Juan J. Sánchez
Sponsor
What the fuck is wrong with you?
Let me currently list some of the most terrifying horrors of the new game in the Metroid canon, Metroid: Other M, for Nintendo Wii.
Don't get me wrong. The game has many other good things, like being able to kick Mother Brain in the ass (3D style), and Samus is as hot as ever. But I've been waiting two decades to hear Samus speak, and I must say she is completely retarded. This, however, can be countered by the fact that apparently everyone in her Universe is also completely retarded.
Other than that, I feel like this little experiment by Nintendo didn't totally work out. You must constantly be switching between FPS and side-scrolling, and it becomes a hazzle. Also, more than often I come across the embarassing situation of not knowing whether I'm stuck in a cut-scene, or actually playing the game.
And what's the deal with puzzles? Metroid has always been about the exploration and the ass-kicking. In this latest installment, there are puzzles virtually in every room, and not enough ass-kicking to satisfy our needs. Besides, many of the classic elements were removed. For instance, you start with some upgrades, such as Morph Ball, Bomb, Power Bomb, Charge Beam, and Missiles. And you don't receive energy and ammunitions from enemies. Instead, you recharge at Save Stations, and can also use a concentration skill to re-stock missiles. Apparently, Samus is very good at making matter appear out of nowhere.
Seriously, what the hell were you thinking Nintendo?
Let me currently list some of the most terrifying horrors of the new game in the Metroid canon, Metroid: Other M, for Nintendo Wii.
- A. Samus is portrayed as scared little girl with daddy issues.
B. It's a weird mixture of side-scrolling and FPS.
C. Too many puzzles.
D. Other characters are one-dimensional stereotypes.
E. Not nearly enough zero-suit Samus.
Don't get me wrong. The game has many other good things, like being able to kick Mother Brain in the ass (3D style), and Samus is as hot as ever. But I've been waiting two decades to hear Samus speak, and I must say she is completely retarded. This, however, can be countered by the fact that apparently everyone in her Universe is also completely retarded.
Other than that, I feel like this little experiment by Nintendo didn't totally work out. You must constantly be switching between FPS and side-scrolling, and it becomes a hazzle. Also, more than often I come across the embarassing situation of not knowing whether I'm stuck in a cut-scene, or actually playing the game.
And what's the deal with puzzles? Metroid has always been about the exploration and the ass-kicking. In this latest installment, there are puzzles virtually in every room, and not enough ass-kicking to satisfy our needs. Besides, many of the classic elements were removed. For instance, you start with some upgrades, such as Morph Ball, Bomb, Power Bomb, Charge Beam, and Missiles. And you don't receive energy and ammunitions from enemies. Instead, you recharge at Save Stations, and can also use a concentration skill to re-stock missiles. Apparently, Samus is very good at making matter appear out of nowhere.
Seriously, what the hell were you thinking Nintendo?