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The Outer Sanctum

I'm working on composing an entirely original soundtrack to the game I'm working on at the moment, and I just finished a short piece meant to fit with an ancient, torch-lit temple. I'm ready to consider it finished, but I was wondering if there were any suggestions anyone had to offer as far as improving it goes. After working with a piece for a while, I tend to lose perspective... so tell me what you think:
The Outer Sanctum.
 
I really like this piece; it conveys the mood very well. I especially like when the strings get the melody at around 1:20. One thing I that I would change is the volume of the choir as it is pretty loud and dominates the flute. The only other thing is the little chromatic passage at the end of each two measure phrase in the harp sounds a little out of place in this piece. I'm not sure of what I would do to change it, perhaps just keep the run in the mode that you're using.
 
Thanks Urza. Yeah, I kinda see what you mean when it comes to the choir bit. I wanted it to be a fairly strong presence, but I guess I ended up making it a bit too strong. As far as the chromatic bit on the harp at the end though, that feels a bit like a personal taste call to me. My music theory teacher describes the wholetone scale as having a bit of a "floating" sound to it, and the chromatic scale has a bit of a similar feel (since both are a repeated pattern of intervals, major seconds and minor [?] seconds respectively). And since the beginning is mostly using the wholetone scale for the melody, I figured I'd sort of mirror that feeling later on with that little chromatic bit. Of course, if it stands out as out of place to a few other people, then I might decide to mess with it a little. It might just be me... I did have a pretty big day yesterday after all, and I'm pretty tired.
 
Take out the string part in the beginning. I don't think it fits for the type of place you're trying to go for and it brings the piece down. Other than that, everything sounds awesome and I have nothing to say! I love this.
 
I really like it a lot, it fits certain areas very well. I think that the strings sound out of place a little bit, especially when the chanting gives it a different feel that the strings kind of clash with. I'm certain not a professional, but that's just what I think.
All in all though, it's very good.
Are we allowed to use this... or is it just for your game?
Just wondering.
 

Shizu

Sponsor

Very Acient, Cavey, and what I like is that you put power to the instruments, so it sounds more alive than dull. Lene's right about the beginning string, though not that it shouldn't be there, maybe it could be somewhat lower to anticipate the high part of the song. Other than that, splendid!
 

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