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The Chest of Souls

The Chest of Souls



History of Nysiis


Age of Discovery


The very beginning of life on Nysiis (Planet the game takes place on) was a time of primitive inventions and discoveries. The intelligent races began to mingle and ally, the Elves and Humans were natural allies. Both stood roughly the same height (Human males a few inches taller), similar features, and similar intelligence. Both were primitive and thus genetic ideals were limited. The Dwarves remained to themselves, despising Elves and Human height with a typical shortman's complex. Their inner mountain and underground lifestyle, which was a sharp contrast to Elven forest and Human over-world preferences, served to only further this boundary, although no hostilities arouse between the peaceful Elves and Dwarves. Humans, however, envied the Dwarfs long lives and architectural skill but just like the Elves, they remained peaceful. The Kendrid(Small thief-like race, roughly same height as Dwarves but much slimmer and agile) wouldn't be discovered until boats powerful enough to reach Billow(Island north of the Super-Continent Magosterre) were created.

Age of Might {Magic-Users spell language}

The start of this age began as soon as the Great (soon to become)Wizard Fistandries created the first Sorcery Tower(Tower Par{of}-Thatis{Beginning}) near the Ice Wall at the southernmost tip of Magosterre. He was the first to discover Magic and coincidentally became the greatest Mage in history. In that Tower he taught fellow humans, and no other race, how to become Magic users. However, Magic is a very powerful tool to master. Those who did not pass The Trials(A massive compilation of internal/external struggles created and cast upon the pupils to separate the weak from the strong) died trying. The Dwarves and Elves were outraged by this(The Kendrid were still in ignorant bliss, though they wouldn't have cared anyways) self-proclaimed superiority the Humans showed. The Dwarves and the Elves allied themselves and threatened war upon the Human Magic users and those who supported them. They drove out humans in the Western part of Magosterre and the land became known as the Plains of Tears as many humans were separated from family and some lost their lives, tensions rose. Thus began the Sorcery Wars.

Sorcery Wars

The Humans and their Magic fought the Elves and Dwarves, both sides were amazed and frightened by the sheer power the Magic users possessed. Although they must study and rest constantly the spells that were more than enough to cause fear. The Elves kept their distance using marksman aim and the Dwarves built powerful fortifications to protect against the Magic. But both tactics were defensive and so the Humans were able to push the Elves into the massive forest(Which has been the Elves home ever since) of Qualinyth and the Dwarves into the mountain ranges of Tharbiden(Which has been the Dwarves home ever since). The Dwarves compiled the best craftsman and created the Gate of Tharbidin which blended in the mountains perfectly once closed. This and the the already massive mountain ranges of Tharbiden effectively sealed off the smaller west-side of Magosterre from the bigger(Mostly Human occupied) westside. Bitter hostilities remained between the races. Fistandries, realizing his mistakes, created a new tower(Tower Par Neutrality) in the center of Magosterre and declared both towers would train all races. Hostilities still remained and the humans began to distrust Magic-Users from seeing both their power and their willingness to accept those they just fought. Fistandries was branded a traitor, he was tried for execution but he fled to a small tip of the western part of Magosterre, untouched by the Elves, using his magic to disguise himself. He brought a handful of other "traitorous Mages" with him. Here they created the final Tower(Tower Par Fistandries) and the Wall Par Might around the land now called Par{Of}-Panthles{Refuge}. The remaining mages defended Tower Par Neutrality but Tower Par-Thatis fell to the human soldiers. The human soldiers who destroyed the towers(One of whom was named Antony Uth Sturm, and he is a hero among the Knights) were branded heroes and so the hometown of the soldiers, Isami, was declared a holy city. And the soldiers became the first Knights of Isami, who trained the finest men to become fellow Knights. They made their fortress south of Isami and just north of the destroyed tower, they named it Par{Of}-Peli{Mockery/ Mocking} to spite the Mages. They destroyed tower was filled with undead spirits bound to protect the ruins in the afterlife. The Knights built an unnamed wall connecting the mountain ranges just east of Par-Peli to the Ice Wall just south. Only entrance to Par-Peli was through the North as mountains and oceans covered the east. Tower Par-Neutrality was left untouched after seeing the horrors of Tower Par-Thatis.

The Kendrid arrived in Port Theo at Cape Peak. Humans, seeing them as only nuisances and not threats, allowed them access to their lands. The Kendrid may be annoying but were charming. They made their way throughout Dwarven and Elven lands with ease although both had hidden entrances. They were accepted but not supported. The Kendrid were just happy to see new land.

The Smiting

The "Holy City" of Isami angered the Gods. They worshiped Humans who killed off Magic users, and magic was the essence of the Gods. The God of Good(Paladine) fought the God of Evil(Narcius). Paladine reminded Narcius They promised to remain out of mortal affairs but Narcius and Her hot-temper seeked revenge. Unbeknownst to Paladine, She sent a meteor towards Nysiis. Paladine went to intervene but Narcius reminded him to remain out of mortal affairs, Paladine wept. Paladine soon broke the oath and sent Dragons to Fistandries(who used Magic to pass the normal Human age limits) who knew what must be done. Narcius was outraged and planned to seek revenge on Paladine. The other races became aware of the meteor much after the Mages had already coordinated a plan to stop the certain destruction of Nysiis. However, the Mages used this to their advantage and planned to gain support and return to power as they did in the Age of Might. So the most powerful Mages flew upon the Dragons high into the sky and began casting power spells to breaks up the meteor. As chunks of rock flew they would cast spells to slow down its velocity while less powerful Mages rode with the dragons to grab the rocks and dump them into the ocean. But the Mages were too few in number and most passed out in exhaustion while the meteor was only halfway destroyed. Now Fistandries and his two most powerful pupils planned one final act of sacrifice to save the ungrateful people of Nysiis. They cast their most powerful spell at a weak point in the meteor causing it to split in two. Fistandries told the two Pupils to slow down the larger chunk of rock with all their life's energy while he would do the do the same to the smaller rock. And so they did killing themselves in the process, while their Dragons realizing their masters' death flew into the rock in an upward motion at top speed, killimg themselves while simultaneously slowing the rocks velocity. The meteors hit, the smaller one partially hitting the Elven Home and the larger one directly upon Isami, ending the Kingdom of Isami. The races blamed the Mages, saying they could've stopped the meteor but intended to punish them instead. Once again the Mages fled to Par-Panthles. The Elves blamed the Human city Isami for angering the Gods(The only force who could cause "giant mountains" to rain upon Nysiis), the Humans disregarded the Elves opinion and the Dwarves(And Kendrid) remained Neutral.

The larger crater cut off the North eastern tip of Magosterre, it is unknown what happened to the Port Cities. Barbarians and cannibals keep anyone (Even Kendrid)from entering the crater, and the Knights keep anyone from exiting. The wall around the crater(that isn't surrounded by mountains) is heavily guarded. Only one gate, The Gate Of No Return, was built.

Narcius' Army (Present Day~Near future)

Paladine, upon seeing the chaos, removed his dragons from Nysiis while Narcius ceased Her opportunity. From the Lakes founded by the larger meteor's impact She created a new race, Mortimyer(7foot reptile like creatures). These Mortimyer were foul and hated, but their vast numbers and strict ideals persuaded the Human stragglers of the Kingdom of Isami to wage genocide upon the Elves: "for blaming you unjustly, any Mages who don't support us, and anyone who tries to stop you! Even fellow Humans!" The Mages were too strong for humans to deny their help. Although, the only Mages who will join the Mortimyer and their Human allies where those who worshiped Narcius. The Lakes and the Human-Mortimyer territory were named the Lakes of Rebirth and the Kingdom of Rebirth, respectively. The humans in the south cities (The forest town, Haven; the city of Yenny, just east of the Gates of Tharbiden; Asanin, north of the Ice Wall; and Par-Peli, the Knights of Isami's capital) were unaware of the northern human plans. But, they were curious, to where these new creatures came from... The Tower Par Neutrality remained open(the other one was impossible to reach), although very, very few took the Trials.

Par Peli, Knights of Islami's Fortress, remained (although their numbers were scarce). They were still respected, but they would find the upcoming genocide of the Elves against their strict code of conduct. Thus, they would fight against Narcius' Army, with the Elves.

Story

The story begins with a vision which awakens Dessius. He's been having visions lately but this is the first one he remembers. He decides to visit Madam Eve, a local fortune teller. After a few more visions it is apparent that Haven will be attacked. Dessius is convinced to head to Majid, seeing as he planned to enlist in their army anyways. On the way a brief altercation between you and a group of Mortimyers, who've murdered a guard, transpires. Two Knights of Isami come to your aide. Seeing a fair fight, the Mortimyers leave. One night leaves after an argument between the three of you. The other Knight is also traveling to Majid. You both decide to travel together.

Along the way to Majid you set-up camp. Dessius has another vision which reveals a deity is in fact possessing him, although he forgets the vision when he awakes. When you arrive to the outskirts of Majid you discover it's gates are closed. You gain access only by convincing the leading commander you plan to enlist yourself amongst his ranks. However, you are not allowed to leave until you actually do so, which Dessius considers. Brutus convinces Dessius they should travel until they are forced to part ways (He is unwilling to join, and plans to stop Dessius from joining). In Majid you meet the woman mercenary who greeted you on the outskirts of Majid. She has found a way and wishes to cause chaos in Majid before she is discovered. You tell her you will help her if she can guarantee Brutus a way to leave the city. an agreement is made, and you plan to meet by a guarded alleyway. She and her companion cause a distraction and flee from the chasing guards meanwhile Dessius and Brutus sneak into the alleyway.

The alleyway is heavily guarded and requires you to sneak pst the guards. Once inside you eavesdrop on officers debriefing battle plans and learn of the Kingdom Rebirth's attack. They plan to attack several cities whose Governors don't approve of them, the first on the list is Haven, the battles are already underway. Next up is Yenny, seeing that it's too late for Haven. After some convincing from Brutus Dessius agrees it is wrong and plan to go to Yenny and look for fellow fighters to put up a resistance. You meet up back with the woman mercenary and tell her of these plans. She helps you both escape. However, the guards chasing you meet up with Lord Solis and his personal guard. You manage to flee before being discovered.

This is as far into the game I've completed. Beyond this point is the baseline of story.

They reach Yenny and consult the Governors and he informs his Guard. Citizens are evacuated in boats across the Yenny Bay where they head into Asanin. Asanin has been known for it's alliance with the Knights of Isami. Yenny is successfully defended, but the Council of Rebirth(Leaders of the Kingdom of Rebirth) is hellbent on controlling the town and sends a much larger force to conquer it. Scouts learn of this and the main characters in Yenny meet up with Dessius and Brutus. They embark on a secret journey to find help from the Dwarves and Elves.

They travel to the Tharbiden using Rudif's help, Rudif was banished from Tharbiden(Why he left). The Dwarves want nothing of Human/Elven affairs, the companions travel to the Elven home, meeting Fistan in the Plain of Tears. They arrive at the Elven forest. They gain support by the Elves, barely, only Fistan's logic(and "Magical influence") persuades them to ally. Next stop, Par Panthles. Fistan shows them a secret entrance in the Wall of Might, they fight Undead Spirits in the preceding Forest (Well, Filodoxio and Fistan do), one of which "kills" Fistan.

They arrive at the Mage City looking for alliance. The city is in Civil war. Paladine worshipers vs. Narcius worshipers, Neutral Mages striving to keep order. Filodoxio wishes to remain and help out his fellow Neutral Mages, his brother stays with him. Fistan returns and leads them into the Tower of Fistandries, here they find a large metal chest. Fistan explains the chest cannot be opened without a key. The Key is somewhere in the ruins of Isami. It was stolen from the mages during the Sorcery Wars, and lost during The Smiting. He would not explain what the chests contents were (They are the souls of Dragons, which can overpower a Dragon's specific nature, Evil or Good, Narcius or Paladine, and instead follow its master, whoever Controls the souls). Whomever this key belongs to, will single handily control the War. Naturally, they head to the Ruins of Isami, Crater Olympic.

Characters and NPC's

Main Characters
Name: Dessius
Race: Human
Age: 26
Greedy and skilled swordsman. Often disregards death and what's right in favor of monetary gain. Changes after seeing the atrocities of war and the wisdom of his friends.

A somewhat young mercenary who grew up in the Forest Town of Haven, currently living there still. His father died in a Elf-Human skirmish that followed The Smiting. His mother died giving birth to him. These tragic deaths play a part in his cold nature. Rumors of a Kingdom establishing new world order sparked his interest. Seeing only money in the equation, he plans a travel to Majid, looking for enlistment of his valuable sword skills.

Name: Brutus Uto Creig
Race: Human
Age: 31
Serious, strict ethics, thinks with his head, honorable, stubborn but obedient.

An experienced soldier and Knight of Isami, who has fought many Elf-Human skirmishes following The Smiting. Naturally, he was born in Par-Peli. He has since been on a journey to Haven in hopes of recruiting soldiers for the dwindling Knights. His surname Uto Creig is a custom of patronymics the Knights of Isami use. Uto, as in male, Creig, as in his late father's first name. Uta would imply a female who would still use her father's first name. His father and mother still live in Par-Peli.

Name: Filodoxio Tantha (Filodox to Humans)
Race: Half-Elf
Age: 79 (He's part Elf!)
Sardonic, bitter, man of harsh but truthful words. Easily reads people, manipulative, hard to read. Seems he would betray everyone to further his magic but in actuality it is quite the opposite, very wise(even if it is unwanted at times).

Approximately 25 in human years he is one of few Elven Mages in the history of Nysiis. Possessing an ambition usually only seen in humans, it is inferred that The Trials were too much for his slender Elf frame. He is weak and fragile in physical aspects but a destined strong and powerful Mage. Constantly overcome by coughing spasms and his physical state may play a part to his bitter, sarcastic, and often sardonic personality. His half-brother, an Elf Melanthas, is his soul protector in a land where only the strong flourish.

Name: Melanthas Tantha (Melanth to Humans)
Race: Elf
Age: 77
Protective over Rudif and his brother, tall and strong for an Elf(even for a Human), gullible, light hearted, honorable.

Practically (half)twin of Filodoxio, according to Elven customs, he shares a strong protective bond for his half brother. Born of the same father the difference is their mother. Filodoxio's mother(Who lived in a village untouched in the Plain of Tears) seduced their father, Elisionas. Due to the shorter pregnancy human woman have compared to Elven woman (Human- 9 Months, Elven- 2 Years), the unnamed human mother gave birth to Filodoxio while Melanthas' mother, Silanthas, was still pregnant. The human mother dropped the bastard half-elf at Elisionas' doorstep and left their life forever. Silanthas discovered her husband's adultery and divorced him once Melanthas was 75, as is Elven custom. Elisionas was never the same, and so Filodoxio and Melanthas soon left, befriending a Dwarven Guard, Rudif Forgeember, who led them through Tharbiden and its Gates where they traveled to Yenny.

Name: Rudif Forgeember
Race: Dwarf
Age: 122 (He's a Dwarf!)
Stubborn, compassionate, fond of architecture, loyal to the brothers, distrustful of Isami Knights(Due to their hatred of Elves). Fond of Kendrids although he won't admit it, humorous in an unintentional way.

Friend of the Tanthas, he has been that ever since. Dwarves were not uncommon in the city of Yenny, as Yenny was close to Tharbiden and Dwarves were neutral during this time. He has prevented many fights between the Humans and the brothers, especially Melanthas who didn't have human blood to disguise him. Is a great blacksmith, even by Dwarven standards, it is unknown why he left Tharbiden to accompany the brothers. They joke that Filodoxio threatened to burn his beard off but only Rudif knows of the dark history that he was forced to leave, using the brothers as a Dwarven scapegoat(Legitimate excuse).

Rudif was banished from the Dwarven Kingdom shortly after meeting the Tantha brothers. He told stories of the Kingdom of Rebirth and was discovered leading the Tantha brothers through Tharbiden into the human lands, a great breech in Dwarven secrecy and neutrality which is essential in the growing hostile lands. He was banished and so rejoined the brothers in Yenny, claiming his debts to Tharbiden were gone and so he was theirs now.

Name: Klepio
Race: Kendrid
Age: Unknown
Light hearted, immune to fear, adventurous, annoying, talkative, energetic, very loyal to the whole party(Unusual for a Kendrid).

Kendrid never keep track of their age, it only hinders their eternal quest of discovery. Living in Yenny ever since his discovery of Dwarves, he spends his day annoying the townsfolk with his stories and enjoying the Dwarven skills. He seems to take a liking to one Dwarf especially, one who enjoys his stories even though he may deny it. One Dwarf who accompanies a Human and Elf.

Name: Fistan
Race: Human(Is really Paladine)
Age: He's a God!
Funny in a cynial old man way, often has fights with inanimate objects, generates a powerful aura, seriousness, and wisdom when needed. Him and Klepio get along great(Klepio is the one who "names" him), often forgets his name and his powers, seems to suffer from Alzheimer's Disease- poor thing.

Takes the form of a cynial old man who helps the companions in their mission driven by fate. His aid is limited as to not arouse suspicion from Narcius. He comes and goes at key points, dying or "losing" himself amongst the companions journey.

NPC's

Name: Scribes
Race: Human
Age: 60+
Wise and knowledgeable historians. Found in libraries in each city.

You meet the first Scribe as Dessius in Haven. He tells you to seek out his fellow Scribes in each city he visits. They provide the player with background information. (All of which can be seen in this thread)

Name: Madam Eve
Race: Human
Age: 60+
Fortuneteller of Haven. Has known Dessius since he was a boy and often guessed of his future.

The reason why Dessius decides to travel to Majid earlier than planned. She is very wise and can indirectly read the minds of people through their exp​ressions and words.

Name: Lord Solis
Race: Death Knight
Age: Born during the Sorcery Wars
Leader of the Death Knights (fallen Knights who've become evil and stay so, even in death).

Not much is known about Lord Solis' dark history. He was born during the Sorcery Wars and became one of the first Knights of Isami, however, no recollection of him will be found in their archives as all Death Knights are disowned and their history and family's history is burned. He was in the battalion of Knights that destroyed Tower Par Thatis, and he, along with a handful of other Knights, could not escape the spirits which haunted the Tower's ruins. It is here where he became the first Death Knight, and those Knights that did not turn evil died a very slow and painful death. About three other Death Knights emerged with Lord solis, and their ranks have been growing ever since. (Around 100-200 Death Knights occupy Magosterre, all serve the Kingdom of Rebirth).

Name: Her Majesty/Dark Lord
Race: Human
Age: Unknown
Leader of the Kingdom of Rebirth. Immense magical abilities. Reigns over Lord Solis.

Narcius in human form. She has been creating Mortimyers as additional troops for he army. Plans to control all of Magosterre, and, eventually, all of Nysiis as a means of revenge on Paladine for thwarting her plans to destroy Nysiis with a giant meteor. She is the only one Lord Solis will obey.

Main Races

Humans:
Much like humans of earth, they are short lived, moderately powerful, and very lustful of power. They posses an over-whelming sense of love that no other race can understand. Tend to think with their heart in all the right times although their heart can be perverted and corrupted. Most of the mages are humans.

Elves:
Generally slightly thinner and shorter than humans the Elves have plenty of unique traits. They are excellent marksman and posses uncanning woodlore. Greatly venerate all life including plants and trees. They can easily live 100 years, most making it to 150 before feeling the effects of age. Very self-superior, they tend to regard themselves smarter than all others, sometimes correctly as seen in the Smiting. (Yes it was the Humans' fault!)

Dwarves:
Short and stocky, often grumble and complain of old age(Grandfather-esque) even though most Dwarves live up to 300 years of age. Undoubtedly the best stone, wood, mason, etc. craftsman in all the lands. Very stubborn, although they have great compassion in their heart underneath the long beards and wide chests.

Kendrid:
Where to start? Very thief like(Just don't call them that!), have a knack of "borrowing" things. Very manipulative in an innocent childlike way. Slightly taller yet more slender than the Dwarf. Masters at lock-picking and stealth. Live about 100 years.

Mortimyer:
A good foot and 50 pounds larger than the average human these reptile like beasts have just shown their ugly mugs upon the misfortune Nysiis and her people. As strong a full grown man in his prime these beasts prove to be excellent fighters. Smarter than one would think, these creatures posses a few. . . disturbing. . . qualities. . . Their spit is of acid, as is there blood. Can't fly but can glide with their ineffective wings. But most disturbing, their ability to talk to each other -and Dragons- through a language no other race can learn, thus, they must be distant relatives of Dragons... Explaining their appearance among other things.

Dragons:
Creatures of enormous might, both physical and magical! Their are different breeds of Dragons each with their own special abilities. For one, all Dragons inflict terror upon all but the Mortimyers. The Red Dragon's breath is of fire, Black's of acid, Green's of poison mist, White's of ice, Blue's of lightning. But Dragon's haven't been seen since The Smiting...

Features and Screenshots

Sideview battle system
Spellbooks and Magic language
Ccoa's UMS
Overworld Map

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http://www.mediafire.com/?lm5rmqwolyr
http://www.mediafire.com/?lm5rmqwolyr
 
Looks like no one has posted on either of our games yet so I thought I'd leave you a comment. The story is looking good but it's so much to read. Anyways I'm impressed with your mapping and you are using a sideview battlesystem too which is great. I will download your game. Download mine if you want...
 
obsorber":lf4eyax6 said:
Looks like no one has posted on either of our games yet so I thought I'd leave you a comment. The story is looking good but it's so much to read. Anyways I'm impressed with your mapping and you are using a sideview battlesystem too which is great. I will download your game. Download mine if you want...

Thank you for posting. Could you link your thread for me, please?
 
When I read the 4th and 5th two sentence, I already thought, this is gonna be a mediocre game, so I did not download the demo.
The story isn't extremely fancy, but it's ok.
I have some things that bothered me or irritated me a bit:
From your character descriptions it is not clear, why Dessius and the guy who helps him, have the same goals and why they would team up. If you mention that they have similar goals then you should explain/name them as well.
On their way they do puzzles....that's fine, because I'm guessing that's what you want to use to keep the player interested and entertained, but please, why would they do a lot of puzzles really. Missing reason again. I'm only pointing this out, because having a dungeon or whatever just for the sake of a puzzle is stupid.
If the puzzle has nothing to do with the story, leave it out. But if you make something up, that combines the reason why there is a puzzle to solve, with the actual story then that would be really good!
And there sure is a lot of travelling going on. I hope you keep in mind that while your protagonists travel, the world does not stand still. The world around them does progress as well. While your group travels from location A to location B, those evil guys could have destroyed multiple cities already.
The key issue. I dont mind they go searching for it, but how come those elfs waited for your heroes to go find the key, if they knew where it is all along?
They are quite stupid to not use this item that can "change the world". Same with the "villains". They sure have no idea of the key...
Dessius thinks with his heart AND his head? That was a bit wierd to me, considering it's kinda contradictory. Also he's 24 and ends up as a "wise" leader...
That's so unrealistic. I guess he is also the main protagonist? He's quite boring. There is nothing about him really. No interesting character trait at all.
I didn't mind ready everything at all. This just shows that you are creative and thought things through. I liked the history part. All in all it was a bit predictable though, like elves living in the woods and dwarves in mountain areas, would have wished for some twists there, but that's not so bad.
I hope I could point out some things that you can maybe think about again xD

Good luck with this.
 
Lune de la Cruor":3658ykqs said:
When I read the 4th and 5th two sentence, I already thought, this is gonna be a mediocre game, so I did not download the demo.
The story isn't extremely fancy, but it's ok.
I have some things that bothered me or irritated me a bit:
From your character descriptions it is not clear, why Dessius and the guy who helps him, have the same goals and why they would team up. If you mention that they have similar goals then you should explain/name them as well.
On their way they do puzzles....that's fine, because I'm guessing that's what you want to use to keep the player interested and entertained, but please, why would they do a lot of puzzles really. Missing reason again. I'm only pointing this out, because having a dungeon or whatever just for the sake of a puzzle is stupid.
If the puzzle has nothing to do with the story, leave it out. But if you make something up, that combines the reason why there is a puzzle to solve, with the actual story then that would be really good!
And there sure is a lot of travelling going on. I hope you keep in mind that while your protagonists travel, the world does not stand still. The world around them does progress as well. While your group travels from location A to location B, those evil guys could have destroyed multiple cities already.
The key issue. I dont mind they go searching for it, but how come those elfs waited for your heroes to go find the key, if they knew where it is all along?
They are quite stupid to not use this item that can "change the world". Same with the "villains". They sure have no idea of the key...
Dessius thinks with his heart AND his head? That was a bit wierd to me, considering it's kinda contradictory. Also he's 24 and ends up as a "wise" leader...
That's so unrealistic. I guess he is also the main protagonist? He's quite boring. There is nothing about him really. No interesting character trait at all.
I didn't mind ready everything at all. This just shows that you are creative and thought things through. I liked the history part. All in all it was a bit predictable though, like elves living in the woods and dwarves in mountain areas, would have wished for some twists there, but that's not so bad.
I hope I could point out some things that you can maybe think about again xD

Good luck with this.

Dessius and Brutus both head to Majid for different reasons. They head together because traveling alone is more dangerous. The puzzles are relevant and you won't do the first one until you are actually in Majid. No one, I repeat no one, knows about the Key, which is quite clear in the first minute of my game. The only reasons your party finds out about the key is due to Fistan who is a Deity playing a mortal. Dessius is dynamic. At first he only thinks in terms of greed and money but changes gradually.

It really irks me when people criticize parts of my game that are explained inside of my game. Your whole post seemed dedicated to invalidate any reasons to play my game and I do not appreciate that.
 
pandemikk":35pj4o40 said:
Dessius and Brutus both head to Majid for different reasons.
Well I can't know that if you write the opposite in your story!
pandemikk":35pj4o40 said:
You both discover you have same goals, decide to travel together.

pandemikk":35pj4o40 said:
It really irks me when people criticize parts of my game that are explained inside of my game. Your whole post seemed dedicated to invalidate any reasons to play my game and I do not appreciate that.
If your posted story and character descriptions aren't appealing to me I won't play your game, indeed.
So I was basically pointing out the points that lead to this non-appeal. I wanted to give you some suggestions, but if you can't appreaciate an opinion then that's too bad.
 
I don't see any suggestions. All I see is:

"If this is the case, then you should do this"

If you have any real suggestions for me I'd be happy to listen to them. But I think you'd have to play the game first, which, as you've said, you aren't willing to do.
 
Soo, I just played the demo...and I feel I kinda proofed myself I was right, with the things I already pointed out. I'm not even gonna bother suggesting things, since you don't appreciate it anyway.
I had 2 bugs, first was, wehn you leave the inn in Majid, you get teleported out of a house in Haven and then you are stuck there, because you get that screen with the goblin creatures again...so I had to load again.
2nd one is with the guards. When you get too close to one of the first ones then they don't go back into their original starting position, but keep moving from there and thus the two guards don't walk next to each other anymore, making it impossible to pass them.
This is where I gave up anyway, because I could not pass the last guard to get to the house at the lower right.(I guessed that was where I was supossed to go).
There was a lot of guessing of what to do.
First, when I talked to the lady in the library, and she told me to go to Majid...but she didn't even tell me why! To uncover the meaning of my dream, yea great, but do I have to go to anyone specific, probably not, I just go there and then I know why I had this dream. So I guessed I go back to my house(I found it wierd I own a house and just abandon it).Then you meet Brutius and the other one. And what does Brutius say?
I quote:
Oh? May I ask where you are planning to go?
Majid.
So you're not alone. . .
I, too, am going to Majid, and while our goals
may be contrary I'm sure traveling together
would be safer than traveling alone.
They didn't even talk about goals! They only do that later at the fire...
But anyways....the NPC are terribly boring and at the moment only place holders...Just like the houses etc...
I expected the first areas to be finished, it is maybe a bit early for a demo then.

Once in Majid, you are left guessing again. You got access(way too easy by the way, anyone can claim to be a mercanary and get in really...)
So what to do in the city, I went exploring again, talking to the dull NPCs and suddenly you meet the woman who for no reason helps you?!? That was so unreasonable and just hard to understand why she would do that.
So haha funny, the guard next to the ones who followed the woman just lets you pass, very unrealistic, but maybe it was for the comedy factor.
I was very puzzled, because I didn't know what to do, there was no goal...I went to the other map, cuz there was no place else to go and then came the guards thinbgy...but really the story was not present there. I did not understand what I had to do, well better said, what for I had to do it.
Also it was wierd that Brutus still followed me, even though he reached his goal of getting to Majid. So really from there the story was missing.
Your mapping is quite nice, some tilesets errors here and there with items that are placed on tables, but I guess you already know that.
I did not even bother killing monsters, because there was no reason for it really.(despite them being in my way >_>)
So at the moment, the demo does not benefit your project, because of the lack of story. And to close with something positive, the intro was nice.
 
Thank-you.

I'll fix those bugs and add in some more dialogue. I'll upload a new demo soon. Hopefully it will be up to snuff.

edit: Any ideas on how I could make the NPC's less boring?

edit2: When you entered the outskirts of Majid did a woman talk to you? The very same in the Inn was supposed to talk to you as soon as you entered the map.


I do feel badly about my earlier rudeness. Sometimes it can be difficult to respond to feed on your work appropriately. I apologize.
 
UPDATE!


The update I've been telling you about has been released a little bit earlier. Reason being I'm going to be gone for the weekend. This new update includes closer to many plot holes, many bug/glitch fixes, at least 30 minutes more gameplay and exciting new cutscenes.

Some bugs/glitches still out there:

In the second camp vision you can mess up the player's position corresponding to the events, if you try hard enough. If you walk normally it should be okay. Just give a few seconds after each clone lost to be safe.

The new battle system messes up the screen-tone.

The new battle system overdrive isn't yet functional (Not really a bug, but a resuylt of releasing this earlier).


feel free to post suggestions or tell me of any bugs/glitches.
 

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