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- Thread starter SevensAce
- Start date
coyotecraft
Sponsor
It started off good but then it kept going. Like you went past the point of being cryptic and enigmatic.
It got boring and you weren't separating the concepts very well.
A Palace somewhere. A wizard in a tower. A fortress with an army. A Shadow portal.
The ideas all blend together. Like in reverse it sounds like
"Across a portal, in a shadowland, marches a legion army manifested by a sleeping demon, summoned by a wizard in a tower, that's part of a magic-machine palace fortress."
"Age of the Vampire" is just shoehorned in there before "A witch casting a spell on humanity you are ready for battle"
That last part seemed like a run on sentence because of the way it's presented. But it was at that point I realized this was suppose to be some kind of montage of separate things - and I had to go back and watch it again.
Maybe you should start by clarifying that this isn't one thing happening, but many obstacles to overcome. And more importantly, bring it all together by explaining why you're going to face them.
It got boring and you weren't separating the concepts very well.
A Palace somewhere. A wizard in a tower. A fortress with an army. A Shadow portal.
The ideas all blend together. Like in reverse it sounds like
"Across a portal, in a shadowland, marches a legion army manifested by a sleeping demon, summoned by a wizard in a tower, that's part of a magic-machine palace fortress."
"Age of the Vampire" is just shoehorned in there before "A witch casting a spell on humanity you are ready for battle"
That last part seemed like a run on sentence because of the way it's presented. But it was at that point I realized this was suppose to be some kind of montage of separate things - and I had to go back and watch it again.
Maybe you should start by clarifying that this isn't one thing happening, but many obstacles to overcome. And more importantly, bring it all together by explaining why you're going to face them.
This is the introduction of MtG: Duels of the Planeswalkers 2013
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0VR3hqrwE-0
See, the opponents are easy to distinguish. You duel them first, then you get to duel the dragon. That's the game.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0VR3hqrwE-0
See, the opponents are easy to distinguish. You duel them first, then you get to duel the dragon. That's the game.
SallButler
Member
I am a fan of horror games. Especially is horror action games. So, I want to play your game. When you finish it. Please send the game to me. Thanks advance!