So my step-brothers child was aborted..

[Sauk]

I don't even know what I should be feeling at the moment because I'm in such shock.

My step-brother had impregnated his girlfriend about 3 months ago, and just found out last month. I could see that he was extremely excited to be a father. Whenever I'd go over he'd be talking to his girlfriends belly and was going to be buying a crib and make a room and stuff.

Apparently last night his girlfriend had an abortion behind his back. I've never seen him so crushed in his life. We went over today, and he was drunk off his ass and spent most of the time crying in the bathroom.

Cliffs:
- Step brother impregnates girlfriend
- He finds out, and is excited
- About to buy crib and make a room for his child
- Girlfriend has an abortion behind his back
- Depressed

 

[Perihelion]

I think this is too serious to go in the Rec Room, so I'm gonna move it over to Gen Discussion. Don't want people shitting on this. :\ I'm sorry to hear that, anyway.

 

[Sauk]

I think this is too serious to go in the Rec Room, so I'm gonna move it over to Gen Discussion. Don't want people shitting on this. :\ I'm sorry to hear that, anyway.

Thank you, and I'm sorry for posting in the wrong section.

 

[dadevvtsvre]

Oh geez. That sucks dude, I'm really sorry to hear that. Abortions aren't easy, to say the least. I wish I could say something a little more helpful but here's to hoping things get better, anyway.

 

[Sauk]

Oh geez. That sucks dude, I'm really sorry to hear that. Abortions aren't easy, to say the least. I wish I could say something a little more helpful but here's to hoping things get better, anyway.

Thanks for your condolences Devy, it does mean a lot to know that people care .

I just don't know how to take it.. like, I'm good with death and all, but I just don't agree with taking a life before it's been given a chance to experience it. I don't know, it was shitty on her part to do it behind his back.


Thanks again .

 

[Daxis]

Oh geez. That sucks dude, I'm really sorry to hear that. Abortions aren't easy, to say the least. I wish I could say something a little more helpful but here's to hoping things get better, anyway.

Thanks for your condolences Devy, it does mean a lot to know that people care .

I just don't know how to take it.. like, I'm good with death and all, but I just don't agree with taking a life before it's been given a chance to experience it. I don't know, it was shitty on her part to do it behind his back.


Thanks again .

sorry to be an ass, but killing a life before it has a chance to explore it instantly reminded me of eating an egg.
I'm sick like that.
however, good luck on cheering up and all. Not much else to say, sorry.

 

[Sauk]

Oh geez. That sucks dude, I'm really sorry to hear that. Abortions aren't easy, to say the least. I wish I could say something a little more helpful but here's to hoping things get better, anyway.

Thanks for your condolences Devy, it does mean a lot to know that people care .

I just don't know how to take it.. like, I'm good with death and all, but I just don't agree with taking a life before it's been given a chance to experience it. I don't know, it was shitty on her part to do it behind his back.


Thanks again .

sorry to be an ass, but killing a life before it has a chance to explore it instantly reminded me of eating an egg.
I'm sick like that.
however, good luck on cheering up and all. Not much else to say, sorry.

Thank you for your condolences, I appreciate it.

That's the same reason why I don't eat eggs lol.

 

[Ellie]

I don't know what to think to be honest. I mean, it is her body and her right to do what she wants, but is it? Is the baby really a part of her, or her and your step-brother? Regardless, it really sucks that she felt need to go behind his back, I think the father has to at least know about these things.

This sort of thing gives me a headache from a moral standpoint but I just know ifI was in the same situation I'd be pretty heartbroken.

 

[Glitchfinder]

Wow. That's the kind of thing that warrants a breakup. You don't do that behind someone's back, especially when they're that excited to learn of it.

As for the egg thing, I have to say this. It is pretty much guaranteed that the eggs you find in stores have never been fertilized. The reason I say that is because the chickens are kept far away from the roosters (who are generally raised then killed for food). In other words, the only possible way for one of the store-bought eggs to be fertilized would be self-conception. (Which does happen occasionally. It would produce a clone of the mother)

 

[busbuzz]

Theres nothing worse than losing a baby, even if its only an illusion (the baby is not here yet) when someone is happy to become a father is very strong to find out these kind of things. my best friend lost his son before he was born too, in another way but still is the same. it has been the most difficult sittuation in his life. he tatooed a phoenix on his shoulder to remind him of his son. so basically what the tatoo tells us about what he feels is that no matter what he still cant believe he lost it.

Give him a big hug. Make him a nice dinner and try to make him smile.

 

[JoshieBoy]

What pisses me off is that she went behind his back. I mean, that's just like splitting the bill with someone for a car that is supposed to be both of yours and finding out later that the dude you split it with sold it on craigslist. There should be a law against this kind of crap.

 

[Sauk]

Sorry I've been away, thank you all for your condolences .

What I don't get is how the female decides the outcome with both situations.

Like for instance, say the mother wants abort but the father doesn't; she's allowed to abort the child no matter what. However, if the mother wants to keep the child and the father doesn't; He's stuck with paying child support. IMO they should make abortion illegal and give people 2 strikes for having unprotected sex leading to conceiving a baby ( if they're not suited to be parents / under-age ), and if their 2 strikes are used, then they have to have their reproductive organs snipped/tied and their babies adopted out.

 

[bacon]

The female get to decide mainly because the baby is in her body. The man doesnt have to go through pregnancy. This is where things get iffy and somewhat biased. Since the woman is the carrier of the baby, she technically has ownership of it because she is carrying it. This is the interpretation I get from the law at least. You also have to account for people with one-night stands, rape and stuff like that. You really can't get approval from the man if you cannot find the man. I guess its the man's duty to not get a girl pregnant unless wanted and the woman has no part in the man's decision. the law isnt perfect by anymeans, but you also have to take into account all the other options and variables and I guess this is the middle ground.

Anyways, how is your brother doing o:?

 

[Sauk]

The female get to decide mainly because the baby is in her body. The man doesnt have to go through pregnancy. This is where things get iffy and somewhat biased. Since the woman is the carrier of the baby, she technically has ownership of it because she is carrying it. This is the interpretation I get from the law at least. You also have to account for people with one-night stands, rape and stuff like that. You really can't get approval from the man if you cannot find the man. I guess its the man's duty to not get a girl pregnant unless wanted and the woman has no part in the man's decision. the law isnt perfect by anymeans, but you also have to take into account all the other options and variables and I guess this is the middle ground.

Anyways, how is your brother doing o:?

Not all that good, he's really deep in alcohol and I saw scars on one of his wrists.

Apparently he's going in to counselling or something to try and straighten himself out.

 

[Aolist]

Before anything else, because I am going to go off on a pro-choice rant now and it's the most important (and on-topic) part of the post: My concolences to your step-brother. While I'm going to start whiteknighting for his girlfriend now because that's how I roll it's a still very horrible thing to have happen to you and while I think she had the right to do it, it wasn't the right thing to do at all.

If you were only interested in the condolences (and I don't mean this in a confrontational way. It's a horrible situation and I wouldn't blame you if you just wanted 'I'm sorry this shit had to happen to someone you're close to') then feel free to stop reading here and ignore my soapboxing.

In response to joshuaalanhargreaves: define 'this kind of crap'. A law against woman defying the wishes of men? A law saying that abortion requires the permission of the potential father? A law that replaces all communication in relationships with signed contracts? I hope you see how all of these are problematic. Your analogy's pretty terrible, too.

As bacon said, abortion is really in the hands of the woman because whether she carries the child to birth or decides to abort it's still something significant and potentially dangerous being done with her body. A woman's becoming impregnated is by no means entirely her responsibility (I think that women impregnating themselves are indeed very much in the minority!) and so 'punishing' her by making her carry a child she doesn't want (and yes, a lot of the time anti-abortion movements are as much about 'slutshaming' and punishing women for having sex as they are about protecting a fetus) is really out of order.

On the other hand while I don't question her right to abort at all the fact that he seemed to be preparing to become a father sort of suggests that communication was really lacking there. Ideally they'd have made this decision as a couple. I don't feel his 'want to have child' should have overridden her 'don't want child' but I think she really should have been honest about it from the start, or been honest about her change of heart if she changed her mind during the pregnancy. A situation like this isn't easy for either party and it really sounds like they both need the support that would have come from working their way through it together.

In short, again, she had (and should not be denied) the right to do it but that doesn't make it any less of a shitty thing to do. I hope your step-brother recovers soon.

 

[Mega Flare]

Sorry I've been away, thank you all for your condolences .

What I don't get is how the female decides the outcome with both situations.

Like for instance, say the mother wants abort but the father doesn't; she's allowed to abort the child no matter what. However, if the mother wants to keep the child and the father doesn't; He's stuck with paying child support. IMO they should make abortion illegal and give people 2 strikes for having unprotected sex leading to conceiving a baby ( if they're not suited to be parents / under-age ), and if their 2 strikes are used, then they have to have their reproductive organs snipped/tied and their babies adopted out.

the mother has the right to abort the child cause its her body and what ever she wants with it. IMO saying abortion should be illegal is fucked up. People should have th choice... taking that away is like taking away some of our freedom.

 

[Rappu]

I'm sorry for your brother.

Sorry I've been away, thank you all for your condolences .
What I don't get is how the female decides the outcome with both situations.

Like for instance, say the mother wants abort but the father doesn't; she's allowed to abort the child no matter what. However, if the mother wants to keep the child and the father doesn't; He's stuck with paying child support. IMO they should make abortion illegal and give people 2 strikes for having unprotected sex leading to conceiving a baby ( if they're not suited to be parents / under-age ), and if their 2 strikes are used, then they have to have their reproductive organs snipped/tied and their babies adopted out.

Forcible sterilization always worked so well and is so totally ethical, amirite? Taking away reproductive independance is totally okay, amirite?

Anyways. The reason why women get to decide on abortions is basically because she's the one pregnant. After a man has impregnated a woman, his work in reproduction is finished. He faces no bodily changes, he won't have to take time off from work, he won't need medical procedures concerning babies while waiting. If a man doesn't want to risk becoming a father, he can learn to use condoms, get a vasectomy and/or support scientists developing male e-pills. If he wants to become a father... Well, that's why communication and discussing these things beforehand is important.

BTW, a man doesn't have to pay child support if he gets custody and becomes the 'main parent'. And child support isn't a punishment anyway - the system is there because children figuratively eat money, and children exist because of both the mother and the father. It's only fair to make both parents support the kid, right?

 

[Sauk]

Sorry I've been away, thank you all for your condolences .

What I don't get is how the female decides the outcome with both situations.

Like for instance, say the mother wants abort but the father doesn't; she's allowed to abort the child no matter what. However, if the mother wants to keep the child and the father doesn't; He's stuck with paying child support. IMO they should make abortion illegal and give people 2 strikes for having unprotected sex leading to conceiving a baby ( if they're not suited to be parents / under-age ), and if their 2 strikes are used, then they have to have their reproductive organs snipped/tied and their babies adopted out.

the mother has the right to abort the child cause its her body and what ever she wants with it. IMO saying abortion should be illegal is fucked up. People should have th choice... taking that away is like taking away some of our freedom.

I don't feel as though a life should be taken because the woman decided to have unprotected sex ( yes, she could have said no to him not wearing a condom ). No rape charges have been issued or anything, so she obviously was in agreement to unprotected sex. How fair is that? Anyways I respect all of your opinions, I was just looking for condolences to help me feel better about the situation ( hopefully that doesn't sound selfish ).

Forcible sterilization always worked so well and is so totally ethical, amirite? Taking away reproductive independance is totally okay, amirite?

brb having sex and then aborting a child that could contribute to society ( whether or not it's positive ). If somebody was to have 2 kids when they were not ready to have children, and would rather have an abortion instead of adopting them out, then they shouldn't be allowed to have children.

The father doesn't want the child, yet has no choice in the matter. The father wants the child, but can't say shit if the woman wants an abortion, lol makes sense. On your topic about condoms, it obviously took 2 to have unprotected sex. It's not like he woke up one day and said OH BRB GOING TO HAVE FORCEFUL UNPROTECTED SEX WITH MY GF. She obviously was in agreement to unprotected sex, otherwise it would have been considered rape.

It's only fair to make both parents support the kid, right?

She doesn't want a kid but he does = abortion is okay.

She wants the kid and he doesn't = it's only fair for both parents to support the child.

Mind is blown atm.

thanks for your input I guess.

 

[moog]

bump

is this even true

 

[Jason]

Oh snap!

Jesus Brist is disappointed.

... Not about the thread.