Sapp Template

[Sapphire]

I tried making a template for the first time in my life...
It was a boring morning in school and I had nothing better to do, than making some stuff with paint. I decided to make a template for RMXP Games, which is supposed to be tall, but easy to sprite with.
So I tried to make it tall but very thin. One of my classmate said, it looks like someone from ethopia...what is offending, but true in a way.
So please give me C&C to my first template:

http://img230.imageshack.us/img230/1622/sapp2uj0.png[/img]

I know, there are many templates out there, but I wanted to try one myself xD
Feel free to use it for anything you like.

Some examples:
http://img259.imageshack.us/img259/1205/char1nu6.png[/img]http://img209.imageshack.us/img209/9289/emorg6.png[/img]

 

[Tassadar]

That's simply... weird? Sorry, but that's just my opinion; his torso could use some better shading, and the line he has on his head looks odd too. I suggest removing that (not the head, just the line!) Hope this helps you out

 

[Sapphire]

Well, weird is nothing bad, in my opinion xD
I really didn't know, how to shade the torso, but for me it's not too bad, because I will dress it anyway, when pixeling on it. But if you have any suggestions improving the torso's shading, I'd be pleased.
Do you mean the bright line on the back of the head? That's just supposed to be some help, when you shade the hair. To see where the head is bended.

EDIT: Tried to bend the arms more while walking up n down.

 

[Tassadar]

Whoa those guys look stiff :D You might want to bend his arms a bit more. As for the shading, try making it go with the body a bit more; get rid of some of the highlights on his upper half of the body and add some more shading on his lower half. Keep up the good work, it's definately a funny charset (not in a bad way, of course).

 

[Atnas]

He screams "Feed me!"

I think the skinniness could be better pulled off if you moved his crotch up. ^___^

(give him a crotch as well or des will be sad ;----; )

 

[sixtyandaquarter]

Behold the pumpkin king Jack Skellington's template

 

[Atnas]

Jack has longer legs and no thighs. :>

Just noticed the eyes, he looks really sad.

 

[Venetia]

I don't really like people made of noodles, but this might be able to help out a comedy game. Oh, and nix the hard black outline. But as he looks sad, I'd be sad, too, if I were made of noodles ;')

 

[bojjenclon]

yeah i suggest you bend him a little more and make him a LITTLE bit, well, fatter. But it would be good for a teen. Unfortently I don't think its rtp so I can't give you a REAL opinion. :-(

 

[Sapphire]

Thanks for your advices and comments.
I'm sorry @bojjeclon, but I won't make him fatter... he would look like a normal template but too thin, if i made him fatter. Now, he does look "too thin" on purpose and thats what I aimed for.
@Venetia: also the outlines aren't black but dark brown, I'll lighten them up and see, how it looks.

I Just wanted to use this template in a comedy game myself, but I'm glad, I got your C&C so far, it really helps me, I hope.
So, if somebody has anything further to say about it, please tell me, what you think.

 

[sixtyandaquarter]

Unless it's a dark comedy or something of the like the eyes appear off. He looks very sad too me. If it's a darker comedy, or stylized to be in that way, then they're perfect.

 

[Sapphire]

I created it for a somewhat comedy game in which you play an Emo... so it's basically to make goths and emos. So this: "If it's a darker comedy, or stylized to be in that way, then they're perfect." is very good. ^^
But I think, you could also use it for other games. I'll try and see, what I can do with it.

 

[Atnas]

The first example's thigh's/knees are weird. I dress emo but I don't stuff the thighs of my pants with socks.

Your shading is too... Plastic-ish, as well.

 

[Sen]

Here is another Example^^
http://img-up.net/img/TestcharaZNyly.png[/img]