PEP TALK HERE

[Mikepjr]

Hi all, i dunno if this is the right forum for this kinda thing, but here goes.

I'm bipolar, and not being medicated, it's a clinical mental illness... mostly emotional related..

Lately i been feeling so depressed, and more than that.. i feel worthless, things i used to think i was great at, it turns out i have no idea what i'm doing.... and i suck at what i thought i was so good at.

I used to love working with RPG Maker, but now days i can't stand it...
I am also ADD, i have trouble using my brain... people keep telling me "learn scripting" but i can't... and when you tell someone you can't do something, they give you all the reasons you can... and never stop to think "hey, maybe he does have trouble with this kinda stuff".

And now i wonder what good i am considering how the stuff i was good at, i suck at now....
All these things make me feel so depressed and worthless..

On top of all that, the game i was going to make prolly won't come out now, the idea for my game is being done... so to speak.. i was too late to jump on it, making me feel even more depressed.

So now... i'm not sure what i am doing on here....
My hobbies are dead to me now...

I don't suppose anyone else has ever felt like this?.. Prolly not..
I just needed to vent.

Sorry, i did not realize i had it in the wrong subforum..

 

[Toams]

Hey, i moved this to here, the rec room is more of a place for silly things. And this is a pretty serious topic.

Apart from that, i dont really know about bipolar, apart from the facto that your emotions are out of hand? High highs and low lows.

I don't think feeling worthless is a symptom of bipolarity, so there's got to be another reason for that.. did anything major happen in your life lately? Also, how old are you?

 

[Toams]

Ps, venting is always good.. :grin:

 

[Mikepjr]

No, i feel worthless cause of the thing with my game.... i thought i was great at sprite work.. and i'm not...
Just... aggravated a lot with things..
And yes feeling worthless can be part of bipolar disorder, so can lack of motivation, it's similar to depression, only you have other extreme emotions... not just being sad..

 

[Toams]

Well, if you thought you were good.. what made you think you aren't?
Also if you think you're bad at something there's only one way to fix that: practice!!

also, whenever i feel like something just won't work, i think of this quote i read a while ago:

Nobody tells this to people who are beginners, I wish someone told me. All of us who do creative work, we get into it because we have good taste. But there is this gap. For the first couple years you make stuff, it’s just not that good. It’s trying to be good, it has potential, but it’s not. But your taste, the thing that got you into the game, is still killer. And your taste is why your work disappoints you. A lot of people never get past this phase, they quit. Most people I know who do interesting, creative work went through years of this. We know our work doesn’t have this special thing that we want it to have. We all go through this. And if you are just starting out or you are still in this phase, you gotta know its normal and the most important thing you can do is do a lot of work. Put yourself on a deadline so that every week you will finish one story. It is only by going through a volume of work that you will close that gap, and your work will be as good as your ambitions. And I took longer to figure out how to do this than anyone I’ve ever met. It’s gonna take awhile. It’s normal to take awhile. You’ve just gotta fight your way through.

 

[Ellie]

We all go through this, believe me. I go through it every other day. If you track progress on any of my games you'll see a few days of massive updates and then a week of me kicking myself and telling myself I'm worthless and that my games are shit and that I'm wasting my time etc.

About the spriting -- making bad sprite work doesn't mean you are bad at spriting. Pixel art, like most things actually, is all about experience and commitment - the best artist in the world won't pick up their very first canvas and create the Mona Lisa in a day. RPG Maker is mostly a learning experience, and great for that; all of our games aren't as good as what we could make next week. (It's why so many are unfinished, because we always learn that new thing that would have helped so much the week before... and has rendered that work redundant).

 

[Toams]

i'm renaming this thread

 

[glorious caesar]

join the fucken club

 

[glorious caesar]

join the club bro

 

[Ellie]

If I was being Freudian and such I'd say we're here because we're all like this. That that's why we're making games, or at least that that's why ended up at HBGames.

 

[Injury]

Stop the stinking thinking. It doesn't do you any good! You waste more energy on being negative than being positive!

The more time you spend worrying about acceptance, the more you build yourself up to fail your own insane expectations. AmyPond is right, no one makes their Mona Lisa right off the bat, and you should NEVER expect that too happen.

Good things take time and are hard to accomplish. They require hard work and dedication to YOUR ideas, not something someone else thinks its good!

Get off the mope boat and get into your game! :biggrin: :box: :box: :biggrin:

 

[Perihelion]

You know what? If you wanna get better at spriting, we can help. Post a thread in artwork and I'll leave you some crits.

If it's any consolation, it's the same self-criticism that's making you feel down now that lets you improve. The ability to see flaws in your work is a great thing because it lets you correct those flaws. If you were one of those people who thinks they're great but aren't, you might be happier, but you'd definitely be less skilled. Just keep spriting and try not to get discouraged. No one gets good overnight.

 

[Mikepjr]

I had been at it for years, i used to think it was the only thing i was good at until i put some things up to see what people thought, people got so technical, it threw me for a loop... so to speak... and now i am depressed out my mind, cause the only thing i thought i was doing really good at, everyone is like "this should be like this, this is like this, this has to be like this, you should change all this to that",all i was wanting was small things, like "try this color with this color", but i get things that make my head spin and me go "FFFFFFF*CK!" and i wanted to scream... i been doing spriting for a long damn time, and i do mean a LONG damn time, i have had nothing but positive feedback in other places, and then i put something up here, and now i feel like i suck...

And don't even get me started on the scripting crap.. OMG...i KNOW i suck with that stuff.. i can barely mod scripts already made.. but really making little things i need?
Forget about it!
And anytime i asked anything about scripting, the ones i asked gave me sh*t... and an attitude... OMG.. the one thing i wanted to get feedback on of any kind, and to learn more.. i get crap.. wow..

The entire RPG Making scene has it's elitists who don't give a crap, and won't help you unless you got wads of cash, or that's how it seems to be getting... which sucks, cause it used to be more of a hobby for people, not a way to try and make money...
All the sudden, one jack-off makes a game and sells it, and everyone jumps on the bandwagon, and tries to make a buck...

Just... everything is starting to weigh down on me big time... i been making my game since RMXP was launched, i had lots of set backs cause of graphics i was making, it was too complicated and time consuming.. then i get this brilliant idea to speed up the process, and for how my game will look and everything... and someone beats me to the punch.. and i'm like.. "wow... they are getting help where no one wanted to help me... why?"

Keep in mind, i did in fact announce and show off my game way back at the begining of the games development.. my vision for my game won't ever come to fruition.. cause everyone is some kind of dick.. or elitist .. okay maybe not everyone... but a lot are..

Just.. a combination of everything has weighed down on me to the point that i want to scream.. which is why i got snappy at people about all the things they were telling me i should do when i showed my work thus far...

I wanted to focus on graphics and the basics of using RMXP, if i could have, i know i could have done better..
But when you gotta do it all on your own, and people start telling you everything that is wrong with your work... you wanna get pissed the F*CK off at people.

So now, i wanna throw up my hands and give up... it sucks.
It's making me depressed beyond words...

By the way, wanna know how good i am at graphics?
Check out my avatar to the side, the old man, i drew him from an old 8 bit graphic..

 

[moog]

Since when did we become a psychiatrists office? look man if you are depressed perhaps you should look for things that make you happy instead of dwelling on the worse. I didnt read this whole thread but maybe you should see if you can get some sort of medication. I know you arent medicated, but there has to be something to help with your bipolarity. Its better than wasting time posting to internet people about it, man.

 

[glorious caesar]

dude just relax and chill out. rpg maker's a hobby. have fun with it. :toot:

By the way, wanna know how good i am at graphics?
Check out my avatar to the side, the old man, i drew him from an old 8 bit graphic..

man i don't want to be a dick because you're all depressed but if you're saying that are great or something then hdear:

 

[Mikepjr]

That's how good i thought i was i should say.. sorry...

 

[Injury]

Don't apologize...It's a sign of weakness. Are you weak? Do you wake up in the mirror and think "Man I suck!"

Why would you do that?

If you don't change your stance and outlook, how do you ever expect to better yourself?

 

[glorious caesar]

don't misunderstand my point, bro.

what i'm saying is relax. you're not gonna be the best—you don't have to be the best. keep practicing and have fun with it. everyone here is here to help you. yeah a lot of us are dicks but consider it tough love. if we didn't want to help you better yourself when we wouldn't reply at all.

 

[Toams]

That's how good i thought i was i should say.. sorry...

hey man, you're way better than i am.

i can't sprite for shit.
seriously.
i do graphics okay, like, in photoshop
but spriting.. man.

 

[So fist]

Don't apologize...It's a sign of weakness.

Okay Dwight...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=a7skttR3P5g