Sira

[Maneo]

Attention:
*ONLY the first post is up to date.
Read that before you post.


-PLEASE NOTE BEFORE POSTING: No rambling about the old story and screenshots in the posts right after this one, please.
These are removed from the game.
:smile:

Synopsis:

Spoiler

Prologue

Since the dawn of time, there was never peace in the land of Sira. It is said that the angels found themselves more supreme then the humans, and the humans found themselves more supreme than the angels.  The wars and skirmishes would only end if one of the two races were to perish, but never did either stand down.  It was thought that it would be never-ending, until the humans' high intelligence overcame the angels' great power and in the year 608, the angel god was murdered.  After the plot was complete, the angels gave up to a peace treaty with the humans.  The wars stopped, although the angels' hate for the humans only grew stronger.  After 50 years of planning, the angels are making a comeback, starting with the kingdom of Rimea...

Present Time
Year 658

Sareo and Basil were summoned to go to (angel city, needs a name) to meet with the angel prince about re-instating the peace treaty.  Although they are a small party traveling on a long journey, their skills and friendship complete each other.

Once they crossed the bridge leaving Rimea, Sareo stops his horse and takes a pause staring into space, thinking.  Looking back, Basil stops as well.
“Something wrong there, Sareo?â€

 

[Sic Semper Tyranosaurus]

Oh

my

god

http://i261.photobucket.com/albums/ii55 ... 21sira.jpg[/img]

A nice forest.

IT IS NOTHING OF THE SORT.

 

[Tohsaka]

That is not custom. That is AR-TEA-PEE

 

[bashful crobat]

loll it is custom HE PUT IT TOGETHER HIMSELF

STOP BEING MEEN GUIZ >:[

 

[Magicant]

Holy fuck shit Jesus. I don't like to read so I just skipped to the screenshots. I almost wanted to go back and see if the bio was worth anything, but those screenshots slapped me in the face and said "Hey, don't read the bio dumbshit", needless to say I listened. It looks like you defecated, took a screenshot of it and used it for a map. I don't know what else to say about this.

 

[Sic Semper Tyranosaurus]

http://sennenmuffin.googlepages.com/goodjob1.jpg[/img]

Hahahahaha good job.

 

[Maneo]

I didn´t mean these sprites, there will be custom sprites.

And I do like that forest.
Then please tell me how I can make these maps better.
Give me some hints on what I can improve.

 

[Loduel]

Nice attempt, it's the only way you will learn. You should really try and improve on your mapping. There are many tutorials and examples you can find on here if you do a simple search. After you get the mapping down try and redo your story a bit and give it to some people for help and suggestions and just keep working on the basic right now and then put the whole thing together later. You're trying to jump right into making a game too fast, take your time.

I hope this didn't come off as a "You suck, give up on this game" Noone is amazing at RMXP right away, it takes some practice and time. So keep on trying and don't let people discourage you.

 

[Maneo]

Loduel: Thank you.
I will work on my mapping.

 

[Magicant]

I didn´t mean these sprites, there will be custom sprites.

And I do like that forest.
Then please tell me how I can make these maps better.
Give me some hints on what I can improve.

I didn't know forests only had like... Ohhhhh, THREE TREES?.

Suggestion on how to improve mapping? Goto the screenshots thread, look through mapping tutorials.

 

[Maneo]

Ok it´s a glade in a forest.

Call it a meadow then.

 

[Grathea]

Oh, dear god.
The mapping in this burns my eyes.
But since others have mentioned that, I'll leave that alone. No sense beating a dead horse.
...Unless you're into that sort of thing. Which I'm not.

I'll review the other aspects of this.
http://i261.photobucket.com/albums/ii55 ... /sira7.jpg[/img]
Why is Arshes/Aluxes/whatever the hell his name is looking at his own collapsed body? Is he dead? Is that why the angel is coming? Is the girl a medium? ...Where is the girl, anyways?

So, now onto the story.

War falls upon The kingdom of Rima, where the humans live.
The king calls for Sareo Sazzi, a knight determined to wipe out
any evil that might surface on the planet.

Ah, good. It's a good thing that Sareo is there to protect every single human being on the entire motherfucking planet.

One day, the king calls for Sareo, and tells him that Angel City has been attacked.
Angel City, lies in the south from Rima, and Sareo knows that a direct
conflict with the angels, might cost him his life, since angels bear powers
directly from the heavens.

Oh dear. 'But I'm afraid! Sure, killing demons and single-handedly protecting a city, great! Seeing angels, even though I'm some kind of evil-slaying justicemonger? Eeek! I'm terrified!'

The king sees Sareo´s doubts, and forces him to go to Angel City.

Oh, Sareo works for the king? That ...makes sense. Unexpected.
But still, why would he force Sareo? Is this guy the only person in the world who can swing a sword? What makes Sareo the right choice for this mission?

Sareo, his friend Basil Barett, and Rimea, a sorceress, takes off for
Angel City, that lies in the vicinity of Angel Kingdom, the most
beautiful land in the whole world.

Don't tell me. Sareo and Rimea will fall in love, and Basil is the loveable sidekick. And... Angel Kingdom? You'd think that angels would have more ingenuity. Also, why is it the most beautiful land in the world? Are angels so bored that all the demons are dead that they do gardening and city maintenance 24/7?
...Sounds real terrifying.

On the day there, love blooms between Sareo and Rimea, who has never
seen such a knight before.

Wow. What a surprise.

One night they stop to camp..
Rimea goes to sleep earlier that night.

She goes to sleep before they arrive at the camp area? Oh dear. Wouldn't that be kind of tough?

Thinking she´s in the way, he and Basil leaves her in the tent,
and takes off for an adventure beyond their wildest dreams...

What the hell? How would that make sense? They're in love, and she's a sorceress, which, given the apparent state of the kingdom's military (Sareo and ... well, no-one, apparently) just might come in handy.

What will they face in Angel Kingdom?
Who was it that attacked the angels?

Someone attacked the angels? Did they fight back with their spades and gardening supplies?

Many questions lie ahead.
Sareo will travel through Angel Kingdom, to Great City,
The island of Lantessa, The Fera fields, Rora mountain,
and the Island of Lari, before he ends his journey.

...Why? Why not just go to Angel Kingdom? And what the hell are all these places? Why would he need to go there?

Can you help him find out who did this to the angels?
Are you a knight?

No, I'm not a knight. And why should we try to find out who has done this unknown thing to these angels? And if they're so powerful, why can't they stop it?

Or could the Angel king be behind this..?

A tip? Generally, if there's a surprise twist, don't tell it to us in advance. And why would the Angel king do such a thing? Is he secretly harboring an anti-gardening vendetta?

If so, what could he be planning?

We. Don't. Know. So quit talking about it, and try to redeem this topic in your last few sentences.

Sareo has to find out why the angels was attacked, and fast.
The future of Great Kingdom depends on him.

...Redemption failed.

Also, the wizard king wants to destroy the humans, and seeks to control
all magic spirits in the world.

What? Where the fuck did this come from? Also, giant plot information like this? Not good 'oh, and also...' material.
Kind of strange.
Redemption of this topic is now beyond failure.

 

[blue_lake_1]

I like the story... the screenshots are nice...  The only thing I'd say is to youse the bridge tiles at the bottom of your screen over the mote instead of the ground/grass thing you had going on there.

 

[Xephyr]

Oh, dear god.
The mapping in this burns my eyes.
But since others have mentioned that, I'll leave that alone. No sense beating a dead horse.
...Unless you're into that sort of thing. Which I'm not.

I'll review the other aspects of this.
http://i261.photobucket.com/albums/ii55 ... /sira7.jpg[/img]
Why is Arshes/Aluxes/whatever the hell his name is looking at his own collapsed body? Is he dead? Is that why the angel is coming? Is the girl a medium? ...Where is the girl, anyways?

So, now onto the story.

War falls upon The kingdom of Rima, where the humans live.
The king calls for Sareo Sazzi, a knight determined to wipe out
any evil that might surface on the planet.

Ah, good. It's a good thing that Sareo is there to protect every single human being on the entire motherfucking planet.

One day, the king calls for Sareo, and tells him that Angel City has been attacked.
Angel City, lies in the south from Rima, and Sareo knows that a direct
conflict with the angels, might cost him his life, since angels bear powers
directly from the heavens.

Oh dear. 'But I'm afraid! Sure, killing demons and single-handedly protecting a city, great! Seeing angels, even though I'm some kind of evil-slaying justicemonger? Eeek! I'm terrified!'

The king sees Sareo´s doubts, and forces him to go to Angel City.

Oh, Sareo works for the king? That ...makes sense. Unexpected.
But still, why would he force Sareo? Is this guy the only person in the world who can swing a sword? What makes Sareo the right choice for this mission?

Sareo, his friend Basil Barett, and Rimea, a sorceress, takes off for
Angel City, that lies in the vicinity of Angel Kingdom, the most
beautiful land in the whole world.

Don't tell me. Sareo and Rimea will fall in love, and Basil is the loveable sidekick. And... Angel Kingdom? You'd think that angels would have more ingenuity. Also, why is it the most beautiful land in the world? Are angels so bored that all the demons are dead that they do gardening and city maintenance 24/7?
...Sounds real terrifying.

On the day there, love blooms between Sareo and Rimea, who has never
seen such a knight before.

Wow. What a surprise.

One night they stop to camp..
Rimea goes to sleep earlier that night.

She goes to sleep before they arrive at the camp area? Oh dear. Wouldn't that be kind of tough?

Thinking she´s in the way, he and Basil leaves her in the tent,
and takes off for an adventure beyond their wildest dreams...

What the hell? How would that make sense? They're in love, and she's a sorceress, which, given the apparent state of the kingdom's military (Sareo and ... well, no-one, apparently) just might come in handy.

What will they face in Angel Kingdom?
Who was it that attacked the angels?

Someone attacked the angels? Did they fight back with their spades and gardening supplies?

Many questions lie ahead.
Sareo will travel through Angel Kingdom, to Great City,
The island of Lantessa, The Fera fields, Rora mountain,
and the Island of Lari, before he ends his journey.

...Why? Why not just go to Angel Kingdom? And what the hell are all these places? Why would he need to go there?

Can you help him find out who did this to the angels?
Are you a knight?

No, I'm not a knight. And why should we try to find out who has done this unknown thing to these angels? And if they're so powerful, why can't they stop it?

Or could the Angel king be behind this..?

A tip? Generally, if there's a surprise twist, don't tell it to us in advance. And why would the Angel king do such a thing? Is he secretly harboring an anti-gardening vendetta?

If so, what could he be planning?

We. Don't. Know. So quit talking about it, and try to redeem this topic in your last few sentences.

Sareo has to find out why the angels was attacked, and fast.
The future of Great Kingdom depends on him.

...Redemption failed.

Also, the wizard king wants to destroy the humans, and seeks to control
all magic spirits in the world.

What? Where the fuck did this come from? Also, giant plot information like this? Not good 'oh, and also...' material.
Kind of strange.
Redemption of this topic is now beyond failure.

You are my hero.

I love you.  Havent laughed so hard on this forum since....never.

 

[Ratty524]

There is a demo of this? Ho' yeah! I'm playing!

 

[Grathea]

There's a DEMO?
Oh, prepare for a full review.
What? I was going to review a game soon anyways. Hopefully something like this guy.

EDIT:
I'd love to be able to review this, but guess what?
Five or six lines of dialog into the crappy exposition, the game shuts down.
Yeah.

 

[Ratty524]

No need to, there is barely any content with the game anyway.

And... WHAT THE HELL?

http://i78.photobucket.com/albums/j114/ ... sira-1.png[/img]
Sorry that you've been bitched about this many times, but your mapping is outright TERRIBLE. How can stumps be aligned in a square-like pattern? Add details, and make some sense out of your mapping. Checking some tutorials would help you a lot.

http://i78.photobucket.com/albums/j114/ ... sira-2.png[/img]
OH NOES! THEY'RE "THREATING" THE HUMAN RACE! By the way, this was one of THE most awkward ways to start out the game. I mean, you being on a shitty map, walk downwards, and then it starts raining and some text pops up telling me the story. Pretty horrific, don't you agree? Learn how to make a proper introduction so that people know what the game is going to be about in a GOOD way.

And...
http://i78.photobucket.com/albums/j114/ ... sira-3.png[/img]
... UGH!
And...
http://i78.photobucket.com/albums/j114/ ... sira-4.png[/img]
The game friggin' crashed on me just as soon as the intro was finished.

Seriously, let me tell you what to do:

• STOP! Halt all progress. You need to go back and fix these horrific mistakes before going on. Otherwise you are just building on a crappy game, making it even more crappy.
• Check some tutorials on game making, specifically mapping. You want to give the player something to look at, and you don't want your player to go "WHAT THE FUCK!?" on any place on your mapping.
• GET RID OF THE ILLEGAL VERSION OF RMXP. It's not only against the rules here, it's against the law. Seriously, paying 60 bucks for this isn't that big of a pain, just buy the darn thing.

 

[Maneo]

These tree stumps were arranged that way to make you walk into the event where
the text starts.
I have to learn to make an intro.

 

[mawk]

Make an Autorun event somewhere and put the text you want in there. Just make sure to turn a self switch on when the intro is over (and have a blank page that's opened by that self switch,) or it'll loop endlessly.

 

[Maneo]

I´ve got the real program now.



Miek: Thanks for the tip.

Update:
The first post has been updated.
Check it out.

-Acera remade some maps for me)
-Larynni made the title screen song I´m using.