need music crits

[moog]

Ive been messing around with this piece for awhile, and now I think I have the perfect balance of strings in it. The beginning sounds a bit like Grandia imo.

http://bb.xieke.com/files/The%20Book%20of%20Sorrow.mp3

So yeah, tell me what you think, and all that jazz...you know the drill.

Thanks.

oh yeah and if anyone wants to use it (its kinda shit) just credit Moog or Moogle Sprite.

 

[Sonata]

Right now it kind of seems like the melody blends in too much with the other strings, maybe bring the volume of the supporting instruments down a little. The ending also seems a little abrupt. 

 

[moog]

Thanks Sonata! I actually agree with you. I panned most of the melody to the right, so Ill tone it down.

 

[Zackwell]

I like this, Its an infusion of Golden sun and Alundra 2.
Though I suggest maybe try to incorperate a lil' bit of bass if you can.  :thumb:

 

[moog]

Thanks gemise! Im going to raise the bass parts up a dynamic level.

 

[Zackwell]

Update ASAP if you can, this music has GREAT potential! and I want to listen to it!

 

[moog]

I appreciate it. Heres another short piece Ive been messing with:

http://bb.xieke.com/files/Benevolance.mp3

and here is a boss theme WIP I am writing on request:

http://bb.xieke.com/files/Clash%20on%20the%20Bridge.mp3

crits would be helpful :3

 

[Zackwell]

This isn't music...

Its an artform; You really are good at this.

 

[moog]

Haha, thanks :p I dont agree, but its nice to see someone who appreciates my music

 

[tai]

I don't have much experience critiquing music, but I like listening to this kind of stuff so why not.

The Book of Sorrow
I'm a headphone user, when this song started I thought my right earpiece died. (and i have a connection problem so I was busy fiddling with the jack) Then at 0:32 i was like, 'Whao!'
The panning is definitely way too intense for headphone users. Put on a pair and listen to it yourself, I'm sure you'll see what I mean.

Benevolence
I'm not sure if the title is matching - to me it feels like there's a lot of history in that song, and is meant to be used in an abandoned building that was once a major part of the protagonist's life. Or as an accompaniment to the prologue text (a la Final Fantasy I)

There are some strange bass notes, the lowest one, once at 0:28, a few times at 0:44 and the same sequence at 1:35 (an octave higher). I like the overall feel though. I might use this myself one day.

Clash on the Bridge
Same problem with the panning. Do a test listen with headphones.
Theres a sudden jump in volume with the pads (or whatever voice) panned to left in the beginning second. Once I noticed that the first time it became extremely distracting subsequent listens.
I find the silence in the melody at 0:37 0:39 0:42 really awkward. (same applies for the second verse.)

Eh? did it get suddenly louder at 1:04? or is my jack just acting up?

you NEED a bass line. Preferably introduced the second refrain and continued throughout all the repeats. A really, really, really funky one. There's no such thing as a battle song without a bass line. It just feels like something is missing. Something really, really important. And it has so much potential for a superfunky supergood bass line. I have a feeling I would love this song if it had a good bass line. So yeah. Bass it and I'd love to give it a re-listen.

 

[moog]

Thanks, Tai!

I appreciate you taking the time to crit my music, just a few things Id like to respond to:

The panning is definitely way too intense for headphone users. Put on a pair and listen to it yourself, I'm sure you'll see what I mean.

Yeah, I know what you mean, although its not really the panning. Im using a echoed string ensemble that makes it sound too intense T_T So ill go back and fix that.

There are some strange bass notes, the lowest one, once at 0:28, a few times at 0:44 and the same sequence at 1:35 (an octave higher).

@_@ Really? I didnt hear any. T_T Ill go back and check. Thanks for finding that!

I find the silence in the melody at 0:37 0:39 0:42 really awkward.

Hm, I dont see what you mean, but ill take a listen anyways. Its supposed to sound random, sort of out of place on purpose. :D But a silence @_@ Ill go listen.

you NEED a bass line. Preferably introduced the second refrain and continued throughout all the repeats. A really, really, really funky one. There's no such thing as a battle song without a bass line. It just feels like something is missing. Something really, really important.

Huh? There is an apparent bass line in this piece!; im not sure how you dont hear it (you might mean an electric bass line), but it is there in the synth strings. Its not constant with the second melody (the tenor line takes place) but its very apparent. As for the panning stuff, I did that purposely to segregate the sounds.

Ill go take a second listen, but thanks for your feedback man! :D

 

[tai]

I'm thinking of an electric bass line, one octave or maybe even two octaves lower than the synth strings (scored independently, not transposed) . There's quite a lot going on in the treble, but the song feels quite empty in the bass department. I'd like something like the electric bass in FFVIII's Force Your Way, but funkier >=D
But then again I'm a bass junkie. Compared with my audiophilic friend, he can hear notes higher than I can, but I can hear pitches lower than he can. Gather some other criticism, too.

 

[moog]

Ah, then I will agree. I was going to throw a electric one in sooner or later, haha.

Ironically, Force Your Way is the piece that I used as a reference on Clash on the Bridge, although I find mine is a tad more lighthearted.

But again, thanks for your crits man