Unnamed game for now (Give it a read <3)

[Mr. M]

Intro

Well hello hbgames.org, I've been cooking up a concept for a game for a week or so, and I think I'm ready to lay it out as a fully-developed ... concept. For now at least. I haven't decided on names for almost anything yet, and I'm going to save that for way later.

Spoiler: Concept

I'm a level 99 Internet-lurker, and from all of the years I've watched RPGmaker games get started, who knows how many even get finished? The concept for my game is gameplay first, simple development aspects, and a story that doesn't take itself too serious, but at the same time is interesting. Basically a game based on the characters, their adventure, and cool gameplay.

Also, I want to intentionally avoid some cliches, and also incorporate aspects of fantasy, modern, and scifi RPG's. You won't see mechs fighting mages, but I want to add some flavor like a cowboy town in the middle of feudal japanland type thing.

Spoiler: Game aspects

-Side view, turn based battle system
-Elements and status effects are going to be more effective then most games, but at the same time there are going to be less amount of status effects.
-Runes (temp name) that you equip. Similar to classes, where as you level so does the rune, giving you skills, and techniques.
-Simple but cool animations
-World map similar to Final Fantasy Tactics, or Grandia II. Choose your destination on the map the little characters moves, but no actual walking like FF6 or something.
-Each destination has a theme, and it's own specific little story. For example, a fishing village, that recently had some greedy bastards build a giant theme park next to it, attracting all kinds of random tourists. I'm going to get way more creative then this.
-Bunch of side quests, and interesting characters around the world.
-Tactical War minigames in certain places, similar to the Suikoden series
-Treasures to be found, won, and bought all around the world. Range from items to collect, relics to equip, or items to decorate around your base.
-Going to have some some kind of floating ship that also serves as your base. Gets upgraded, and also maybe some kind of decoration aspect. Not 100% sure of the details I'm going to incorporate.

Spoiler: Story

I'm not much of a writer, so I decided I would approach the story by having the main story not be 100% of the focus of the game. The backstory, history, etc, would be saved as something that I would maybe add into the game if it made sense at the end of production. Having this huge epic game is cool and all but I want a more light hearted, funny, cool story, based on the characters and their adventure. Of course though, there is going to be a main story, but more to give the characters and villains a reason why theyre doing what theyre doing.

I'm leaving the story intentionally vague, with not much details, because it isn't the "main" part of the game, and also so I can come back and change smaller details later to shape it around the actual cool parts of the game

Basically, the world of ____, has 2 prominent "kingdoms", with a bunch of towns and cities spread around the world. There are 2 major continents which oppose each other, with some smaller islands spreading off the tips of each continents. The 2 main kingdoms oppose each other, and have been fighting for a very long time, for land/revenge (or so you think).

The main characters, after the intro where they join forces, are going to a town close by the ruins they just found treasure in, to trade, when the East army takes over the town. The main character and party, fight back alongside the town and win, due to the forces being pretty small, for a small town. The solders of the west kingdom stationed there are ordered to take them to get rewarded at the West castle. The party gets swept up in the war and are hired to fight the East kingdom as mercenaries, which they agree to due to the opportunity of treasure and adventure across the sea. Eventually some things are revealed about the west kingdom, and of course since your party knows the truth + other reasons, decide to do something about it.

This chunk of text above is the basic main plot for half way through the game or so, and due to avoiding spoilers/giving myself time to really think about it, I'm not going to post the rest up right now.

Spoiler: Characters

Most of the backstory for the characters will be revealed in game, rather then having the player read intros and bios and etc

Main Character
Name: Undecided for now
Age: 21 (maybe)
Story:
____ is a treasure hunter living on the south tip of the west continent, searching the mountains with (best friend) for treasure. He's pretty skilled with a long sword (of course), which was taught to him by his deceased father. His father and (best friends) father were treasure hunters before, so in a way theyre just keeping the tradition.

He's basically a normal guy, with neutral views. He's always had pretty bad luck, which he puts tons of effort to get away from. He hate's taking chances and risks, which is why he makes sure to be the best, rather then rely on hope and effort. He likes to have fun, and he's generally a cheerful person.

He's not an orphan, I promise he's not the chosen one, he's not a silent protagonist, and lastly he's not FIGHTING FOR HIS FRIENDS!/love/to save the world.

Best friend
Name: To be decided
Age: 22 (older then main character)
Story:
Best friend and ____ have been friends since birth. Their parents traveled together, and made a living by finding and selling ancient relics/treasures/etc. Best friend and ____ partnership is very simple. He handles the money aspect, and ____ handles the killing of the big baddies, but best friend is definitely not a chump. His weapons are a short sword, and a dagger, but he's also skilled in hand to hand fighting.

Best friend is care free guy, who enjoys kickin back and taking the easy way, except when it comes to money or women. He's not some chump though, and definitely fights for what he believes in. Basically _____ treasure hunts for the adventure, and best friend treasure hunts of the treasure.

He's meant to create some of the comedic aspects of the game, but at the same time pushes _____ forward to accomplishing some of the things later in the game. Also I understand he might be a bit cliche, but I'm planning on there being some twists and turns of course.

The girl
Name: Who knows for now
Age: 19
Story:
The girl is also a treasure hunter, but until the game begins ___ and best friend don't know her. They happen to meet after a turn of events when they all happened to be investigating the same ruins. She wields a lance or a spear, not sure yet. Havnt decided

The girl is meant to be kind of a more powerful, individual character rather then the annoying stupid weak mage love interest of most RPG's. She has an attitude of "I want it all" and tries to get it all. She's similar to the main character in the way that she'd rather avoid chance and she relies on herself rather then others. Also, for some reason, she thinks things like ugly children, and baby vicious animals are cute.

Cute mascot type character
Name: Dunno
Age: Who knows
Story:
Main character and gang awake him in the ruins they explore, and he decides to follow them. He looks like a small floating head (or something, I havnt really decided yet).

He starts off pretty naive, and innocent, but as the game goes on he kind of grows up in a way. He was originally awaked by best friend, so at first he follows him like a son, but eventually they become more of rivals or something due to best friend not wanting to have anything to do with a floating magical head. Also the girl thinks hes the cutest thing ever. (which he isnt)

Later on in the game, he gets powers to create several different bodies, which youll be able to change in game.


-Rivals

General of West Army
Name: Not sure
Age: 25
Story:
The general is basically the right hand man of the king. He decides all matters of "less" importance. He's an intelligent man, and very powerful. He used to be a peasant, but through sheer cunning and will power, he climbed up the ranks, and rose to the second highest command at the youngest age in their history. The people trust him very much, and there are rumors that he might marry the princess.

At first he basically seems like he's jealous of the praise that the king gives the party, but he also realizes this is beneath him and is actually the one that suggests to hire you and send you to the west kingdom.

-Prince of the East Army
Name: Not sure
Age: 19
Story:
He is the prince of the east army, but hates the idea of his status, due to the people always have been opposed to monarchy and other ideas that are similar to customs of the west kingdom. He tries to live up to the people though, and tries to sway his father into doing what the people want. He is also one of the commanders in the East army. He wields a katana.

He's more of the quiet, cool, bad ass type of character. At the same time he's also very vulnerable, and selfless, which he keeps hidden from most people. Growing up royalty he was treated very different from the suck ups around him, with almost no true friends. It's something he hated and why he tries to fight for the lower people of the kingdom, due to their honesty.

Spoiler: Setting

West Continent: Basic forests, plains, and to the south it starts to become a bit drier and mountainous. To the north there lies a fairly large hilly island covered in snow.

The West, Wind Kingdom: Similar to a normal fantasy castle twosn, with horses, crowns, `etc, but with modern things like basic electronics, but not much. Based on the concept of hard work and honesty. Ruled by an old powerful king, whom his people love.

East Continent: Starting at the south is very rocky, and going north becomes more and more mountainous, eventually having tons of volcanos and stuff like that. Most people live inside of the dormant volcanos, or underground. To the north the continent starts to get very broken up into tons of tropical islands.

The East, Fire Kingdom: A kingdom built on the side of a dormant volcano. They're more modern/futuristic in design, and you start to move away from the cliche fantasy RPG stuff once you get to this part of the game.

South of the map: Some islands breaking off of the mountainous region of the west continent, that are a bit hilly, but mainly deserts.

North of the map: Islands stretching out of the east continent. There are many ruins from past civilizations.

Alright well I've been typing up things that have been swirling around my brain for about 2 weeks so theres a 99% chance I forgot some things, so for now I'm going to rest, and cook some food. I'll add more stuff as I remember it.

I'm pretty much looking for any comments or criticism. Anything at all.

Thanks a lot to anyone that actually ends up reading my walls of text

 

[dadevvtsvre]

No comments? That simply will not do! D:

It's really great that your primary goal is gameplay. So many people focus too much on story and as a result, their gameplay lacks. Many people seem to forget that gameplay is what makes the game FUN - if we want to hear a great story, we'll read a book.

I can't say the whole "2 kingdoms at war" thing is the most original premise ever, but as the story isn't the main focus I won't complain too much about it.

The main character at the moment seems a little bland, although you have managed to avoid most cliches typical of video game protagonists. I'm afraid that his neutral views and avoidance of taking risks might make him a boring character. Based on my (admittedly limited) knowledge of characters, if you want a strong, memorable protagonist, perhaps you should try and at least give him some sort of bias, even if it is something like having the tendency to root for the bad guys. That way, you can show a change in character throughout the game, so that by the end he'll have changed significantly and be a better person. Neutral characters tend to be boring, although I'm sort of harping on you for a relatively minor detail here.

I'm not a big fan of the "cute mascot character", as they tend to get old fast and eventually are more annoying. Yours seems to go through a change in character though and has actual development in his personality. As long as he's there to serve a purpose and isn't purely for comic relief purpsese, then by all means keep him.

Your gameplay elements sound pretty good, although be wary of having both a tactical battle system and a side-view battle system. I'm not familiar with Suikoden, but as long as the tactical battles don't play a big part in the game you should be alright. Confusion tends to arise when two radically different battle systems are used in the same game.

-Each destination has a theme, and it's own specific little story. For example, a fishing village, that recently had some greedy bastards build a giant theme park next to it, attracting all kinds of random tourists. I'm going to get way more creative then this.

I like this a lot. Often times, little side plots like your fishing village can make a game come alive, and make the world you've created seem like a living, breathing place. By all means, go for this, although keep in mind the side quests should never take prevalence over the main plot!

Most of my tips you probably know already, but I hope some of my advice comes in handy for you. Just keep those things in mind and I think this could be an enjoyable game. Good luck!

 

[Mr. M]

First, I want to say thanks a lot for the comment! I kind of took the lack of response, as my idea being dumb haha.

And yeah the 2 kingdoms at war is meant to be a cliche beginning to the story, but theres a big twist semi-early into the game, which I mean it might also be kind of cliche in a way, but at the same time its not. I'm leaving it vague on purpose for now.

My goal with the story is to make it cool, interesting, epic, exciting, all that, but at the same time in a simple way. A lot of the stories I've seen around went for the epic to emulate a game or show they saw, but the thing is those people had paid professional writer to build up all the backstory and stuff.

And thanks for the feedback on the main character. You make some good points. I'm definitely going to think of a way to flip him out of being neutral for sure.

With the mascot type character, I was thinking of more how theres always a little cute bunny or something, but for me it's going to be an ugly floating skull or something .. in a way, the exact opposite of the cliche.

What I was thinking, was to combine the little side plots, into the main plot, but in subtle ways, so that they dont take prevalence at all. I havn't actually come up with much yet, but I'm taking my time with this.

Thanks for the comments and critiques!

One of these days I'm going to put up prototypes of the designs I have for the world map, some of the characters, rewrite some of the details, and add some more stuff.

Thanks

 

[Crystalgate]

It looks to me that what you have here is framework, but very little flesh. The framework looks solid enough though.

Let's start with the main character. Unless you pull a Vaan (Final Fantasy XII) it will to a large extent be his goals and struggle to achieve these goals which drives the plot forward. What you want is for those goals to interest the player as well. Considering that so far his goals seem to be finding treasures (even if mainly for the sake of adventure) you got some thinking to do here. First, ask yourself how you can make finding treasure something that interests the player as well. Consider starting with providing a reason to why there even are enough treasures lying around to make treasure hunter a viable career choice. Second, maybe you should give him additional desires as well.

You should make sure the girl is competent. Considering that she wants a lot, she need to be able to provide as well, else there's a risk the player gets annoyed and starts to wonder why the main character isn't kicking her out. Note that with making her competent it's not enough to say that she is a skilled treasure hunter and fighter, you will have to show it as well.

The general of the west army seems way to young to have worked himself up from a peasant rank. Even if he was twice as old and just recently became a general it would still be testament of his competence. Realize that peasants don't have access to arms and tactics training prior to joining the army meaning nobles would have a huge advantage even if the king promotes according to competence and not lineage.

Mostly though, I think you need to start fleshing things out.