I've never written anything for
someone, or anything on the subject of love, for that matter (it's a scary and touchy subject).
But I've just Thomas Nashe's
Choise of Valentines, also known as
The Merrie Ballad of Nashe His Dildo for the good sir Lord Strange.
It's a pornographic poem, but still a good one and pretty funny all around. I highly recommend anyone who's never read to do so; it's a bit clunky to read (the spelling and stuff isn't modern), but it's still a fun read. You can check it out at
Wikisource.
The poem revolves around a man (the narrator) who is in search of his Jill and her "sanctuary" (i.e.: vagina) to see if she would be his valentine. The beginning makes heavy use of religious overtones to contrast them with the bawdy undertones (it was considerably more hilarious back then, considering the importance of religion and the rigidity, seriousness and gravity that pervaded officialdom, a place where laughter had been exiled). And so, as "a pilgrim", he goes off to seek the "oratory" (i.e.: some sort of prostitute shop or house or w/e), but must first pay his "offertory" before gaining access to the inner sanctuary.
Unfortunately, premature ejaculation occurs, the man tries to talk his penis into getting back to work but in vain; so the poor woman gets out her dildo, at which point begins a warning to all men, to beware of the dildo who will no doubt replace penises all over the world, thanks to his incredible endurance.
I liked it; I don't know how much others will, but I think it's still worth reading. It gains much more weight and importance when contextualized.
