Sure why not. Opinions and criticism welcome.

[Mascarpone]

So while i'm never good with deadlines, i figured i'de jump into this silly pencil art contest. Why not right? It gives me somthing to do.

Spoiler

http://img159.imageshack.us/img159/6385/tempsx6.jpg[/img]

She's a work in progress, her names Aurellie and she's been the leading lady in a story i've been on-and-off doing for ages (She's on an RMXP game design document i have lurking around too i just need to.. you know... GET support and team work and stuff...)

the swirly things are meant to be moon energy or somthing of a similar nature. needs an element right?

 

[Devon Jacobs]

Good start, needs detail on the dress though, like sway lines and shading.

 

[Mascarpone]

we're getting there :P she needs the bottom of her legs too. :D

 

[ZephyrSkye]

Her arms look kinda funky. Maybe it's because the sleeves are hanging upward, like there's zero gravity on her sleeves only.

 

[Mascarpone]

<snicker> you know it's amazing how you don't notice simpel problems with your own work. Cant abuse my uncle's scanner anymore so i'll have to put up an updated version in a day or 2. being on vacation is inconvinient... relaxing but inconvinient.

 

[mawk]

<snicker> you know it's amazing how you don't notice simpel problems with your own work.

Look at me, I am Miek. I am a dumb person who misconstrues benign comments and gets PM feuds called on him. : P

Work on defining shapes a little more. The lines look almost clumsy -- I know this isn't an amazing bit of criticism, but it's been bugging me.

 

[sharksweetheart]

<snicker> you know it's amazing how you don't notice simpel problems with your own work.

This is no way to take criticism.

I read it as though he meant "your" in the general sense, and was implying he didn't notice these simple problems (anti-gravity sleeves etc) in his own work.

 

[Mascarpone]

thank you for reading it correctly shark.

thank you for going out of your way to try and snipe me red :D

perhaps in the fuuture i should be gramaticaly correct and say "in one's art."

now where's that all important criticism i was looking for?

 

[sharksweetheart]

Well it seems to be in a very early stage, I don't think there's much more criticism to give at this point.

 

[Mascarpone]

right then. onwards and upwards.

 

[Luminier]

Ok, whether, or not Miek was indeed incorrect in the way he construed your comment, you are really out of line. The next time you are unnecessarily rude to a moderator(not saying that you specifically were in this case) you will be warned. Got that, slick?

 

[Despain]

what.

her head is HUGE. like you have her face, and then BOOM she has a BULB on the top

her arms also seem freakishly long. this will be more evident when you scale down the bulbhead (not the face, the face seems to be an ok proportion) a bit

 

[Mascarpone]

noted thank you.

 

[Darksydaz]

lol... that's interesting... i guess i'll give two comments... if one doesn't mind... just my only take on it... (perhaps this comment should be in another forum... heh)

Actually i like the picture... her arms are a little long in anatomy cases... (by like maybe 1/4th an inch if that's a full sheet of paper...) and that dress is freakishly huge... tho, i would like to see it when it doesn't have any shading done to it... tho it's really hard to say from a rough sketch like that... so my critique would be shorten the arms and you should be in business...

*on a side note... i didn't know other pokemon other than Lucario had a move called double team... heh, i never knew words misconscruted like that would have an backlash effect on the members... perhaps i should watch what i say also...*

 

[Gulch666]

i really like the belt buckle and side, ribbon/flapper things

dont really have much to critique that hasnt been said, its rough, ill wait for an update and chime in with some critique

 

[mawk]

Ergh. :x

Formal apology, then.

Sorry for misunderstanding your post, Mascarpone. Given my state of mind at the time and the context of the rest of your recent posts, it was an easy mistake to make. I'll be more diligent in the future.

thank you for going out of your way to try and snipe me red :D

No problem. Thank you for taking a giant leap backward just when I had started to change my mind about you.

 

[SakuraPhoenix]

I think there is something wrong with her frame, near her feet, and her arms. Like the anatomy isn't right.  I Can't put my finger on it. I understand it is a WIP or sketch but it seems like it's not up to your calibre? Idk the way you critique art made it seem you are there at a refined level yourself, no offense. It's all my fault for that perception, one should never assume. You may want to revisit some of the threads that you offered advice in and store them for recall as you redo this, I am sure the next one will be fantastic 

 

[Mascarpone]

I'm better at bitching then i am preforming honestly but i know my limitations. And this isn't particularly fabulous i'll be revisiting it. Probably a do-over.

you are correct though i do hold myself to very high standards. I don't complete / share allot of work for that reason. It's not a good habit.

 

[Xcelled]

That belt buckle is sweet lol. Yeah I agree about the anatomy, fix the anatomy it looks like you just drew her without any guides. It may be hard to place the bottom of her legs now. It also seems like the dress is that big because you weren't sure where or how to draw her lower body. The dress is cool though, but if its gonna be that big its gotta have some great detailing. Make sure your not guessing on your outside folds namely the sleeves, the dress could also use more exaggerated folding in my opinion, right now it just has slight curved lines.