Pure

[Pure Team]

http://i87.photobucket.com/albums/k139/ ... tled-2.jpg[/IMG]

http://i87.photobucket.com/albums/k139/ ... inents.jpg[/IMG]

A young adult was running in the damp forest. Monsters flung at him, as he lifted his sword and sliced the creatures trying to defeat him. His dark brown and red hair flew through the night forest, as he ran towards the end and stopped to breathe. He didn't dare look behind. The young adult checked inside his jacket's pocket.

'Good, my goldcoins are still here...' The swordsman put it away, and walked towards the town west to him. It was late, he couldn't go to his destination. The brown and red hair young adult walked inside the Inn, where he would go to his destination in the morning... Little did he know in just a few minutes, his journey about the truth was going to begin.

His eyes closed.

This is where it began...
http://i87.photobucket.com/albums/k139/ ... rChibi.png[/IMG]
http://i87.photobucket.com/albums/k139/ ... _14752.gif[/IMG]

Spoiler: Story

You play as Abner, an 18 year old swordsman currently living in the world of Pano. He's an incredible swordsman for his age, and travels the 2 hours to see his best friend, Adamina everyday. Adamina is the mayor's daughter, so it was unlikely they would become friends.

One night, Abner left his house a bit too late, and got to her town, Sheena after midnight. He checks into the Inn, and goes into a deep sleep. Little did he know, his sleep would bring him into a place he never been in before.

Abner awakes to see a temple in front of him, unaware of what has happened to the town of Sheena. A voice calls out to him, telling him to come closer...

http://i87.photobucket.com/albums/k139/ ... aChibi.png[/IMG]

http://i87.photobucket.com/albums/k139/ ... _14888.gif[/IMG]

Spoiler: Characters

http://i87.photobucket.com/albums/k139/babygirlbria/AbnerDrawing.jpg[/IMG] http://i87.photobucket.com/albums/k139/ ... abner2.png[/IMG]
Name: Abner
Class: Swordsman
Age: 18
Abner is witty, he has a lot of confidence, and cares about others around him.

http://i87.photobucket.com/albums/k139/ ... mina-1.jpg[/IMG] http://i87.photobucket.com/albums/k139/ ... mina-2.png[/IMG]
Name: Adamina
Class: Shakra
Age: 17
Adamina is very simple-minded. She likes to encourage Abner, and is very optimistic.

http://i87.photobucket.com/albums/k139/ ... icture.jpg[/IMG] http://i87.photobucket.com/albums/k139/ ... aius10.png[/IMG]
Name: Gaius
Class: Swordsman
Age: 18
Gaius is quiet and very smart. He and Abner are on the same level of swordsman, and he loves to help the world... He also loves a certain someone on the party.

http://i87.photobucket.com/albums/k139/ ... rawing.jpg[/IMG] http://i87.photobucket.com/albums/k139/ ... aide10.png[/IMG]
Name: Zaide
Class: Axeman
Age: 18
Zaide is stubborn, but she also helps people. She works with Gaius, helping people and protecting them.

There are more on the party, but you will have to learn about them yourselves. =]

http://i87.photobucket.com/albums/k139/ ... _14956.gif[/IMG]

Spoiler: Screenshots

http://i87.photobucket.com/albums/k139/babygirlbria/purescreenie.jpg[/IMG]
http://i87.photobucket.com/albums/k139/ ... eenie2.jpg
http://i87.photobucket.com/albums/k139/ ... inents.jpg[/IMG]
http://i87.photobucket.com/albums/k139/ ... eenie4.jpg[/IMG]
http://i87.photobucket.com/albums/k139/ ... eenie5.jpg[/IMG]
http://i87.photobucket.com/albums/k139/ ... eenie8.jpg[/IMG]
http://i87.photobucket.com/albums/k139/ ... eenie9.jpg[/IMG]
http://i87.photobucket.com/albums/k139/ ... enie10.jpg[/IMG]
http://i87.photobucket.com/albums/k139/ ... enie11.jpg[/IMG]

http://i87.photobucket.com/albums/k139/ ... _15079.gif[/IMG]

Spoiler: Features that shall come in Pure

Quests =]
Endings That May Differ with Character Affections
Different Costumes
Puzzles
Turn-based Boss Battles
Mr. Mo's ABS
Many more!

Credit Breeze Templates for the chibi kawainess!!! ^^;


Music composed and arranged by Kara Jordon! =]

 

[Tohsaka]

If I may critic a little, your maps need a lot of work. A lot. You might wanna check out some of Prexus's tutorials.

 

[Ratty524]

Yeah, as Rai said, the maps need work. I think I was going to throw up looking at them. (Sorry if that sounded too harsh)

 

[TheSavior]

That was a little harsh there Ratty. The maps do need a bit of work... but your sketches looks great, and overall seems like a well structured project.

 

[Skyla Doragono]

*adjusts her glasses and puts on a thinking cap*

You've got a long way to go here. For starters, the opening of the topic itself; you're giving way too much information that we're going to see in the game anyway. With the way it's written, most of it is "blah, blah, fight, blah, blah, gold, blah, blah, sword". Less is more dear; I feel like I'm reading Eragon with the way it is now. In that respect, your grammar needs a lot of work. Ask for someone to proof read before you write up something like this.

As far as graphics, like Rai said, your maps need a massive amount of work. You're suffering from a heavy case of "wide open space" syndrome. Sure it worked in games like Phantasy Star II, but we're all users of RMXP here, and we know just how much you can stuff onto one map. Wide open spaces are not going to fly. You also have tiles in places they're not supposed to go. At all.

Also, we can REEEEEAAALLY tell which sprites are custom and which are default RTP. The shading on the clothes is absolutely horrible. Don't even get me started on the hair. You'll want to look into tutorials on how to sprite as well.

Storyline... meh. I can't really comment too much on the story. Seems like a lot of "been there, done that". I won't put in a final word on the storyline until you clean up the topic.

Final word? Needs massive improvement. Good luck.

 

[Malachi]

That's a bit hypocritical coming from you, Ratty. Some of your maps have the same affect on me.

 

[Mitch]

LOL!!!!!!!!!!
I love the concept art of the girl with the axe looking all cute when she justed killed someone... funny

 

[Ratty524]

That's a bit hypocritical coming from you, Ratty. Some of your maps have the same affect on me.

care to point out specific areas? (pm me don't post in the thread).

 

[Tohsaka]

Also, your art isn't bad, but there are issues here and there. Your blending from dark to light isn't at good as it could be and you need a little more work with clothing folds.

 

[BunnyKinx]

your maps look very... square, try making more random and i think you will have some good looking maps

 

[LosAngeles]

An interesting project with a theme which reminds me a little bit of "Steppenwolf" by H.Hesse, in my opinion it has the potential to step out of the huge amount of projects here in early development.
I love the breezies you did there:2thumb:by the way.
I'm lookig forward to it, Pure!:yes:

 

[Xathia Vastar]

The maps aren't THAT bad... I have seen far worse. However I think the sprites can use a bit more work as a few earlier posters said. Some of them have no shading in them at all.

 

[Pure Team]

Little update. Removed some screenshots and added the newer version of Abner and Adamina.(charset). I'll be adding newer map screenshots later. Changed/added features

An interesting project with a theme which reminds me a little bit of "Steppenwolf" by H.Hesse, in my opinion it has the potential to step out of the huge amount of projects here in early development.
I love the breezies you did there:2thumb:by the way.
I'm lookig forward to it, Pure!:yes:

Thank you L.A! ^_^.

The maps aren't THAT bad... I have seen far worse. However I think the sprites can use a bit more work as a few earlier posters said. Some of them have no shading in them at all.

I haven't been on this topic since... the day after I started it and today... I worked on my mapping, they look better than this now... I don't know how much better... but I also been working on the sprites, thank you for your... feedback? I appreaciate it ^_^

 

[Prexus]

http://i87.photobucket.com/albums/k139/ ... heena5.jpg[/img]

Tell me that is supposed to say something different? Maybe "When you never came back last night." or "When you never showed up last night."

 

[Pure Team]

http://i87.photobucket.com/albums/k139/babygirlbria/InTownOfSheena5.jpg[/img]

Tell me that is supposed to say something different? Maybe "When you never came back last night." or "When you never showed up last night."

Yeah, it is... I'll fix it when I'm on my laptop... I really can't work on that on my dad's... ^^;. Thanks for pointing it out.

 

[Diedrupo]

http://i87.photobucket.com/albums/k139/babygirlbria/InTownOfSheena5.jpg[/IMG]

Tell me that is supposed to say something different? Maybe "When you never came back last night." or "When you never showed up last night."

Haha awesome

 

[Pure Team]

Ummm... another update! Fixed up the topic I guess ^^;

 

[Pure Team]

Bump!
Another update, screenshot of updated (beginning world map.)

 

[Dark Koji]

I am not gonna comment about story or map as the others before me already gave good feedbacks.

What I want to say is;
I like the concept arts for your characters~ Got that nice, fuzzy feeling similar to when I draw my own stuff too. Oh, but you definitely need to rework your character sprites. Try to improve on the color shades. I know sprite-working can get rather tedious, but do your best. ^^