The Cycle: Fighting the Regime

[Phoenix]

The Cycle
Fighting the Regime

"The Cycle...
It ruined my life. It ruined what happened to me, what never happened to me...the Cycle...
The one rule. The one rule that is supposed to protect us.
I live in the present..what some may consider the past, and others the future...
The Cycle..to prevent us from altering anything else than the present.
My story is about time travel. About the Cycle.
You may already be very familiar with the Cycle..."

Long ago, when the universe was starting, there were beings known as the Chronos Dragons, also known as the Chronos. Along with the Earthen and the Vivian Clan, other supreme deities, they decided to create the universe. The Earthen created space; the Vivian created perception; and the Chronos created Time. Knowing that Time would be tampered with eventually, as they did see everything that would be, they decided to put a special rule known as the Time Paradox into the timestream, supposedly solving any problems. The Time Paradox..also known as the Cycle.

Fast forward several thousands of years.

YOU are Alex, the young, silent hero of a Revolutionary group that is fighting the Regime, a
corrupt government [that apparently bludgeons people to death with baseball bats]. While attending a regular meeting, you discover that one of your partners, Clyde, has discovered time travel and is intending to use it to stop the Regime. However, the method has a lot of problems; the rule known as the Cycle, put into place by the inventors of time, the Chronos, may destroy the universe if not followed to the dot...Are you up to the challenge? Can you destroy the Regime?




DOWNLOAD
http://www.mediafire.com/?ybxzcmxv3t9

This uses the RPGVX Sideview Battle System, which I did not make.
Also, the credits say I am PKMNEmerald: This is my Youtube account, as I am putting videos of this game up on Youtube.
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[ebhz.Ash.4rm]

Got to 2:34 and I still hadn't laughed, the script was stale and the voice acting didn't help, I heard a lot of mic blowing and it just wasn't good acting. Mapping has the lots of room problem, you should make them smaller and fill them with things rather than just having floor tiles.

Characters where cliché but not in a good way, they tried to be funny but failed because you just don't get wit or humour, it seemed so forced, they were talking about a plan and then tried to make a joke, joke fail, talking about the resistance, tried to make a joke, joke fail. If your script is merely a cycle of that it's not funny. If you want it to be funny then you need a serious script with a clear storyline and then you drop in humour here and there, I doubt you can make every text box make me roll around on the floor laughing till my arse falls off, it's just not gonna happen, and because you tried so hard it just failed harder.

You can name the silent hero and yet the voice acting says his name, do a Suikoden and just leave his name out, put a he or something. Oh God the last line in the video was awful.

 

[Phoenix]

Got to 2:34 and I still hadn't laughed, the script was stale and the voice acting didn't help, I heard a lot of mic blowing and it just wasn't good acting. Mapping has the lots of room problem, you should make them smaller and fill them with things rather than just having floor tiles.

Characters where cliché but not in a good way, they tried to be funny but failed because you just don't get wit or humour, it seemed so forced, they were talking about a plan and then tried to make a joke, joke fail, talking about the resistance, tried to make a joke, joke fail. If your script is merely a cycle of that it's not funny. If you want it to be funny then you need a serious script with a clear storyline and then you drop in humour here and there, I doubt you can make every text box make me roll around on the floor laughing till my arse falls off, it's just not gonna happen, and because you tried so hard it just failed harder.

You can name the silent hero and yet the voice acting says his name, do a Suikoden and just leave his name out, put a he or something. Oh God the last line in the video was awful.

Hmm. Ouch. Wasn't expecting this kinda review for the first post. Thought someone woulda liked it by now. The voice acting isn't in the game, just so you know. I can try revising the script.

I'll admit that some of the older viewers might not find this as funny as I thought it was. It's funny in the way that an Abridged series is funny, or the level of ridiculous you might find in a Nickelodeon cartoon, which was why I was reluctant to post this here first (I.E, the board with the highest level of criticism). However, I think that the things that you might get are later on in the game, because I make some very clever (IMO) references to other things in this game.

 

[ebhz.Ash.4rm]

I think that's what needs to be done, you should look around at how to create comedy scripts, I haven't tried and haven't looked around for this so I don't know how but what you have now isn't working. I dunno I say you get more feedback on it so you know what on a whole people think, there might be some parts that would work if it wasn't trying to be so overbearingly funny, who knows, I don't.

 

[Phoenix]

I think that's what needs to be done, you should look around at how to create comedy scripts, I haven't tried and haven't looked around for this so I don't know how but what you have now isn't working. I dunno I say you get more feedback on it so you know what on a whole people think, there might be some parts that would work if it wasn't trying to be so overbearingly funny, who knows, I don't.

I think that's a good idea..but I still think that at least some of my humor would work.

 

[Phoenix]

New release. I altered some of the text so it doesn't suck so bad.

Also: Sorry about the double post, I just realized that. I already reported myself to get rid of it.

 

[ebhz.Ash.4rm]

You're allowed to bump when you're making updates.

 

[Guest]

;D