[VX] As The World Falls Away [NEWEST DEMO]

[Hamstt]

Story
For 237 years a man called Meraph has been secretly overthrowing half of the world. It was not known about till around 43 years ago. This half of the world that has been overthrown has been turned into something that the people of Ethran know as Destroyed Space.

Destroyed Space is nearly unexplainable. It is one of the many corners of the world and the places where the laws of nature do not exist. No-one knows why Meraph is causing this chaos but it is know that it has to be stopped.

There are two organizations who are trying to do this. One of them is called: Memory Of Before Chaos and the other is called: Dead But Alive. Memory Of Before Chaos is using 'Special' people called Matterers to stop the Destroyed Space whilst is taking over certain parts of Ethran. But know there is only one Matterer left. All the rest have been personally taken out by Meraph himself. The Last Matterer lives is the town of Beston which is foolishly built upon Destroyed Space. This town is unique because of this; its most startling feature being that there is lava, water and trees right next to each other. The town is also freezing cold.

However... Dead But Alive are fighting Meraph for a much different reason to Memory Of Before Chaos. No-one knows for sure apart from one single soul...



Characters

Hamstt
Age: 23
Hometown: Beston
Hamstt is the one and only last Matterer. After being in training at the Memory Of Before Chaos hideout in Beston he took on his mission of saving Sophia who went missing for 3 days in the Ancient Cavern. He is very sarcastic and this clashes with Sophia's personality but they do become friends. In the end...

Sophia
Age: 20
Hometown: Crackle Reef
Sophia is a very strong willed girl who can defeat anyone in a sword fight. She unwillingly joins Hamstt as instucted by the Memory Of Before Chaos Leader. She has a very proud personality which helps her win arguments but doesn't win her many friends.

Leader
Age: 51
Hometown: Unknown
His real name isn't Leader. He is just knows as that becuase no-one knows his real name apart from a single soul. He is the leader of Memory Of Before Chaos and a good one at that. Apart from this not much is known about him.

Demonic
Age: Unknown
Hometown: Unknown
Less is know about Demonic than Leader. All people know is that he is the strongest member of Dead But Alive and that he has self appointed himself as Hamstt's rivel.



Features
ATBS Sideview Battle System
MOG Title Screen
Neo Save System
MOG Battleback XP
Advanced State Effects
Much More...



Screenies

Title Screen:

Beston Town:

Hideout Upstairs:

Beston Residence:

Videos

Intro (Very Outdated):
Intro Video

First Boss Battle (Outdated):
Boss Battle Video



Credits
Credits In Game



Demo
The Demo Is Fixed!



Hope You Enjoy!

 

[HarryE]

Checked the video. Very nice. Good start, definatley.

However, you do need to get rid of "Your going to do this" That's seriously amateurish. It's your, or you are, please.

Your mapping also needs to be tightened up a bit. It's very sparse, and everything is spread out. Just all seems too empty. Bring the walls in some, and the village, bring the houses a lot closer together. Unless you're planning on adding some more stuff later, in which case forget what I just said.

 

[Hamstt]

That video is from a few days ago and the mapping is a bit better now but not perfect. Im kinda confused on what you ment by this:

However, you do need to get rid of "Your going to do this" That's seriously amateurish. It's your, or you are, please.

Other than that thanks.

 

[Venetia]

Hey cutiemuffin, you're required to post atleast 3 gameplay screenshots. There's a video, but we need something to ref at a glance (screenshots).

Please add some ASAP before we have to bring in the lock-brigade

 

[Hamstt]

Ok sorry. I will right away.  :neutral:

EDIT: Done  :lol:

 

[HarryE]

That video is from a few days ago and the mapping is a bit better now but not perfect. Im kinda confused on what you ment by this:

However, you do need to get rid of "Your going to do this" That's seriously amateurish. It's your, or you are, please.

Other than that thanks.

"I guess your right,"
"Your better than I thought,"
"There no action around here unless your part of the elite,"

It's "You're" or "You are".

 

[Hamstt]

That video is from a few days ago and the mapping is a bit better now but not perfect. Im kinda confused on what you ment by this:

However, you do need to get rid of "Your going to do this" That's seriously amateurish. It's your, or you are, please.

Other than that thanks.

"I guess your right,"
"Your better than I thought,"
"There no action around here unless your part of the elite,"

It's "You're" or "You are".

Oh right (im such an idiot) thanks will change straight away.

 

[Hamstt]

I have a new screenshot of Beston Town. Here it is:

Spoiler: Beston Town

 

[mawk]

Seems awfully blurry. If you're going to upload a large image to Photobucket, make sure that you've changed the size restriction to allow the whole thing to upload or it'll resize it and make it look lame.

 

[e]

The video looks pretty nice, and, technically, this looks awesome. However, the story seems lacking, the characters frigid, and the mapping a little bland from time to time.

But otherwise some of the stuff was really top-notch (mostly technically, i.e.: the shop and stuff).

 

[dadevvtsvre]

Besides that, the paths are a little too straight, and the map is overall a bit boring. It's lacking any interesting parts. Try adding things such as more homes, more trees and greenery, rocks, things that will make it stand out. Other things like not mixing the VX and XP RTP could help. You should probably use one or the other to keep things consistent. The water edge is a bit too straight, the trees on the top and bottom seem too repetitive, and that line of grass on the bottom is too straight as well. I don't think you should use a dirt ground type for the town (or at least not where the forest is, I think that should be grass while the rest perhaps could be dirt) On the plus side, the geography of the town seems interesting, reminds me of an old west town ('cept for the forests, of course) As with all your maps, it seems a bit empty. That doesn't mean cramming it with useless pixels, it could just mean shrinking the size a little.

I have to ask, what is that large grassy area on the bottom? Is it a garden?

 

[bubbaclark]

I watched the vid, and it looks pretty good. The Beston Town map overall seems a little bland, a little more ground variations wouldn't hurt. At the bottom of that map, where there's all the trees, the top left corner of 1 tree is cut off, so just thought I should throw that out.

 

[Injury]

Screenies look good, just the mapping could use some touching up. I don't know if anyone suggested this to you, but trees like that one in your dessert town screen shot don't really grow in a dessert, unless the sand itself is rich with nutrients, which sand elementally is not. Just a suggestion...you could make it a dead tree or something, that would pass.

 

[Hamstt]

Thanks everyone  :smile: I will be taking all your comments into acoount and will be remapping Beston Town totally. Please excuse the bad mapping at the moment. It will get better.

 

[Kylebot2000]

I'd like credit for my slime sprites, if possible. The game looks interesting.

 

[dadevvtsvre]

I'd like credit for my slime sprites, if possible. The game looks interesting.

He doesn't have to put credit in the thread. It's alright if it's in the game. Although if he has the list there then he might as well.

Also, here's a tip you may want to consider-perhaps you could get a different kind of background for your battles? Many people are tired of the same old default swirling background so maybe something like this could enhance the battle system a little more.

 

[Hamstt]

I'd like credit for my slime sprites, if possible. The game looks interesting.

Yes sure. The credit is in the game so don't worry.
(Will edit post soon)

Also, here's a tip you may want to consider-perhaps you could get a different kind of background for your battles? Many people are tired of the same old default swirling background so maybe something like this could enhance the battle system a little more.

Thanks. I will definatley use this script.

 

[Hamstt]

I have a new video up now so make sure to watch it. Also I should be realeasing a short demo soon of the game which will contain the first dungeon and the first boss.

Spoiler: VIDEO

http://uk.youtube.com/watch?v=B3GsLBBLKy8

The Hamstt iz Goodz
(Hopefully)

 

[Injury]

Hey there Hamstt....

I downloaded your demo, and this is what I have for you...a review!

Okey, lets start!

Spoiler: Review

Intro/Title
-I liked the animated title screen, but the graphics for your title/choices are a bit odd. They could pass, but I doubt that they would be some good eye candy.
-You might want new music for your title screen...look around, there are songs everywhere! Just be sure to credit people!
-Upon starting a new game, you ask if people want to learn the controls. I don't find it necessary to learn how to press the arrow keys, the esc/c/x keys, or anything of that nature, lest you have dynamic controls, which you don't.
-I would honestly just let them choose their ABS speed, and get on with the game. Oh, and if you only choose one option, it skips to the game right away. I think you should give them their choices again, and then move on when they are done.
-Your choice for battle speed asks: "Do you want to change the speed?"
-You reply Yes.
-It says "Let's start the game." and then offers your choices. You might want to rearrange these properly.
-Also, I get an error "Stack Level Too Deep" for you music if someone resets with F12.
-The leader gives an exclamation emote when his sentence reads: "You tried your best Hamstt." (It doesn't feel like he means it, maybe add an exclamation at the end of that sentence.)
-I like the music, but I don't hear the lava, or the rain very well...Also, it's weird to see rain near lava. The only rain I know of near lava is acid rain....
-More exclamation emotes from your hero, but no exclamations in the sentences themselves...I'd remove maybe one of those emotes...
-Ok...Just saw the next one. You should cut back on your overuse of emotes!
-Your cut scene with the demon guy is ok...the fight was way to easy, and your dialog was kinda cheesy...maybe you could add a bit more to it, make the characters more dynamic, not so generic.
-"Your strong than I thought" battles and whatnot, they are kinda cliche, but it's up to you, I like it a little bit.
-Your leader, who was asking him who the demonic guy was, knows everything about him for whatever reason...Also, when you ask him what to do, he replies with: "Get items, and stuff. Help people out. Talk to the guy at the door." This use of dialog is simple at best...I suggest that you try something different!
-Your tables could use legs! Your mapping could use a little work, some of it seems weird.
-NPCs could use some more dialog. You have self-switches for a reason! They are useful for NPC dialog!
-OK, big consistency issue. You have the sub-main character, The Leader, who is the leader of a group that is trying to protect your world, and yet your NPCs call him "your friend" or something similar. This person should be more important to your NPC's village, or maybe they should know less about him. Just thinking about it all...
-Another problem, you have trees that are growing on lava rock. Despite the high levels of nutrients in lava rock, there is no way a tree could take root, which is maybe why the roots are sticking out of the ground, but it doesn't change the fact that the rock is solid.
-The first NPC outside that I talked to said "It's cold in this town. I'm not old enough to know why though." How is it cold with all this damned lava around?
-The fire in the old man's house is coming out of the fireplace. It could burn the house, but w/e.
-Whoa, I was fighting the slime, and the equipment window popped up before the fight started!
-The old man was walking down the stairs, you might want to just make him not walk down all the way.
-Change some of the default graphics for Mog's menus...
-Stimulants are axes in icons. weird!
-You don't need to abbreviate the shopkeeper's name...There is enough for Armory Shopkeeper
-The little girl who enters the old man's shop wants sweets, but apparently she doesn't leave the fire. You have potential to make your NPCs dynamic! Make the boy ask "Where did she go in a hurry?" and maybe add a line for the little girl that reads, "Where did he go? I told him to come with me!" or something...
-Oh, you should change the sprite for the Armory shopkeeper as well, you don't want twins in your town, right?
First Dungeon/Maps
-All of a sudden we are in the underground? Weird
-Your teleports could be under the player, so maybe they step on it and it works!
-Another note, the equipment list keeps popping up when entering battles. Check your scripts for inconsistencies!
-Your items descriptions aren't fitting the screen, try to chop them down.
-Your items names are funny...'Stronger' Steel Staff
-The staff I bought, I couldn't even equip...
-Surprisingly, your dungeon has intuitive design...by that I mean it could piss the player off trying to figure out where to go!
-Maybe work on your tilesets, they look funky, but they kinda fit...
-ARGHGHH, is what they both say.. maybe they could say: "AHHHHHHHHHH!" since you scared each other, not stabbed.
-Stop using your emotes so much. They are starting to annoy even me!  :tongue: :crazy: :pissed:
-"Yes I am. Have you come to see why I was missing?" sounds like they sent you to find out why, then just return. Maybe it could read, "Yes I am. Have you come to take me back to the village? I know I've been gone a while, but I'm not ready to leave yet!"
-"Yes. I'm a hero, aren't I?" No, your not a hero, you are THE hero!
-More emotes...AHHHHH...
-*cough*women*cough* <- don't expect lesbians to like this too much.
-"..." and the exclamation emote don't work together.
-Ok, ice monster makes the town surrounded by lava cold...uhhh?
-"Forget who's mission  it is! Lets go before..." who's should be whose and Lets could be Let's.
-Wow, great battle, it was actually a challenge!
End of demo
-Your credits should be disposed of if the player hits select over again.
-I like the "debug room" feel, could use more options in the future!

Overall: 6.5/10
Your story is a great concept, but there are still a lot of issues and details to be worked out. I find your characters somewhat flat, but the interactions between Sophia and Hamstt in the end of the demo was OK at best. Music is OK, you should take off that dark noise all the time, it can get kind of annoying. The maps are OK, but your choice in tilesets could be better, try finding someone who has some good sets, it will make your game look a lot better. I think your strong points are your battle system, your menus...pretty much anything that you put in via script...Honestly if you removed that, it wouldn't be too much...Oh, and the particle animation system is a nice touch too.

Keep it up, and this could shape up to be a decent game! I hope I've helped in some small way, rather than pissing you off, or discouraging you. It's not my intention. My intention is to make people make better games, or at least know what better games are all about, having played so many in my time. Not only that, but a lot of topics, major ones anyways, always need to start somewhere...

Good luck!

 

[Hamstt]

Hey there Hamstt....

I downloaded your demo, and this is what I have for you...a review!

Okey, lets start!

Spoiler: Review

Intro/Title
-I liked the animated title screen, but the graphics for your title/choices are a bit odd. They could pass, but I doubt that they would be some good eye candy.
-You might want new music for your title screen...look around, there are songs everywhere! Just be sure to credit people!
-Upon starting a new game, you ask if people want to learn the controls. I don't find it necessary to learn how to press the arrow keys, the esc/c/x keys, or anything of that nature, lest you have dynamic controls, which you don't.
-I would honestly just let them choose their ABS speed, and get on with the game. Oh, and if you only choose one option, it skips to the game right away. I think you should give them their choices again, and then move on when they are done.
-Your choice for battle speed asks: "Do you want to change the speed?"
-You reply Yes.
-It says "Let's start the game." and then offers your choices. You might want to rearrange these properly.
-Also, I get an error "Stack Level Too Deep" for you music if someone resets with F12.
-The leader gives an exclamation emote when his sentence reads: "You tried your best Hamstt." (It doesn't feel like he means it, maybe add an exclamation at the end of that sentence.)
-I like the music, but I don't hear the lava, or the rain very well...Also, it's weird to see rain near lava. The only rain I know of near lava is acid rain....
-More exclamation emotes from your hero, but no exclamations in the sentences themselves...I'd remove maybe one of those emotes...
-Ok...Just saw the next one. You should cut back on your overuse of emotes!
-Your cut scene with the demon guy is ok...the fight was way to easy, and your dialog was kinda cheesy...maybe you could add a bit more to it, make the characters more dynamic, not so generic.
-"Your strong than I thought" battles and whatnot, they are kinda cliche, but it's up to you, I like it a little bit.
-Your leader, who was asking him who the demonic guy was, knows everything about him for whatever reason...Also, when you ask him what to do, he replies with: "Get items, and stuff. Help people out. Talk to the guy at the door." This use of dialog is simple at best...I suggest that you try something different!
-Your tables could use legs! Your mapping could use a little work, some of it seems weird.
-NPCs could use some more dialog. You have self-switches for a reason! They are useful for NPC dialog!
-OK, big consistency issue. You have the sub-main character, The Leader, who is the leader of a group that is trying to protect your world, and yet your NPCs call him "your friend" or something similar. This person should be more important to your NPC's village, or maybe they should know less about him. Just thinking about it all...
-Another problem, you have trees that are growing on lava rock. Despite the high levels of nutrients in lava rock, there is no way a tree could take root, which is maybe why the roots are sticking out of the ground, but it doesn't change the fact that the rock is solid.
-The first NPC outside that I talked to said "It's cold in this town. I'm not old enough to know why though." How is it cold with all this damned lava around?
-The fire in the old man's house is coming out of the fireplace. It could burn the house, but w/e.
-Whoa, I was fighting the slime, and the equipment window popped up before the fight started!
-The old man was walking down the stairs, you might want to just make him not walk down all the way.
-Change some of the default graphics for Mog's menus...
-Stimulants are axes in icons. weird!
-You don't need to abbreviate the shopkeeper's name...There is enough for Armory Shopkeeper
-The little girl who enters the old man's shop wants sweets, but apparently she doesn't leave the fire. You have potential to make your NPCs dynamic! Make the boy ask "Where did she go in a hurry?" and maybe add a line for the little girl that reads, "Where did he go? I told him to come with me!" or something...
-Oh, you should change the sprite for the Armory shopkeeper as well, you don't want twins in your town, right?
First Dungeon/Maps
-All of a sudden we are in the underground? Weird
-Your teleports could be under the player, so maybe they step on it and it works!
-Another note, the equipment list keeps popping up when entering battles. Check your scripts for inconsistencies!
-Your items descriptions aren't fitting the screen, try to chop them down.
-Your items names are funny...'Stronger' Steel Staff
-The staff I bought, I couldn't even equip...
-Surprisingly, your dungeon has intuitive design...by that I mean it could piss the player off trying to figure out where to go!
-Maybe work on your tilesets, they look funky, but they kinda fit...
-ARGHGHH, is what they both say.. maybe they could say: "AHHHHHHHHHH!" since you scared each other, not stabbed.
-Stop using your emotes so much. They are starting to annoy even me!  :tongue: :crazy: :pissed:
-"Yes I am. Have you come to see why I was missing?" sounds like they sent you to find out why, then just return. Maybe it could read, "Yes I am. Have you come to take me back to the village? I know I've been gone a while, but I'm not ready to leave yet!"
-"Yes. I'm a hero, aren't I?" No, your not a hero, you are THE hero!
-More emotes...AHHHHH...
-*cough*women*cough* <- don't expect lesbians to like this too much.
-"..." and the exclamation emote don't work together.
-Ok, ice monster makes the town surrounded by lava cold...uhhh?
-"Forget who's mission  it is! Lets go before..." who's should be whose and Lets could be Let's.
-Wow, great battle, it was actually a challenge!
End of demo
-Your credits should be disposed of if the player hits select over again.
-I like the "debug room" feel, could use more options in the future!

Overall: 6.5/10
Your story is a great concept, but there are still a lot of issues and details to be worked out. I find your characters somewhat flat, but the interactions between Sophia and Hamstt in the end of the demo was OK at best. Music is OK, you should take off that dark noise all the time, it can get kind of annoying. The maps are OK, but your choice in tilesets could be better, try finding someone who has some good sets, it will make your game look a lot better. I think your strong points are your battle system, your menus...pretty much anything that you put in via script...Honestly if you removed that, it wouldn't be too much...Oh, and the particle animation system is a nice touch too.

Keep it up, and this could shape up to be a decent game! I hope I've helped in some small way, rather than pissing you off, or discouraging you. It's not my intention. My intention is to make people make better games, or at least know what better games are all about, having played so many in my time. Not only that, but a lot of topics, major ones anyways, always need to start somewhere...

Good luck!

Hey I know you mean it in a good way. I'm glad you reviewed my demo because like you said it will help me. Thanks much I oknow there are some errors and that but I sort of forgot. The lava, the trees, the water and rain all in the same place have a connection. They are all on 'Destroyed Space'. Which means that the normal laws of nature don't apply. I'm gonna have to make that more apparant :S Plus I am taking everyones points into account unless they are just to piss me off

P.S
Some of your review even made me laugh. :D