so this is the most important decision of my life.

[Ellie]

I don't know if I've said too much or too little about myself over the years, but judging by the way people talk to and about me, things have got muddled up along the way. I haven't gone by the nickname Wyatt for a long time now (a really long time) and there is a reason for that. "Amy" isn't for attention, for a laugh, or a persona. (Well, it's a persona in the sense that I am not literally Wyatt; amy is nothing but a nickname).

My name is Danielle. That is my name, and who I am. We can talk about that, it's fine, I just want to make it clear.

And, to make it clearer, Danielle is not the name which appears on my birth certificate or legal documentation. That is another name, which I do not use, and is not me, in the same way I am not Wyatt.

...I'm typing this on my kindle so it may be typo riddled and such, sorry.

In short, a job has come up. Only a job application, nothing more, but with my qualifications and experience I believe I have a very good chance of getting an interview. It's a stepping stone to my ideal job, and it's at the ideal company.

But.

The decision I am trying to make is this: who applies, Wyatt or amy?

The decision I've made already, I just cannot get myself to submit to it. This will be the first time Danielle has applied for a job. The difference in names in my legal docs will be handled with a polite letter to HR; to my employer, in my interview, and to me, I shall be Danielle.

To get a stable job and hold it, as amy not Wyatt, would simply change my life, nay, save my life. And I really think I stand a great chance. I just need to do this.

So, why am I posting this publicly, when there is no room for discussion?

...I don't know. Because I'm struggling. Because even though I know this is what I HAVE to do, it is not going to be easy. And because I'm scared.

...

And, really, that because I know a lot of assumptions shave been made a shared about me I'd like to actually talk. Maybe have an "ask me anything" .

The reason this has took so long to post is because I'm feeling like I'm taking over the forums lately, and am really not good at personal threads. I'm sorry if it seems that way. Ill keep everything here, not in pwoym or other places. Keep it tidy, and keep everything personal to this thread.

And if it turns out actually hbgames didn't know... about me, well, now you do! Or don't, because I'm still being ambiguous.

Ask me anything.

 

[Jason]

Is this because you feel like a woman trapped in a guys body, so while your real birth name is Daniel, you feel like Danielle, and are wanting to send off the application as Danielle?

 

[Ellie]

...basically, yes.

 

[Jason]

What's the job by the way? Anything exciting?

 

[Ellie]

Pretty exciting but I can't really say here. It's in the games industry however.

If I got it it would be a catalyst to so many other things. I'd be moving to another county, having my own house, able to afford a car, and other liberties that come with that.

With my degree and experience it's pretty much the logical next step, rather than being stuck in this retail job that I only took for the experience. I'm essentially cross dressing at the moment, dressing up as a boy to go to work...

 

[Jason]

Aww you can't tell us? That's gay! You're so gay!

But that sounds cool... you should definitely go for it...

 

[Ellie]

The only person in the county that would know my background would be HR, which is a pretty big deal. The company are respectable and very liberal so I don't think ill have any issues at all, if I get the interview.

I likely won't get the JOB. But I am reasonably confident that I will get the interview. It's almost too perfect a post, everything I've done up until now has gone towards it.

 

[Stardust]

This is the time to be honest with yourself. The age of dishonesty with ourselves and, consequently, with everyone around us, is ending. So go for it and think positive and it'll happen! ;3

From a manager's perspective, having someone come to them, confident in who they are, says a lot. If you're willing to stick yourself out there like that, you won't be afraid to take risks and chances when you feel they're important. Not all managers are able to keep their personal feelings out of the way, but that's their problem (and means they're not a very good manager).

Either way, you'll feel amazing.
I've been there, and trust me on this one! <3

 

[Injury]

What's wrong with using an alias, or being legally recognized as whoever you desire? I had this conversation with Potion a while ago. Wyatt > Wyattina > Amy > Whatever you want!

I don't know the Equal Opportunity laws of the UK, but I still think it doesn't matter what you are called or how you carry yourself, so long as your of sound (mostly sound) moral character and get the job done. I don't look at anyone differently until they push their beliefs on me or someone else. If they don't trust in your character, then it might not be a good place to work at, or you just need to explain your situation.

Go for it! YOU CAN DO IT!

Also, if you need someone to talk to, don't hesitate!

 

[Perihelion]

I actually didn't realize you were officially trans. Sorry if I've been using the wrong pronoun!

As for your situation, if you want to live as a woman full-time, go for it. Are you planning on legally changing your name at some point? That might make things easier in the future. Also, just out of curiosity, are you on hormones, or do you want to be?

 

[Pokémaniac]

If you plan to have the job in the long term, then it makes sense to start as Danielle than to introduce yourself otherwise and then change name/pronoun years down the track. But you have every right to be terrified. I hope everything goes well for you, Amy! ^.^

 

[LiquidMetal91]

Be who you want to be, not who they want you to be :heart:
Jobs (and interviews) come and go, but if your not feeling happy with yourself than nothing will really make you feel at ease.
I say, go as Amy / Danielle. Its just a (official) name change right? You're not someone else all of a sudden.

 

[Byron]

Amy! Be confident.
You are a great person, no matter what person you decide to be. Just because you are Danielle, doesn't mean you're not you.
Wyatt, Amy, Daniel, Danielle are all parts of you. Parts of your life, you've become a great person and a huge pillar in this forum. Your eagerness to game design has been displayed in keeping such a small community of (lazy) indy game devs alive and provided with content while also working on your own projects. We all think you're great and deserve this more than anyone. You need to make piece with yourself. Not only do you need to do this, you want to do it. Put your fears behind you and break free into the places you want to go!
We'll all be here to support you. Good or bad.
:heart: :heart: :heart: :heart: :heart: :heart: GO AMY! :heart: :heart: :heart: :heart: :heart: :heart:

 

[noise shaman]

put your real name on the application and paperwork because it's your legal name, and you dont want anything to seem fishy when they do the background check and that kind of stuff that most major employees do as part of the serious hiring process.

save the "danielle" stuff until you get an interview, to be safe. who knows—it might help. plenty of companies these days are itching to fill their lgbt quotas.

 

[coyotecraft]

My sister works in human resources. She sometimes gets calls from the IRS because people get married/divorced and assume the everyone will know that their names changed.

 

[Erichermit]

If Amy / Danielle is who you feel you are, that is who you should go as.

 

[Dr. Funk]

"Trust your feelings, Luke."

In other words I believe you should go about this however makes you feel best. As long as you are fully confident and content with your decision, I call it a good one.

Also, you'll always be wyatt in my head.