Of Passion (aka What I've Been Doing While I've Been Gone)
- Thread starter tofurkey
- Start date
- Status
I liked it. I like the overall tone and the characterization; you characters were solid, tangible, believable. The broken sentences help set the mood for a culminating and brutal ending.
I would've liked to see someone against it, though, other than the doctor; they were all pressuring him to do so, and it's a pity we didn't see anyone oppose too (except for the Priest, but he barely said a sentence or two, as opposed to the son, the hotel people and the sheriff and his crew).
Still good stuff!
I would've liked to see someone against it, though, other than the doctor; they were all pressuring him to do so, and it's a pity we didn't see anyone oppose too (except for the Priest, but he barely said a sentence or two, as opposed to the son, the hotel people and the sheriff and his crew).
Still good stuff!
Yeah, I have gotten that there should be some other people expressing some form of "proper" morality. I suppose Miss Gretta would be a suitable candidate.
My reasoning for not having anyone do that was that I wanted to really enable the doctor to engage in that age-long question of ethics, "Would you commit a crime if the rest of the world was willing to put it aside?"
A couple other critiques I got were that there wasn't enough on Ruth (the wife) and also that I should establish location a little better, but I wasn't sure how I felt about adding either. What's your take?
My reasoning for not having anyone do that was that I wanted to really enable the doctor to engage in that age-long question of ethics, "Would you commit a crime if the rest of the world was willing to put it aside?"
A couple other critiques I got were that there wasn't enough on Ruth (the wife) and also that I should establish location a little better, but I wasn't sure how I felt about adding either. What's your take?
I wasn't talk about any "proper" morality, but seeing as how it's a dilemma, it seems rather one-sided.
I think it's fine that you, as the author, steer clear of any moral judgment and let the character sort of grow and perform in and of itself.
I'm not too sure about the wife. This is a short piece, and not knowing anything about the wife didn't impact the story much; we don't have enough time to really familiarize ourselves with the characters/setting as to want to know more.
Which brings us to the third point. I like the vague setting, the blurred secondary characters, cookie-cutters, mostly because the dilemma is more universal in that way; you aren't bogged down a unique, individual psyche but rather a mold from which can spring many different individuals, and your story has all the more impact thanks to that. To sum up, I liked the vagueness of it all.
I think it's fine that you, as the author, steer clear of any moral judgment and let the character sort of grow and perform in and of itself.
I'm not too sure about the wife. This is a short piece, and not knowing anything about the wife didn't impact the story much; we don't have enough time to really familiarize ourselves with the characters/setting as to want to know more.
Which brings us to the third point. I like the vague setting, the blurred secondary characters, cookie-cutters, mostly because the dilemma is more universal in that way; you aren't bogged down a unique, individual psyche but rather a mold from which can spring many different individuals, and your story has all the more impact thanks to that. To sum up, I liked the vagueness of it all.
- Status