made it the title of the song, lol.

And $200,000? I'm sure that copies of it (not originals) are cheaper.

For example, you can get a paperback copy at Amazon.com for like 20 bucks

 

[Samboy]

You can get... copies?!? Sweet!

 

[Anonymous]

hahaha these are awesome.

 

[Grathea]

You can get... copies?!? Sweet!

Just in case you'd like to save money and an embarassing talk with a store clerk, the copyright on the book has timed out, and so it's on Project Gutenberg.
link

 

[kaze950]

Since this is my topic, I assume I'm allowed to necrobump it right? Since I'm adding new, related content?



Anyway, I wrote a new song. I just wrote it off the top of my head, so its not perfect, but here it is. It is being sung by FDR.



Infamous Day
December 7th....Nineteen-Forty-One
A day....that shall live in infamy.
But when it all.... is said and done,
America.....will have victory!

*cue slightly upbeat, military-sounding theme*

Unannounced and Undetected,
They deliberately attacked our land.
An evil plan, so unexpected
launched by the Empire of Japan.

Bombs were dropped,
Torpedoes fired,
Ships burning down,
just like a pyre.

And through the navy's surprise plot.
Are ships were thus destroyed.
But their attack was all for naught.
For our Planes and Subs deployed.

But such an act can't be ignored,
And so to Congress I implore,
To declare a state of war!

Remember, US of A...
This cold December seventh day...
And let it live in infamy,
And let it give us victory
Over our new found enemy,
Beyond the sea....

Congress, declare a state of war,
I ask of you this thing today,
And remember what we will fight for -
Pearl Harbor...of the UUUUUU SSSSSSS AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA.

 

[serrated_colon]

jesus dude if you could incorporate this it would be awesome
seriously

 

[Venetia]

holy crap why don't i come to the writing subforum more often???

if more musicals were like this, i think it would supersede movies in revenue. seriously.

well ... musical theatre would catch up a little, atleast ;3

 

[Luminier]

Best thing I've read on this whole board. These are very excellent. (is it wrong that I chuckled at the first one :x)

 

[mawk]

Dude, if you ever get the chance, you gotta make this into a stage musical. I would pay gold to see something with those sorts of songs.

 

[Grathea]

I agree that this needs to be made into a musical.
...Collaborative project, anyone? Get some musicians to score it, writers for the script, and maybe even people with stage backgrounds or musical theatre experience to record lines/sing some of the songs? Even without that, it'd still be majorly awesome. I mean, I've got some experience writing scripts for theatre, and I can sing, and I'd love to help out with something like this.


Hmm, maybe the story of a Jewish shopowner and his struggle to escape?
Could be pretty cool.

Although I really want to see some kind of song sung by the gays, since they were incarcerated in camps as well, and nobody really seems to mention that.

 

[kaze950]

Thanks for all the comments ^_^

Despite the hypothetical musical being primarily about WWII, one of the self-contained stories I had planned was a Romeo and Juliet-esque story, where the 'juliet' is a rich jew and the 'romeo' is a  commoner german. The latter later becomes a Nazi (Mainly because he is pro-germany, not necessarily anti-jew/gay/whatever) and the former becomes a jewish prisoner, and they end up meeting at a concentration camp.