[RMVX] The Forbidden Art

[PuppetOfFate]

~Story~
Siberius and his friend Brian are playing in the woods on a cool spring day. As they leave to return home Brian accidentally falls through a hole in the ground and lands in the caverns below. With the last signs of life leaving Brian, Siberius quickly decides to venture further into the cave to look for a way out. As he ventures farther and farther into the cave he begins to notice more and more runes and mysterious markings carved into the walls. As he nears the end he finds a stone monument written in a strange, but legible, language. He begins to read and quickly find that he may have not changed himself, but the entire world.

~Screenshots~

Spoiler

~Videos~
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ajZ1L2TMzQE
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=r_KHopIbElQ

~Scripts Featured~
Neo-Gauges by Woratana
CMS by Yanfly
Neo-Save by Woratana
Waypoints by Mundane
Extra Equipment Options by Yanfly
SDS by cmpsr2000
SBS by Enu, Krylock and Mr. Bubble
Particle System by Rei
AND...A bunch of KGC Scripts

The game will also have a normal 4 person party but party members will be interchangeable. You can either have person A or person B. After the part in the story where you must choose who you cannot go back and choose the other person.

~Progress~
Events: 1%
Maps: 4%
Characters: 30%
Scripts: 90%
Items: 0%
Weapons: 0%
Armor: 0%
Skills: 0%


~In Need Of~
(1) Eventer
(1) Spriter

~How To Contact~
Yahoo!: Finalrobo101@yahoo.com
Gmail: puppetoffate@gmail.com
MSN: PuppetOfFate@live.com
AIM: ThePuppeteer91

ALL THE LATEST NEWS ABOUT MY GAME CAN BE FOUND ON PROTOGAMING!

Demo 0.1

 

[PuppetOfFate]

August 28, 2009: Edited game discussion page to show all main characters in the game. (Party Members)

 

[PuppetOfFate]

I have a question to ask everyone who is looking forward to my game. I have just recently purchased RMXP, for the third time in total, for my laptop and am on the fence of either switching and making the game on XP or keeping it on VX. Who this VX and who thinks XP?

 

[Anaxim]

Don't start the debate about whether to switch or not. My honest opinion? Keep it in VX since you have more work accomplished there. Simple as that.
Now about your project...
You story sounds run-of-the-mill, so instead of saying "Change it" I say "Do something good with it". That's about it for the paragraph and a half available.
As far as characters go, I have only 2 problems - Sithis and Fayth. They're both far too young to have the word "legend" in their name. Unless Fayth and Sithis join at level 50+, I say change them as they feel detached.

EDIT: Allow me to address the "scripts featured" list, now that I think of it.
I won't address specific items but rather the general feel of it with nodding to certain themes - for one, you seem highly taken on adding visual strengthening to the game with particles and the Thomas Edison VX scripts. I say drop those unless they are used profusely in over a 3rd of the game. We didn't come to play a 2D game for the super graphics.
Materia, Mix Items and Spirits System (Whatever it may be) sound attempts at a varied gameplay system which might be overdoing it. When I add main features, I question their overall Click Count compared to what they do. Materia has a very high Click Count and it sounds like you have things besides which are as prominent - like the Blue Mage bit. A Blue Mage with Materia is a sort of double negative: he has 2 sources of skill income.
The rest of the scripts fall into either "thought it was cool" or "default's not enough" categories. Those that came via the prior, like "A bunch of KGC scripts" (they do sound like that), can go.
Just my honest opinion about the list.

 

[Kuahewa huki 'ino]

You know, this is probably gonna sound a little facetious and shit, but I'm totally serious: reading through your characters, you could really make some clever changes that would make them "fun and unique" rather than "cliche teenage mutant ninja turtles wolfshirt samurais." I don't want to write your characters for you, but the one character who stood out to me was your Wolfpack dude. Read up a little about feral children and age threshold for language acquisition and see what you can do with that information--all too often, I see characters with backgrounds like his who have a pretty good grasp even on caveman language.

If you play your cards right, you can turn even the most cliche-sounding dudes into unique characters, if only because nobody else has ever made a character who didn't follow the "speak like caveman!" rules. In a way, even Gau from FFVI was a cliche, keep that in mind.

 

[PuppetOfFate]

You know, this is probably gonna sound a little facetious and shit, but I'm totally serious: reading through your characters, you could really make some clever changes that would make them "fun and unique" rather than "cliche teenage mutant ninja turtles wolfshirt samurais." I don't want to write your characters for you, but the one character who stood out to me was your Wolfpack dude. Read up a little about feral children and age threshold for language acquisition and see what you can do with that information--all too often, I see characters with backgrounds like his who have a pretty good grasp even on caveman language.

If you play your cards right, you can turn even the most cliche-sounding dudes into unique characters, if only because nobody else has ever made a character who didn't follow the "speak like caveman!" rules. In a way, even Gau from FFVI was a cliche, keep that in mind.

Well as my team and I develop more on the story, characters, etc I will update the bio's for the characters.

 

[Jason]

If Sithis is an elf, shouldn't he be maybe 3000 years old ? (I mean, Legolas is around 3000, right ? And Elrond is around 5000 if I'm not mistaken), it'd just make more sense, especially being "legendary"

I also think that Fayth should be older, I mean, being "legendary" at the age of 19 doesn't make sense either, I mean, if she is an elf too, make her a couple of thousand years old, if not, atleast have her in her older ages, otherwise you're following the huge cliche of RPG's, where all the characters are under the age of 20, yet have all these amazing abilities...

I think your characters (Except for Siberius) could benefit from being older, in some cases, almost double their current age (Or atleast mid/late 20's), with the exception of the elf...

 

[PuppetOfFate]

Just because they are an elf doesn't mean it has to go along with all the common elf-like things such as age and their ability with swords and bows. Fayth I can understand because I didn't think about it.

 

[PuppetOfFate]

UPDATED SCREENSHOTS, FEATURES AND CHARACTERS

 

[Anaxim]

Once again, that age is still too young for a singularly acting person to become a legend for the mastery of anything.
Sithis, while you may now follow common elven tradition, is a master marksman. While it is nice fluff, it makes no sense since if I have to compare to real world bow and arrow champions, his feats would endanger his health on an hour-to-hour basis in a fantasy world since being so young and so skillful would attract all kinds of attention as a legend.
Fayth is likewise - if she is human, and knowing spellcasters, she should be dead three times over. Being that young and having a legend follow you around for being an awesome healer would mean that people would CONSTANTLY be around her and ask her to heal them.
Use the word legend carefully. It sounds like good fluff, but writing good legendary characters if often more trouble than you should take on yourself. In one anime named Basquash!, there's this killer that hunts legends or legend would-be's. When delivering a final blow, he tells them to blame the legend they seek to be or that they are, not the fact he was paid.
Think carefully if you want to burden yourself in writing them like real living legends and burden the party with such characters. Legends need to physically isolate to be unknown in person, for a long time at that.
So yeah, try and think it over.

 

[PuppetOfFate]

UPDATE: I was able to get a SMS system to work but I had to take out some other scripts which I was reluctant to do until I saw that I was just throwing scripts in. I decided to make the Kaduki style battlers SBS script compatible with my game and take out the scripts that weren't compatible. After I will no longer add any scripts whatsoever.

 

[PuppetOfFate]

Added screenshots, videos and a demo.