Please see my game intro
- Thread starter MusicSam
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There's a typo you might want to fix up ("inherting") and some run-on sentences (the last few messages before the king is taken out).
I'm not sure why the Chancellor and randomProtagonist are asked to carry the king when they could have guards or servants bring him, but I'll skip over that detail. Them bringing the king to the mountain and the credits drags on a little. Remember, this is an intro: you want to keep it short and sweet, and the more action-filled the better. People want to jump into a game immediately, not scroll through tons of text on backstory or watch two guys carry a deadguy up a whole mountain. I'm only exaggerating so you get the point, but credits would probably better fit the end of the game (or you could show them quickly, but not as dragged out as the mountain scene).
Mapping could be improved, from a critic's eye (check out the Mapping Improv. Thread), but is decent and tolerable (I've seen far worse). Otherwise, it's pretty solid like moog stated. Apart from these small nuances, it's not too bad. Just try to spice it up to hook the player better, because they'll judge this scene more than any other to see if they want to keep playing.
I'm not sure why the Chancellor and randomProtagonist are asked to carry the king when they could have guards or servants bring him, but I'll skip over that detail. Them bringing the king to the mountain and the credits drags on a little. Remember, this is an intro: you want to keep it short and sweet, and the more action-filled the better. People want to jump into a game immediately, not scroll through tons of text on backstory or watch two guys carry a deadguy up a whole mountain. I'm only exaggerating so you get the point, but credits would probably better fit the end of the game (or you could show them quickly, but not as dragged out as the mountain scene).
Mapping could be improved, from a critic's eye (check out the Mapping Improv. Thread), but is decent and tolerable (I've seen far worse). Otherwise, it's pretty solid like moog stated. Apart from these small nuances, it's not too bad. Just try to spice it up to hook the player better, because they'll judge this scene more than any other to see if they want to keep playing.
mapping worked. It wasn't bad, nor was it exquisite or extraordinary like that of reeve's (free bird productions). It shows a god understanding of rmxp rtp mapping, and wasn't all that bad.
the music is okay. I have to say that there was nothing that grabbed people's attention. It worked for the situtation, definitely, but there was too little variety, not enough to hold the attention. The first music piece, the one in the tomb, was quite crap, honestly. It was a single sound, that maybe wavered in volume a bit. The second piece was much better, and while it definitely fit the scene, it wasn't long enoughh. It eventually repeated, a loop that felt noticeable, and didn't have enough emphasis.
Dialogue felt a bit disjointed at times, true. The scenes were also a bit boring, factoring in bland music and onyl decent mapping. The two chars basically onl stood there while they talked
there weren't any lighting affects, things to make the screen stand out besides the mapping
as an it alluded to things, but not much in an interesting way. Basically, it didn't grab or hold my attention that much
the music is okay. I have to say that there was nothing that grabbed people's attention. It worked for the situtation, definitely, but there was too little variety, not enough to hold the attention. The first music piece, the one in the tomb, was quite crap, honestly. It was a single sound, that maybe wavered in volume a bit. The second piece was much better, and while it definitely fit the scene, it wasn't long enoughh. It eventually repeated, a loop that felt noticeable, and didn't have enough emphasis.
Dialogue felt a bit disjointed at times, true. The scenes were also a bit boring, factoring in bland music and onyl decent mapping. The two chars basically onl stood there while they talked
there weren't any lighting affects, things to make the screen stand out besides the mapping
as an it alluded to things, but not much in an interesting way. Basically, it didn't grab or hold my attention that much
Eventing_Guy
Awesome Bro
It looks great... (personally) The long walk up the mountain was a bit much,
Could of skipped to the burial site, maybe a little grave from the tileset.
Could of skipped to the burial site, maybe a little grave from the tileset.
i do agree with eventing_guy the mountain walking scene dragged on
And when they were carry him from the side it looked like he was floating between them.
The music in the tomb could do with work, add more music sounds maybe
And the funeral carriage scene was a bit too long.
And also why would they have to carry the king why would they not have guards do that.
And why would they carry the king alone without a guard or two for protection?
But hey thats all just my opinion
And when they were carry him from the side it looked like he was floating between them.
The music in the tomb could do with work, add more music sounds maybe
And the funeral carriage scene was a bit too long.
And also why would they have to carry the king why would they not have guards do that.
And why would they carry the king alone without a guard or two for protection?
But hey thats all just my opinion
I'd say it's a pretty good beginning, apart from some things that were already mentioned.
I think a few credits in the beginning scene are fine, but maybe you would want to change it from "Show Text" commands to images that fade in and out of the screen. That way it won't disturb the scene and i think it looks nicer too.
I think a few credits in the beginning scene are fine, but maybe you would want to change it from "Show Text" commands to images that fade in and out of the screen. That way it won't disturb the scene and i think it looks nicer too.
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