I'm an amateur musician, a pianist. But I'm more into classical. Anyhow, I really liked your piece, but it started out too slow and ended up too fast. Have you thought about making it longer? Perhaps some simple variations on the main theme would do. I'm not an expert on the subject, my area of expertise are classical works, but I think the song should probably be two or three minutes long. Great work. Keep posting music.
Also, if posting music on HBGames.org, you should probably define whether or not people can use this music on their games, as many people here are looking for original resources. : )