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A Father's Treasure

Story


A father of a child has most of his possessions stolen, and he tried to sustain his family, but he did not have enough money to feed his family. Then bad comes to worse when his child was missing, he looked around the house, then, he saw a note saying, "I know who you are, and what you do, go do you job, and go deeper into the mines... your belongings are there, and your child..." Now, the father must find the reason for the kidnapping and save his child.

Characters


The Father
He is basically the protagonist. His name is customizable. His background is not much, really, it dosen't matter at all.

???
His just the villain, no information on him, you must play the game.

Prince Kent
Apparently, a wanna-be adventurous boy, his father has been warning him a thousand times not to enter the mines, but really, this brat wants to enter the mines and get lost. He really wished either: He shouldn't have gone there in the first place, or, have the REAL skills to survive in a DUNGEON.

Sir Chadyle
This knight is a bodyguard of Prince Kent, he coughs alot. His father and mother is apparently in Kootown waiting for him to come back so they can have a dinner with him. His parents are also VERY VERY creepy, and even though Chadyle is a brave man in the dungeons, he can scream "MOMMY! DADDY!" when he sees his parents.

Chuck
A dungeoneer, he has been in the dungeons for god-knows how long. He has a really good skill at detecting valuables, and is apparently a "Dungeon Rat", or a resident in the dungeons.

HELP NEEDED!


Interested in helping? You get around 10-40% of the CUT, if we win, negotiable. Also, I plan on selling this, so if you want, talk to me if you plan to have a cut on that also.

What do I need: Gralssland and Forests mapping, really its EASY to do.


Notes

This game is going to be a game with a serious storyline but with funny equipments and whacky statements.
 

Kipe

Member

Considering the two stories that you gave, I would much rather follow the first one.
The second story, to me, seems that there's not enough correlation between the characters, and the way that the story reads, there seems to be very little connection between the Towns-guard and the king. Basically, if I were the king, I wouldn't care.

Also, think of why you chose the mines, and then tell us. Why a king? Is there some secret? Why did the villain kidnap someone? Ask yourself these questions, and more, and then ask yourself, "Is there really enough information here, for the reader, to really understand what's going on in my mind?"

All in all, I think that you could work a bit on your story and go a little more in-depth on your skills as a game maker. Even better yet, include examples of your work. It could also help to format your topic in such a way as to draw interest to the main points. And with a project like this, going after prizes and $$ really shouldn't be what it's all about. Think from the perspective of your target audience.

I hope some of this helps, I hope you have fun, and I wish you the best of luck with your project. :smile:
 
The first story is easily more appealing. The second one seems to be just an excuse for dungeon crawling.

Just reading the story, I got the sense of a mystery, the kidnapper obviously can't be after ransom and there's a good chance what the kidnapper's after is in the mine. The other characters however doesn't convey the same feeling, dungeon crawl is the impression I get from them. I have no actual idea what you're going for with this project, so it's hard to judge what you have given us so far.
 
I'll work on the stories, yeah, actually, I think its very solid, but I was in a TERRIBLE hurry to put this up.]

I'll update it sometime.

Or maybe now.

Whatever.

Anyways, let me answer a few questions.

Why a mine?
Simple, there was a gold rush in the mines before, leaving no more gold in the mines, while people were leaving the mines after the last speck of gold was gone, there was a terrible earthquake and the mines basically collapsed on the poor humans. One of them was a noble, and she wore a beautiful necklace wanted by all the traders in the black market, it was one of a kind, made with pure gold, and, a one of a kind jewelry.

Now, this man wants the jewel so he can sell it, because slavery was outlawed by then, he wants a man to go inside to get what he wants. So in the mines, the father is then trapped by the kidnapper and he wants the father to find the ring for him. Another reason is because the kidnapper is afraid of zombies. When the father retrieves the necklace, the kidnapper escapes, giving the child to him.

Now, if I had enough time, I would do an epilogue. It's about a knight finding the kidnapper and kill him. But, that would take ALOT of time, so its like that for now.

Also, this game is more like a story with a touching ending, where do you see a game about a father saving his son?

EDIT: I've made my final name, time to make the titlescreen, then I'll update this thread.
 
I don't think you needed to reveal the plot, you just had to convince us that there is a well thought trough plot. As it is, the plot brings more questions. Why was there a noble in the mine and why is there zombies? I don't want to see the answer to those questions, I just want to know that you have thought about it, or failing that, that you're now thinking about it.

Also, this game is more like a story with a touching ending, where do you see a game about a father saving his son?
This is also what I wanted to know. Thank you.
 

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