Dead Content Ameth I 1.1 (MI) Released
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Just a thing I didn't quite get...
Why do you place your name, country and other projects on the title screen? It isn't exactly information, that you need, when you start the game...
Also the title logo (as in the text) looks a bit boring... Maybe you could use some effects to make it better. Do you use a graphic program that supports layers, for your Title Screen?
It is really easy to do some basic stuff with those, once you get the hang on it.
Just an idea:
I am not good with stuff like this and I just used 1 minute to make it. But it looks way better as what you have right now doesn't it?
Why do you place your name, country and other projects on the title screen? It isn't exactly information, that you need, when you start the game...
Also the title logo (as in the text) looks a bit boring... Maybe you could use some effects to make it better. Do you use a graphic program that supports layers, for your Title Screen?
It is really easy to do some basic stuff with those, once you get the hang on it.
Just an idea:
I am not good with stuff like this and I just used 1 minute to make it. But it looks way better as what you have right now doesn't it?
Thank you very much, and I´m also wondering why (the hell) I didn´t made it more cooler, I´m working with it !
And thank you for coming back cause I´m working with the spelling correction ,
Also Justin , what EXACTLY is bad with the topic now ?
Also, the story is telled in a better way now, have you red the World Government History (not that you need, but I´m wondering) ?
EDIT : Look at the Title Screen now, I have laid some shadow effects on it, hope you like it
Now I´ve remade the intro, since many of you thought it was terrible (DAMN, I saw it thanks, Oh My WhAta BaD GrAmMar it was, now it´s changed and corrected spellings, also I have increased the intro so it tells much more of Ameth, The World Government and the truth and background of Ferrair and his friends)
I have discovered a cool effect to use in Photoline, my drawing program, I´m also downloading Paint.Net
And thank you for coming back cause I´m working with the spelling correction ,
Also Justin , what EXACTLY is bad with the topic now ?
Also, the story is telled in a better way now, have you red the World Government History (not that you need, but I´m wondering) ?
EDIT : Look at the Title Screen now, I have laid some shadow effects on it, hope you like it
Now I´ve remade the intro, since many of you thought it was terrible (DAMN, I saw it thanks, Oh My WhAta BaD GrAmMar it was, now it´s changed and corrected spellings, also I have increased the intro so it tells much more of Ameth, The World Government and the truth and background of Ferrair and his friends)
I have discovered a cool effect to use in Photoline, my drawing program, I´m also downloading Paint.Net
UPDATE. Maps is REDONE and influed by TUTORIAL ADVICES AND I have taken tutos. Inns and Villages is still left, but I´m bad at those maps (tilesets) I will post NEW SCRENSHOOTS.
UPDATE. Spelling is GREATLY (more not wholly) fixed and INTRO is made better (without the paint slammed on as before, but a nice background on the planet Ameth with text in-depht story, added beginning so that you understand what is going on)
UPDATE. Spelling is GREATLY (more not wholly) fixed and INTRO is made better (without the paint slammed on as before, but a nice background on the planet Ameth with text in-depht story, added beginning so that you understand what is going on)
I need help with one thing now, I have CORRECTED all grammar spelling ; And I am planning to Upload Ameth I (1.1) 2nd Version
on Filefront soon, but How do I upload it that people can unzip the extracted / distributable file (after downloading),
last time I tested at a school computer and I got the error "Cannot find RGSSad.dll" . How do I do ?
Shall I put the rgssad.dll BEFORE making distributable file ?
UPDATE. The Intro look now wholly clear. Also "MaqaBar prison" tileset is changed due to how bad it really looked before (OMG the old was Made in paint 0_o)
on Filefront soon, but How do I upload it that people can unzip the extracted / distributable file (after downloading),
last time I tested at a school computer and I got the error "Cannot find RGSSad.dll" . How do I do ?
Shall I put the rgssad.dll BEFORE making distributable file ?
UPDATE. The Intro look now wholly clear. Also "MaqaBar prison" tileset is changed due to how bad it really looked before (OMG the old was Made in paint 0_o)
I think I'm gonna stick in my two cents, which is about all it's worth. :specs:
I actually sat here and read this entire topic and am not going to comment on the game itself; everything I would say has been said. But as for how you display your game.... now that's another matter entirely.
I don't know what it looked like before (since I only just read it), but right now it could really use some work. I'll start with your opening. "Half year" and "great effort". Hm... Those two don't really belong together when concerning game making. Some people here have had their projects going for years. I myself have been working on mine for only about three months and it is no where near completion. (Whew, that's an understatement!) The time frame you've given immediately makes most do a double take.
Then comes your title screen... Please tell me you've changed that in game? It doesn't really look all that bad, but the colors hurt the eyes; it's too much red. Like your plot summary; reading through there hurts and to make sense of it, I had to go through it twice. You also have two completely different summaries posted. I actually went to your homepage and looked at it. So which one is right? The one here or the one on your site? Which ever it is, it needs to be rephrased a bit. What is this Red Materia you only mention once? Millennium Children? Are they spirits, ghosts, extra party members, what? Amaril City and "The Shadow Grinders" are mentioned on your site, but you say nothing of them here. It actually seems like two separate games. Are they?
I do have a bit more to add about that, but I'm about to have to get ready to go to work. But there is something I HAVE to ask before I go. It's totally off topic, but it's been talked about here several times, so flame away! No answer is really required. How old are you anyway? You say you're not a kid, but you sure act like one. I don't think you're eight; most eight-year-olds can't spell as many words as you can, especially in a second language. My guess is about ten to twelve based on how you respond to everything everyone says and how everything you do is "awesome". I mean nothing bad by this; I'm only curious. Your age makes a difference as to how people treat you; there's no getting around that. It also changes what people expect out of your work.
Now I've said my peace on this piece for now.
I actually sat here and read this entire topic and am not going to comment on the game itself; everything I would say has been said. But as for how you display your game.... now that's another matter entirely.
I don't know what it looked like before (since I only just read it), but right now it could really use some work. I'll start with your opening. "Half year" and "great effort". Hm... Those two don't really belong together when concerning game making. Some people here have had their projects going for years. I myself have been working on mine for only about three months and it is no where near completion. (Whew, that's an understatement!) The time frame you've given immediately makes most do a double take.
Then comes your title screen... Please tell me you've changed that in game? It doesn't really look all that bad, but the colors hurt the eyes; it's too much red. Like your plot summary; reading through there hurts and to make sense of it, I had to go through it twice. You also have two completely different summaries posted. I actually went to your homepage and looked at it. So which one is right? The one here or the one on your site? Which ever it is, it needs to be rephrased a bit. What is this Red Materia you only mention once? Millennium Children? Are they spirits, ghosts, extra party members, what? Amaril City and "The Shadow Grinders" are mentioned on your site, but you say nothing of them here. It actually seems like two separate games. Are they?
I do have a bit more to add about that, but I'm about to have to get ready to go to work. But there is something I HAVE to ask before I go. It's totally off topic, but it's been talked about here several times, so flame away! No answer is really required. How old are you anyway? You say you're not a kid, but you sure act like one. I don't think you're eight; most eight-year-olds can't spell as many words as you can, especially in a second language. My guess is about ten to twelve based on how you respond to everything everyone says and how everything you do is "awesome". I mean nothing bad by this; I'm only curious. Your age makes a difference as to how people treat you; there's no getting around that. It also changes what people expect out of your work.
Now I've said my peace on this piece for now.
Okay, one thing, I haven´t updated my homepage so SKIP THAT VERSION OF AMETH I it is so wrong, THIS one is the right STORY, so read it again if needed, and what (!?) The plot sumnmary is really really really detailed so it WOULD tell the story very well, however it cannot be more detailed even if Millenium Children or such isn´t mentioned that much...
So I would change the size of my text yes
And please don´t guess my age, WHY would I be 8 / 10 years old, please stop it, I may be a little bad in English.
So anything more wrong (hard to understand) in the topic
Well anyway, does it sound better reading (interesting ) ? I also hope that my maps look better now when they´re updated (re-done)
EDIT : the Font has now normal size except for the story text
So I would change the size of my text yes
And please don´t guess my age, WHY would I be 8 / 10 years old, please stop it, I may be a little bad in English.
So anything more wrong (hard to understand) in the topic
Well anyway, does it sound better reading (interesting ) ? I also hope that my maps look better now when they´re updated (re-done)
EDIT : the Font has now normal size except for the story text
The detail of your summary is not the problem. Your English really isn't much of a problem either. (At least not to me. ^_^) I think it's more the jumping from item to item. Hm... That's not a good way of explaining that is it? Let me think a moment....
Okay, I'm reading over your summary as I type this. The first paragraph is fine, no real issues there (aside from grammar, but I'm not talking about that here). I do have a little bit of a nitpick about the second to last sentence though. You wrote "One day when MaqaBar Faction of The World Govenment got a new leader, the organization where dismissed from The World Government." That kind of makes it sound like as soon as Zarx became the leader, they were dismissed. I assume that it took a little while (a couple of months or maybe a year or so) before they realized his true nature. This sentence confuses that a bit. Again, that's just a personal little nitpick of mine; no biggie.
Second paragraph. In the first, Maqabar seems to be some kind of country or group of people; here it kind of seems to be just a powerful and influential company. Maybe it's both? A company that grew into a country perhaps? That's an interesting concept... I can see a large company building with several wings dedicated to employee apartments.... :tongue: But anyway, that's just another one of those things I notice.
Third paragraph. A lot happens here; nothing wrong with that. I think it could be ordered a bit differently though. The flow of sentences seems... busy. Yeah, that's about the right word. At the end of the second paragraph, it mentions Maqabar's prowess with machines, then the third jumps into Zarx discovering Nova Angel. It's just a little of a shock, like going from one chapter to the next. Maybe start with your "At the same time as MaqaBar builded machines for the war..." and then put in your bit about his discovery of Nova. Then follow up that while he was in his castle, he used Nova's power, etc. Maybe cut out mentioning the machine war for now; that sounds more like a dramatic closing teaser than mid-summary info.
Fourth paragraph/sentence. Hm. If the summary stopped here, it would be perfectly fine where it is, but as you continue to read, it seems a little odd. Perhaps cut this and move the info down to the sixth paragraph where you talk about the Warriors of Light. (At least I'm pretty sure that phrase refers to the same three warriors.)
Fifth paragraph. Here is where confusion really sets in. The World Government you speak of implies that it governs the entire world, and here comes a king. Is the World Government like the UN? I just scrolled back up and reread the first paragraph again (yup, another suggestion for the first; sorry to skip around), and you do state "INCLUDING the three organizations..." which could easily imply more than three, but is a little misleading. The "including" could just be what is used to start listing the three organizations. Perhaps add something like "among others" to the end of that sentence. Okay, sorry about that. I should move that up to the first paragraph section, but I'm gonna be lazy and not do it.
Okay, back in lecture mode and back to the fifth paragraph. World Government like the UN. When you put that Mirasol is a leading organization, it's kind of like repeating yourself. Unless you're saying that Mirasol is now THE leading organization instead of Tekka Tora? I just reread the "outsended" part. Are you trying to say "sent out" or "ousted"? I'm guessing you mean they were "sent out" to fight the machines, thus starting the machine war. And the second sentence fixes that problem; they were sent out. Out to the imperial city to talk to the king. Clarify that they sent someone and not the whole organization; it's kind of common sense, I know, but it kind of sounds like the whole lot of them up and traveled to Argahan Lehin. I can see it now!! The street full of Mirasolians, the townspeople moving aside from the procession in wonderment... Uh... yeah, I really doubt that's the case. ^_^ Anywho, next up. The king summons the Midhan Consul!! In RPG speak, that usually means calling a creature to fight for you. Common sense, however, says that you mean that the king will call the Empire to fight with Mirasol. Ha ha! Here I solve the little problem of multiple organizations!! Duh! Is King Pihra the leader of the Midhan Consul, or is the Midhan Empire something else? But you also state that he "was once a member of Midham Consul". Well there went that theory since he is apparently still a king. Honorary title maybe? And back to Zarx. This really could have been said in the third paragraph. Perhaps add a meanwhile at the beginning of this? Another nitpick of mine; it just sounds better to me. Is Red Materia a weapon or creature of some sort? Or is it some other kind of power? I'm sorry, but the whole "drew Red Materia from cosmos" just throws me off. Hm... Maybe add something like "to help their cause" to the end of that. It would give a reason instead of just randomly getting Red Materia. The shadow grinder thing makes sense; they're his own personal army of sorts, right? Wait, is the Red Materia Nova's army? Hm...
I'm skipping the last paragraph for now and going back to your three warriors. Now seems like a more appropriate time to talk about them. That war is laid out; everything is coming together; a gruesome battle is at hand. Now someone must choose three elite Warriors of Light to send on a secret mission to recover the powerful God Crystals to save the world! (dramatic drumroll please) Not necessarily the way your story goes, but this just seems like a better place for them to me.
Sixth paragraph. You really don't need to repeat that the king summoned the Empire; you just said it so it is a little redundant. Another nitpick, I know, and here's one more for you. I really think you should put mention of the Millennium Children when you first talk about the warriors.
Whew! I can't believe that took me almost an hour! Wow. I hope I helped a bit. If not... Damn, I just wasted an hour I could have spent on my game!
If I offended you at any time, I apologize; I really am just trying to help.
Edit: Sorry everyone; I guess I should have just PMed this...
Okay, I'm reading over your summary as I type this. The first paragraph is fine, no real issues there (aside from grammar, but I'm not talking about that here). I do have a little bit of a nitpick about the second to last sentence though. You wrote "One day when MaqaBar Faction of The World Govenment got a new leader, the organization where dismissed from The World Government." That kind of makes it sound like as soon as Zarx became the leader, they were dismissed. I assume that it took a little while (a couple of months or maybe a year or so) before they realized his true nature. This sentence confuses that a bit. Again, that's just a personal little nitpick of mine; no biggie.
Second paragraph. In the first, Maqabar seems to be some kind of country or group of people; here it kind of seems to be just a powerful and influential company. Maybe it's both? A company that grew into a country perhaps? That's an interesting concept... I can see a large company building with several wings dedicated to employee apartments.... :tongue: But anyway, that's just another one of those things I notice.
Third paragraph. A lot happens here; nothing wrong with that. I think it could be ordered a bit differently though. The flow of sentences seems... busy. Yeah, that's about the right word. At the end of the second paragraph, it mentions Maqabar's prowess with machines, then the third jumps into Zarx discovering Nova Angel. It's just a little of a shock, like going from one chapter to the next. Maybe start with your "At the same time as MaqaBar builded machines for the war..." and then put in your bit about his discovery of Nova. Then follow up that while he was in his castle, he used Nova's power, etc. Maybe cut out mentioning the machine war for now; that sounds more like a dramatic closing teaser than mid-summary info.
Fourth paragraph/sentence. Hm. If the summary stopped here, it would be perfectly fine where it is, but as you continue to read, it seems a little odd. Perhaps cut this and move the info down to the sixth paragraph where you talk about the Warriors of Light. (At least I'm pretty sure that phrase refers to the same three warriors.)
Fifth paragraph. Here is where confusion really sets in. The World Government you speak of implies that it governs the entire world, and here comes a king. Is the World Government like the UN? I just scrolled back up and reread the first paragraph again (yup, another suggestion for the first; sorry to skip around), and you do state "INCLUDING the three organizations..." which could easily imply more than three, but is a little misleading. The "including" could just be what is used to start listing the three organizations. Perhaps add something like "among others" to the end of that sentence. Okay, sorry about that. I should move that up to the first paragraph section, but I'm gonna be lazy and not do it.
Okay, back in lecture mode and back to the fifth paragraph. World Government like the UN. When you put that Mirasol is a leading organization, it's kind of like repeating yourself. Unless you're saying that Mirasol is now THE leading organization instead of Tekka Tora? I just reread the "outsended" part. Are you trying to say "sent out" or "ousted"? I'm guessing you mean they were "sent out" to fight the machines, thus starting the machine war. And the second sentence fixes that problem; they were sent out. Out to the imperial city to talk to the king. Clarify that they sent someone and not the whole organization; it's kind of common sense, I know, but it kind of sounds like the whole lot of them up and traveled to Argahan Lehin. I can see it now!! The street full of Mirasolians, the townspeople moving aside from the procession in wonderment... Uh... yeah, I really doubt that's the case. ^_^ Anywho, next up. The king summons the Midhan Consul!! In RPG speak, that usually means calling a creature to fight for you. Common sense, however, says that you mean that the king will call the Empire to fight with Mirasol. Ha ha! Here I solve the little problem of multiple organizations!! Duh! Is King Pihra the leader of the Midhan Consul, or is the Midhan Empire something else? But you also state that he "was once a member of Midham Consul". Well there went that theory since he is apparently still a king. Honorary title maybe? And back to Zarx. This really could have been said in the third paragraph. Perhaps add a meanwhile at the beginning of this? Another nitpick of mine; it just sounds better to me. Is Red Materia a weapon or creature of some sort? Or is it some other kind of power? I'm sorry, but the whole "drew Red Materia from cosmos" just throws me off. Hm... Maybe add something like "to help their cause" to the end of that. It would give a reason instead of just randomly getting Red Materia. The shadow grinder thing makes sense; they're his own personal army of sorts, right? Wait, is the Red Materia Nova's army? Hm...
I'm skipping the last paragraph for now and going back to your three warriors. Now seems like a more appropriate time to talk about them. That war is laid out; everything is coming together; a gruesome battle is at hand. Now someone must choose three elite Warriors of Light to send on a secret mission to recover the powerful God Crystals to save the world! (dramatic drumroll please) Not necessarily the way your story goes, but this just seems like a better place for them to me.
Sixth paragraph. You really don't need to repeat that the king summoned the Empire; you just said it so it is a little redundant. Another nitpick, I know, and here's one more for you. I really think you should put mention of the Millennium Children when you first talk about the warriors.
Whew! I can't believe that took me almost an hour! Wow. I hope I helped a bit. If not... Damn, I just wasted an hour I could have spent on my game!
If I offended you at any time, I apologize; I really am just trying to help.
Edit: Sorry everyone; I guess I should have just PMed this...
It is okey ^_^ You´re saying it in a really nice way, and so it was I who wondered if anything gone wrong with the topic, thankk you, improvements will come, IMPORTANT THING : The World Government rules the world but there may be kings ruling their COUNTRY (As King Pihra)
And of Course I will explain what Red Materia is, it is particles in cosmos, that Nova Angel is capable of drawing to use, therefore she is extremly powerful in The Machine War...
And NO, not whole Mirasol was sent out (Where does is it written that they became the leading organization !?)
Also the correct thing would be Warriors of Light (NOT chosen, but found the first God Crystal, therefore chosen by the gods) : They must draw the power of all 4 God Crystals with the help of the Aeons Millenium Children, who will guide them there. With the divine power they can defeat ZArx and his data darkness...
They WON´T fight The Machine War, as they ONLY have the mission to take care of Zarx and his darkness, while Midham Empire and Mirasol Army takes care of the war against MaqaBar in Crazaan Capital.
Thank you, I will mix around and improve trough your advices , you haven´t waste your hour ^_^
EDIT : Improvments fixed, The paragraphs is sorted in "right order" now, and looks better. I have also written that there may be Kings ruling smaller countries while World Government rules the whole world.
Ps. So no grammar wrong more ?
Ps.2 Is the UPDATED maps looking great ?
And of Course I will explain what Red Materia is, it is particles in cosmos, that Nova Angel is capable of drawing to use, therefore she is extremly powerful in The Machine War...
And NO, not whole Mirasol was sent out (Where does is it written that they became the leading organization !?)
Also the correct thing would be Warriors of Light (NOT chosen, but found the first God Crystal, therefore chosen by the gods) : They must draw the power of all 4 God Crystals with the help of the Aeons Millenium Children, who will guide them there. With the divine power they can defeat ZArx and his data darkness...
They WON´T fight The Machine War, as they ONLY have the mission to take care of Zarx and his darkness, while Midham Empire and Mirasol Army takes care of the war against MaqaBar in Crazaan Capital.
Thank you, I will mix around and improve trough your advices , you haven´t waste your hour ^_^
EDIT : Improvments fixed, The paragraphs is sorted in "right order" now, and looks better. I have also written that there may be Kings ruling smaller countries while World Government rules the whole world.
Ps. So no grammar wrong more ?
Ps.2 Is the UPDATED maps looking great ?
Glad to help! ^_^ Yes, you still have some grammar issues, but in my opinion they can be overlooked since English is your second language. I can only imagine how horrible mine would be if I tried to learn a new language! I'd be speaking like a Chinese person first learning English, "It no good" or something like that. I haven't actually played your game yet, so I can't comment on in game grammar.
As for your maps... Hm. They're not great yet, but they're quite a bit better than the first set. I'm not one to give mapping advice; I could use some of that myself I'm sure! ^_^ But I can give a little tileset advice. The tileset in the first screen kind of hurts the eyes. I think it has too much of a yellow tint to it. Maybe just tone down the saturation of the buildings and cliffs a bit and it won't hurt so much. In the last screen, the (I think that's what it is) mechanical bits are a little off. Not where you have them, it's just they don't really match the rest of the tileset. Again, maybe toning the saturation a bit would help. Or maybe use a silver tone instead of bronze? Yes, I think that would fit in with the buildings nicely.
Okay, I have to go now. If you don't have the right program to change your tilesets, I could help if you like. Just let me know. ^_^
As for your maps... Hm. They're not great yet, but they're quite a bit better than the first set. I'm not one to give mapping advice; I could use some of that myself I'm sure! ^_^ But I can give a little tileset advice. The tileset in the first screen kind of hurts the eyes. I think it has too much of a yellow tint to it. Maybe just tone down the saturation of the buildings and cliffs a bit and it won't hurt so much. In the last screen, the (I think that's what it is) mechanical bits are a little off. Not where you have them, it's just they don't really match the rest of the tileset. Again, maybe toning the saturation a bit would help. Or maybe use a silver tone instead of bronze? Yes, I think that would fit in with the buildings nicely.
Okay, I have to go now. If you don't have the right program to change your tilesets, I could help if you like. Just let me know. ^_^
Please come back and Thank You !!! I´ll tone the down a bit, bt first I think I will release Ameth I 1.1
Does the maps need any more add-ons you think ?
UPDATE : I have now added a SECRET ENDING that can be unlocked and enjoyed after seeing the Ending.
UPDATE : The Game is ready to be uploaded as a 1.1 Version (Spellings corrected, maps improved, bug-tested etc.)
EDIT : Ameth I 1.1 (MI) Uploaded ! Look in The Topic Intro to download it
(MI = Maps Improved)
Does the maps need any more add-ons you think ?
UPDATE : I have now added a SECRET ENDING that can be unlocked and enjoyed after seeing the Ending.
UPDATE : The Game is ready to be uploaded as a 1.1 Version (Spellings corrected, maps improved, bug-tested etc.)
EDIT : Ameth I 1.1 (MI) Uploaded ! Look in The Topic Intro to download it
(MI = Maps Improved)
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