Midnight Story:The Crystals Of Light

[Mooglelow]

<WILL SOMEBODY HELP ME MAKE A LOGO?>

Story:
The three nation, Enimagan, Luminar and Esert are peaceful kingdoms. They were separated in the continent of Enluma, little that they know that in another continent, named Umos lies a hidden city called Inuro city. The Inurians are people who are rumored to be extinct in the world, but somehow the rumor was false. The Inurians are searching for the six Crystals Of Light, the Crystals contains power of the six elements, fire, water, wind, earth, light and darkness, only one is on Umos, the rest are on the continent of Enluma. The Inurians sent out savage beasts to find the Crystals Of Light, but everytime the beast came back empty handed. After a long period of time, they started sending out infantry units to wreck the continent of Umos, soon a war started between the kingdoms.

The game starts with a youth named Ulrich Chamberwood who lives in a small village in the kingdom of Esert, he long dreamed of being an Official Knight Of Esert. He starts his journey by telling his family that he is leaving to become a Knight Of Esert. While he is traveling he spotted something strange about the mountains, he saw a small glowing light on the summit of the mountain and so his adventure has began.

Characters:
Name:Ulrich Chamberwood
Age:18
Weapon:Sword/Blade
Class:Swordman
Description:
Ulrich is the main protagonist of the game, he lives in a small village in the kingdom of Esert called Monola village, his best friend is Milly a girl about his age. Ever since small Ulrich has no parents, he lived in a orphanage until he was adopted by the Woodwells, although his doesn't consist Woodwells in it, he is still part of the Woodwells. Many people like to challenge him in a sword fight because he is the finest swordman in the villlage, many fought him but none defeated him. Ulrich dream is to become the world's finest swordman and becoming a Knight Of Esert.

Name:Milly Moonstone
Age:17
Weapon:Staff
Class:Wizard
Description:
Milly is a young girl who likes to hang out with her best friend Ulrich. When she was young she met at the woods, she was stuck there and was attacked by a packed of hungry hounds but Ulrich saved her, for then they became best friends. Milly kept a secret from Ulrich that she likes him, but she doesn't know that if Ulrich liked her so she kept that secret and until now Ulrich still doesn't know that Milly likes him. Milly is still a wizard in training so she doesn't know very powerful spells.

Name:Alex Moonstone
Age:23
Weapon:Dagger
Class:Nomad
Description:
Alex is Milly's brother. Alex and Milly mother was very ill back when Alex was 17, so he have to leave home to find a cure for his mother, 3 years later his mother died but Alex was no where to be found. 5 years later, Alex was found lying in a hut owned by a group of Nomads, after which he joined the group and soon he became a expert at wielding the dagger and have skills to survive in deserts.

Name:Iya
Age:20
Weapon:Saber
Class:Pirate
Description:
Iya is a pirate defending the Esert Kingdom, she is the leader of the pirate, whenever intruders attack the ports of the Esert kingdom Iya would call her pirate units to attack the intruders and show no mercy. When Iya was young she was part of a clan named Shanaian, she never wanted to be a Shanaian but her parents forced her to be one.

Name:Henry Geishu
Age:28
Weapon:Axe
Class:Savager
Description:
Henry is a young man who savage the land as a Savager, he works for the Luminar kingdom to assassinate the Kings and Officials of other kingdom, until now he hasn't killed any Kings yet but he has assassinate a few Officials of other kingdoms. Henry's love died a long time ago when he was still 17, his love was killed by a famous general of the Enimagan kingdom named Mattias, after his love died he have no ambition accept to kill Mattias.

Enemy's:
SOON TO COME

Features:
Blizz ABS
AMS
Light Circles
Mouse System
DMSE
Animated title/skip title(trying to get it to work)
Splash Screen

Class Chart:

this is the class chart, it contained the job advancement you can make in my game. The basic class is just the classes of the main characters so read them to find the basic class only one is a advancement class in the character list.

Musics:
http://www.filedropper.com/forestoftime
http://www.filedropper.com/ravenwoodgravemsbd23
http://www.filedropper.com/thesantum
PLEASE NO STEALING OF MUSIC, there are more but i don't have time to upload them.

Credits:

Spoiler

Blizzard
Dubelux
Levanan
lambchop
gameguy
???(I don't know the authors name)
???(I don't know the authors name)
Roelfmik
jbro or something i forgot his name
Msbd23(Ex Musician)

 

[zchin]

This seems a lot similar to my topic before I got the new logo, I guess you don't want to join the team huh? You never replied, anyway not to let you down or anything, but containing all the information an separate spoilers isn't a good thing....

Thank you and have a nice day.

 

[Mooglelow]

Thanks for the advice i edited the post too, i took down all the spoilers and i added a music and class section for the team thing go read your thread.

EDIT:
I finally got the title to work it is made out of skip title and one whole event with a few switches!

 

[Perihelion]

Hi, this forum is for nailing down your concepts, not advertising for team members. You can recruit in Project Discussion once your project is underway.

 

[Crystalgate]

This looks like an fashioned quest of getting all McGuffins and saving the world. I'm OK with that, but your story doesn't seem to well thought trough.

First of, the crystals of light contains among other things the light and darkness? Making darkness a component of light feels rather strange, what would then darkness be made of? Also, including light as a component for light comes of as strange as well. That's kind of like saying "this food contains fat, proteins, vitamins, minerals and food". Consider making them crystals of order or something else that's not part of the components.

The Inurians sent beasts to find the crystals and when the beasts didn't find anything, they started to wreck havoc. How would that help the beasts find the crystals? If some of the beasts wouldn't return at all and others returned wounded by Enluman soldiers, then that decision would have made sense. In this case the Inurians may have figured that they have to keep the armies of the three kingdom busy with something else so that the beasts can do their job unopposed. With the beasts just coming home empty-handed I don't see how a war would change anything.

Also, why are countries of Enluma fighting each other when attacked by Inurians? Sure, the Inurians may have disguised themselves as soldiers of neighboring kingdoms when doing their deeds, but you may want to clarify that.

Next, let's go to the characters. Ulrich is the finest swordsman in his village, but how many swordsmen does a village have? The kingdoms were peaceful before the Inurians caused trouble, so there shouldn't be swordsmen in a village. Also, how did Ulrich become a good swordsman, did the orphanage give the orphans training?

Milly sounds like the standard hero's childhood friend who secretly have a crush on him. Is there anything more to her than that? Also, if she has any offensive spells, you have yet another reason to clarify why a village needs warriors since normally offensive spells wouldn't be of any use for a village.

What kind of intruders does Iya attack? The only enemies I can see is Enimagan, Luminar and Inuro, neither of which an unit of pirates should be able to handle. Also, is she really protecting all ports of Esert with just pirates? If so, then I assume Esert has a very small coastal line. Finally, what did her parents force her to do exactly? If she's born in the Sahnaian clan by Shanaian parents, I'd expect she would become a Shanaian at birth. Did she want to leave and her parents tried to keep her there?

I don't think your story is bad, but it seems to have a lot of holes. You should go trough it and make sure everything makes sense.

Moving away from the story, the pirate class seems to be neglected. For some reason it has only two advancements while all other classes have three of them. One of those advancements already has henry sitting on that spot while the other advancement is shared with the Nomad tree.

 

[zchin]

I'm noticing a lot of similarities between my two game threads, and this one, I'm hating the idea of crystals, but that's just me, I think that the three nations and a hidden place with extinct people, doesn't fit together that well.

Thank you and have a nice day!

 

[Faine]

I think the crystal idea is kida cliche. Other wise I like the idea of the the Inurians. your class chart is kinda simple though its nice how you set it up. But otherwise i like the idea. good luck.

 

[RadethDart]

I made you a logo. :P