Post-Telochian World

[Despain]

this is a poem that i wrote.

Post-Telochian World

Double thick blood oozes between the cobblestones of our abandoned streets,
Ablaze like trails of oil, blood on fire, drawing spiderwebs of flame from corner to corner.

And it is beautiful.

Mechanical strains of deceased planes and trains writhing in pain bathing in the flames,
Cars upside-down like dogs wanting their bellies rubbed begging the hand to slide further down
and RED ROCKET! RED ROCKET! and ejaculate a stream of gasoline mix with the bloodwebs
and the fire travels back up and the cardog turns red and explodes but nobody notices
and nobody cares.
this is not an isolated incident. it happens in every street of every city of every state of every nation
and Google's satellite maps are red and orange with static

and it is beautiful.

nobody cares or nobody knows because everyone is busy doing their own thing and
you fucking idiots all think that this is a BAD THING but you are no different
masturbating to staged rape on the internet while your sister is being raped for real
in the next room by your father and you come just as he does, father and son
a bonding moment for the both of you if only you knew but you dont because you
just miss each other after you clean up and go downstairs for a postcoital snack

and it is beautiful

and no i'm not being sarcastic i LOVE IT
this is the post-telochian world while he was here we learned to relish
the disgusting beauty of it all and now we have to re-learn it all without him
where everything is better and everything is worse magnified by sixteen-hundred
with pixels as big as your ugly magnificent hideous gorgeous face

and its fucking beautiful

 

[Untra]

I've always enjoyed visualizing a dark disgusting world fueled by mankinds putrid habit of trying to writhe itself free from the malthusian trap that has been employed by our lack of inability to come with means as to produce seemingly unlimited resources on a mass scale, while also being able to supress dark purposes of future leaders who wish to utilize the population for their dark misanthropic deeds and seemingly endless diversion of corrupted power and act.

Your broad vocabularly limits itself as so that your pure emotions and distaste of the world coincide with how you feel about Telochs lack of presence in today's community. The very first sentences captures the mind with descriptive and imaginative perspectives of the world, and it truely emphasizes of how corrupted a society we are.

Fucking awesome.

 

[Despain]

okay here is another. it's in the same kind of tone as "post-telochian world" but not QUITE. it would go in my "post-telochian world" collection of poetry  :thumb:

This is a Poem About Internet Porn

i can't sleep at night with nigger cocks dancing through my dreams like the shadows of titans
forty jap businessmen surrounding an underage girl laying motionless and whimpering frightened
bald-headed bitches and boys with mohawks fucking in public a party with midgets and clowns
five guys and a woman get her on a couch but oh! there's a twist she weighs three hundred pounds
    whips and rings and leather and swings
    these are a few of my favorite things
two elderly dykes (probably faking) smiling and moaning then pushing and eating each other's shit
some blonde camwhore fucks her dog for attention wipes his sandpaper tongue all over her clit
twelve-year-old cheerleader being impregnated by uncle in the back seat of mommy's shiny new car
i wish i could sleep but every time i close my eyes this is it! this is where the wild things really are
    jaded and faded and hated and sedated
    a few of my favorite things desecrated

 

[Kav]

Cars upside-down like dogs wanting their bellies rubbed begging the hand to slide further down

my favorite line

 

[Grathea]

Des, this is really incredible.
I LOVE the tone you give it, it really gives it a personality.
Please, write more.

 

[Despain]

ty :3

i'm surprised people are liking this stuff or maybe more surprised that people seem to be GETTING IT. i was hesitant to post this at first because i thought a lot of people would see the bad words and be like "oh he's trollin again LOL"

(and I think you should replace teloch with something else if you are planning to republish it somewhere else and you should since it is fucking amazing)

well teloch is a very specific reference to me but at the same time it could mean a lot more. everyone has a teloch

and I feel really bad to be using a GRAPHIC NOVEL REFERENCE even if it is this one - is that it really reminds me of THE COMEDIAN's philosophy.

no don't feel bad about this i agree with it 100%. in my most recent two times reading that book i've felt VERY MUCH close to the comedian and the way he understands the world. the first times i read it i was like "wow rorschach lol" but that's just because he's cool etc, and more recently i very much GET the comedian

yeah i definitely plan to do more i really like doing these. i definitely think that i still need a LOT of work in terms of more technical things though, but that will come with time so i need to write more of these  :crazy:



also kav i thought you might like this one

five guys and a woman get her on a couch but oh! there's a twist she weighs three hundred pounds

 

[Grathea]

OK, on reflection after re-reading, I found a slight catch:

    jaded and faded and hated and sedated
    a few of my favorite things desecrated

I think this would scan much better were it to be, say:
jaded and faded, hated, sedated
a few of my favorite things desecrated

Or something along those lines. As is, they just don't flow very well.

 

[Stardust]

i'm surprised people are liking this stuff or maybe more surprised that people seem to be GETTING IT. i was hesitant to post this at first because i thought a lot of people would see the bad words and be like "oh he's trollin again LOL"

That's what I initially thought.  Then I read it.  It's really good.  You're very talented and you have a very unique style, which makes everything you write interesting.  Overall, good job with these! :thumb:

 

[kaze950]

i'm surprised people are liking this stuff or maybe more surprised that people seem to be GETTING IT. i was hesitant to post this at first because i thought a lot of people would see the bad words and be like "oh he's trollin again LOL"

Yeah, I'm probably one of those people who "doesn't get it". I guess I really don't get "poetry", cause to me it sounds just like a guy ranting  O_o

Although, each time I read it, I find it more and more enjoyable. I enjoy your "colorful" language, and phrases ("postcoital snack").

I actually laugh a lot when reading it, although I don't know if that was your intent.

It does not seem like "traditional poetry", but its entertaining nonetheless.

 

[Venetia]

I've actually read poetry very like this before, but not much.

if more poetry were like this, i think i'd like poetry as a whole a whole lot more.

also, ignoring the content completely, it's structurally and rhythmically well-laid-out. product of our american college systems :thumb:

 

[Despain]

also, ignoring the content completely, it's structurally and rhythmically well-laid-out. product of our american college systems :thumb:

i'm actually taking a really boring POETRY ANALYSIS type course right now, and writing these things are the only way im getting through it without being bored out of my mind

 

[Venetia]

those courses singlehandedly made me hate poetry

 

[Rare]

this stuff is really real

nice

 

[Despain]

Post-Telochian World, Part Two

Come back to us. We miss you. We need you.
we can't be followers if we don't have a leader.
Come back to me. I miss you. I need you.
i can't double-team if I'm all by myself.
now that you're gone someone has to fill in the hole
you didn't tell us where but you taught us how to get there
the clockmaker, assembling all the gears and cogs, winding
and turning it on and leaving it to keep ticking by itself

yes that's right i just compared you to an outdated way
of thinking of GOD. yes i just compared you to GOD and
yes i will stick by that. GOD is on the internet.
i think that his browser of choice is Opera.
wisps of you linger, bits of memory floating at random
here and there in our virtual world

you've given me a new understanding of language
a grammatical epiphany. you've taught me how
to take her, to berate her, to subjugate her,
but it's not rape if she likes it
if she invites it
only if she fights it
but she accepts it, doesn't regret it
doesn't forget it.

Fuck it.

I've lost where I was going with this.

my point is that things are better now. even though you're gone.
you've opened our eyes to the true beauty of things
shown me how to find nature's sense of humor in the grotesque
critique the intestinal placement in a photograph of the remains of a child
that blood spatter looks a little bit like a frog

 

[tensuke]

you've given me a new understanding of language
a grammatical epiphany. you've taught me how
to take her, to berate her, to subjugate her,
but it's not rape if she likes it
if she invites it
only if she fights it
but she accepts it, doesn't regret it
doesn't forget it.

this

 

[Despain]

new poem!!

4′33″

 

[Untra]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hUJagb7hL0E

 

[CeruSkye]

Interesting poetry. I don't like it, I don't NOT like it. You must live in a very dismal space.

 

[Despain]

Why? Only one out of four is negative.

 

[CeruSkye]

Actually, on the second read, I kinda lean towards liking your stuff. At least you are unique. Gritty, a bit disturbed, but, unique.
And unique is good in your case.