This is a work of literature dealing with mature themes and is uncensored. It is not meant for immature readers.
Failing
By Daxis
By Daxis
I watched with a grim face as the soldiers occupied what was left of the village. All the major weapons and artillery, such as tanks and missiles, had been kept back at the field, and were to be inspected soon enough. The Resistance were all either defeated or injured, although our side didn't fare that much better. There were still the higher ups of the Resistance to find. Some info stated that one of the leaders was in the village, but I doubt that he would still be here, after all that fighting.
I glanced around sullenly. I'm not used to war, I'll admit. I'm not used to it at all. It was just pure plain luck that a greenhorn like me managed to survive, despite being frontline infantry. Even more so, I barely have a scar anywhere, and only the tiredness in my bones and the blood and dust on my uniform manages to tell anyone that I was in the battle.
I glanced down at my gun. I didn't have the rifle; I'd lost it somewhere while fighting. I don't remember where. I don't want to remember where. Sometime after I realized I had lost the rifle, I had reverted to using the gun, and I rather think it served me well.
I sat down. I didn't know what to do. After the... battle, and the necessary procedures were finished, I and some others, were told to go off and do whatever we want, waiting for some orders that were to come tomorrow or something. I'm not sure what to do. Every time that I close my eyes, I remember the fighting, and it makes me sick.
Shaking my head, I look around. The village seemed like it was sort of peaceful, before the war and everything. I remember my own home, a nice place in nowheresville. I don't have any particular animosity for it, but I left anyways. Stupid old me, enlisting into the army when a war was pending. It was stupid. It was just so damn stupid.
Glancing up, I saw one of my fellow soldiers, Elton. The guy was sorta a bastard, really. He was pretty good in the army, in the training and all of that, but the guy annoyed a lot of the people around him. I think I saved him in the battle we were just in, although I'm not really sure; the memories are halfway fuzzy.
I widened my eyes as I saw what he was doing. I frowned, and ran forward.
"What the hell?" I exclaimed to him, my anger barely contained in my voice.
Elton glanced at me. "Yo, Jacob, glad to see you survived." His voice was light and cheery, as if we were still back at the base and training had just finished. His smile was similar, although there were one or two scars that marred across his face.
"Don't ignore me," I told him. "What the hell are you doing?"
He glanced down. The girl was about nine or ten years old. Her skin was slightly more tanned than either Elton's or mine, marking her as one of the natives of this village. What was also interesting was the bruises she suffered on her face, the fact that her shirt seemed ripped off, and the defeated look in her eyes as she stared down and cried.
"Oh this?" he said. "I'm about to fuck her ass," he told me, calmly and with the same smile as from before. "I saw her at the edge of the village while fighting, and again when we'd rested, and I totally needed to fuck her, I knew."
I grasped his jacket, pulled him to me, and screamed, "What the fuck?!"
Taking me by surprise, the guy dropped the girl to the ground, and then punched me. I was stunned, and I felt a tooth jar in my mouth. Staggering back, I saw the girl on the ground, dropped like some object. She struggled to get up, but then Elton kicked her down.
"She's the fuck," Elton told me, laughing. "That's exactly it, she's the fuck."
"You sick bastard," I yelled at him. "We're just occupying this village, what the hell..."
"What exactly do you think this is?" Elton said to me, the grin on his face leaving for a moment, the mask of sanity cracking. "This is war, you dumb shit, and I'm about to reap the benefits of it."
"This is insane," I said, "She's probably not even ten years old!"
"Why do you think I have such a boner for her ass in the first place?" Elton flicked at the bulge in his pants, and I stared at him, my mouth gaping. "I couldn't really do this in the States without getting caught and shit, and sneaking around and burying bodies gets old after a while." A sick and heavy feeling appeared in my stomach as I realized what he was talking about. "Why the fuck do you think I joined the army in the first place?"
"You're a pedophile," I said, realizing it completely true. "You've... you've done this before." I gulped.
"Our secret," Elton said, suddenly grinning and putting his index finger to his lips. Turning around, he kept walking, and picked up the girl, her resistance futile. He cheerily whistled as he did so.
I couldn't believe this. I ran forward, ignored the pain, and grasped Elton. I punched him, forcing him to drop the girl again. I didn't stop, and tried to strike him again. Elton, despite the daze from being suddenly hit, avoided my second blow, and then replied with a fist into my gut. He jabbed an elbow into my face, knocking me down, and kicked me in the gut.
"You know, Jacob, you were always something of a greenhorn bastard in my mind," Elton casually told me. He took out a cigarette and a lighter, and lit it. I didn't even know he had one. "You were barely eighteen before you signed up for the army, right? There's only a five year difference between us, but it seems like you don't know jack shit about life.
"Let me explain, you've annoyed me enough," Elton told me. He kicked me once more, and I believe I spat out blood. He kneeled down, and blew the cigarette smoke in my face. "You know the Congress and the President that, you know, sent us here in the first place?" Elton flicked my nose. "Yeah they don't really care about us in the first place, you know? I mean, we're just one out of thousands and thousands of troops. They know us as a whole, as a statistic, but not who we are. We are tools, Jacob, that's all we are. We're fighting, we're dying, and we're fucking."
"We're fighting for peace," I managed. "We're here as tools to save everyone."
"Ha!" Elton laughed. "That's the best you can do? Really, fighting to stop the fighting. How fucking sensible. How about the next time there's a fire, set another fire! Ha!"
"You're just sick," I said. "What the fuck do you think you are talking about, do you think you are doing? We're here to end the war, not to screw little kids!"
"That's what you're here for," Elton said. "You're here as a fucking tool of the US of A, acronyms for 'You Suck Ass.'"
"We're not tools," I argued. "We're humans trying to end a war."
"Yet treated as a tool," Elton continued, feeling in his voice. "what does that mean? Does that mean I am a tool? Does that mean that I shouldn't get any time to relax? Does that mean that I'm not allowed to screw little kiddies?"
My eyes widened at that. "What the hell, nothing gives you that right."
Elton decked me in the face, without even changing the composure on his face. "Rape is a trophy of war, Jacob; I think you should realize this." He smoked the cigarette, sighing at its satisfaction. "History says so. You know that women in our military are more likely to be raped by their fellow soldiers than shot by enemy fire? Ha!"
"There..." I said, panting, "There is still... nothing that gives you the right for such atrocity."
"Big words," Elton said. "Atrocity. Tell me, who the hell gives you the right to kill someone?" I stayed silent, tears in my eyes. "Congress? What, fat white guys in their chair some couple thousand miles away gives me the right to kill? Some old decrepit man in some White House has the right to play with lives?" Elton stood up. "Nothing gives me the right to do this shit. Nothing gives me, the fucking "right," to kill, to murder, to rape, to do anything. Rights are given, motherfucker, by people that have no right to give them in the first place. Rights are given, motherfucker, by power."
"Many would disagree, motherfucker," I replied, trying to push myself up.
"Many more would agree, if they just open their eyes to the fact that they are shits," Elton said. Kicking me down one last time, he turned around, and started for the young village girl. She had not moved from the second time she was dropped.
"I'm going to kill you," I told Elton.
"Who give you the right?" Elton laughs.
Walking away, Elton stripped the girl of the bare pants that she was wearing. I closed my eyes, not wanting to see this.
I brought my hand down, my arms that were zapped of their strength. Digging around for a moment, I pulled up the gun, the gun that had brought me through the battle.
I aimed it at his head. My arm was shaking. I barely had the power to hold the gun, but I was confident I could kill him.
Maybe. I wince, my aim unsteady.
I don't know. I will probably be sent to prison. I will probably miss. I... don't know.
As Elton started to enter a small building, to do his despicable deed, I pulled the trigger with my last bit of strength.
Die, I thought.
There was a click.
The barrel was empty.
I'd used it all, to kill others and save my life.
My arm fell to the ground, and I tightly closed my eyes and ears.
I glanced around sullenly. I'm not used to war, I'll admit. I'm not used to it at all. It was just pure plain luck that a greenhorn like me managed to survive, despite being frontline infantry. Even more so, I barely have a scar anywhere, and only the tiredness in my bones and the blood and dust on my uniform manages to tell anyone that I was in the battle.
I glanced down at my gun. I didn't have the rifle; I'd lost it somewhere while fighting. I don't remember where. I don't want to remember where. Sometime after I realized I had lost the rifle, I had reverted to using the gun, and I rather think it served me well.
I sat down. I didn't know what to do. After the... battle, and the necessary procedures were finished, I and some others, were told to go off and do whatever we want, waiting for some orders that were to come tomorrow or something. I'm not sure what to do. Every time that I close my eyes, I remember the fighting, and it makes me sick.
Shaking my head, I look around. The village seemed like it was sort of peaceful, before the war and everything. I remember my own home, a nice place in nowheresville. I don't have any particular animosity for it, but I left anyways. Stupid old me, enlisting into the army when a war was pending. It was stupid. It was just so damn stupid.
Glancing up, I saw one of my fellow soldiers, Elton. The guy was sorta a bastard, really. He was pretty good in the army, in the training and all of that, but the guy annoyed a lot of the people around him. I think I saved him in the battle we were just in, although I'm not really sure; the memories are halfway fuzzy.
I widened my eyes as I saw what he was doing. I frowned, and ran forward.
"What the hell?" I exclaimed to him, my anger barely contained in my voice.
Elton glanced at me. "Yo, Jacob, glad to see you survived." His voice was light and cheery, as if we were still back at the base and training had just finished. His smile was similar, although there were one or two scars that marred across his face.
"Don't ignore me," I told him. "What the hell are you doing?"
He glanced down. The girl was about nine or ten years old. Her skin was slightly more tanned than either Elton's or mine, marking her as one of the natives of this village. What was also interesting was the bruises she suffered on her face, the fact that her shirt seemed ripped off, and the defeated look in her eyes as she stared down and cried.
"Oh this?" he said. "I'm about to fuck her ass," he told me, calmly and with the same smile as from before. "I saw her at the edge of the village while fighting, and again when we'd rested, and I totally needed to fuck her, I knew."
I grasped his jacket, pulled him to me, and screamed, "What the fuck?!"
Taking me by surprise, the guy dropped the girl to the ground, and then punched me. I was stunned, and I felt a tooth jar in my mouth. Staggering back, I saw the girl on the ground, dropped like some object. She struggled to get up, but then Elton kicked her down.
"She's the fuck," Elton told me, laughing. "That's exactly it, she's the fuck."
"You sick bastard," I yelled at him. "We're just occupying this village, what the hell..."
"What exactly do you think this is?" Elton said to me, the grin on his face leaving for a moment, the mask of sanity cracking. "This is war, you dumb shit, and I'm about to reap the benefits of it."
"This is insane," I said, "She's probably not even ten years old!"
"Why do you think I have such a boner for her ass in the first place?" Elton flicked at the bulge in his pants, and I stared at him, my mouth gaping. "I couldn't really do this in the States without getting caught and shit, and sneaking around and burying bodies gets old after a while." A sick and heavy feeling appeared in my stomach as I realized what he was talking about. "Why the fuck do you think I joined the army in the first place?"
"You're a pedophile," I said, realizing it completely true. "You've... you've done this before." I gulped.
"Our secret," Elton said, suddenly grinning and putting his index finger to his lips. Turning around, he kept walking, and picked up the girl, her resistance futile. He cheerily whistled as he did so.
I couldn't believe this. I ran forward, ignored the pain, and grasped Elton. I punched him, forcing him to drop the girl again. I didn't stop, and tried to strike him again. Elton, despite the daze from being suddenly hit, avoided my second blow, and then replied with a fist into my gut. He jabbed an elbow into my face, knocking me down, and kicked me in the gut.
"You know, Jacob, you were always something of a greenhorn bastard in my mind," Elton casually told me. He took out a cigarette and a lighter, and lit it. I didn't even know he had one. "You were barely eighteen before you signed up for the army, right? There's only a five year difference between us, but it seems like you don't know jack shit about life.
"Let me explain, you've annoyed me enough," Elton told me. He kicked me once more, and I believe I spat out blood. He kneeled down, and blew the cigarette smoke in my face. "You know the Congress and the President that, you know, sent us here in the first place?" Elton flicked my nose. "Yeah they don't really care about us in the first place, you know? I mean, we're just one out of thousands and thousands of troops. They know us as a whole, as a statistic, but not who we are. We are tools, Jacob, that's all we are. We're fighting, we're dying, and we're fucking."
"We're fighting for peace," I managed. "We're here as tools to save everyone."
"Ha!" Elton laughed. "That's the best you can do? Really, fighting to stop the fighting. How fucking sensible. How about the next time there's a fire, set another fire! Ha!"
"You're just sick," I said. "What the fuck do you think you are talking about, do you think you are doing? We're here to end the war, not to screw little kids!"
"That's what you're here for," Elton said. "You're here as a fucking tool of the US of A, acronyms for 'You Suck Ass.'"
"We're not tools," I argued. "We're humans trying to end a war."
"Yet treated as a tool," Elton continued, feeling in his voice. "what does that mean? Does that mean I am a tool? Does that mean that I shouldn't get any time to relax? Does that mean that I'm not allowed to screw little kiddies?"
My eyes widened at that. "What the hell, nothing gives you that right."
Elton decked me in the face, without even changing the composure on his face. "Rape is a trophy of war, Jacob; I think you should realize this." He smoked the cigarette, sighing at its satisfaction. "History says so. You know that women in our military are more likely to be raped by their fellow soldiers than shot by enemy fire? Ha!"
"There..." I said, panting, "There is still... nothing that gives you the right for such atrocity."
"Big words," Elton said. "Atrocity. Tell me, who the hell gives you the right to kill someone?" I stayed silent, tears in my eyes. "Congress? What, fat white guys in their chair some couple thousand miles away gives me the right to kill? Some old decrepit man in some White House has the right to play with lives?" Elton stood up. "Nothing gives me the right to do this shit. Nothing gives me, the fucking "right," to kill, to murder, to rape, to do anything. Rights are given, motherfucker, by people that have no right to give them in the first place. Rights are given, motherfucker, by power."
"Many would disagree, motherfucker," I replied, trying to push myself up.
"Many more would agree, if they just open their eyes to the fact that they are shits," Elton said. Kicking me down one last time, he turned around, and started for the young village girl. She had not moved from the second time she was dropped.
"I'm going to kill you," I told Elton.
"Who give you the right?" Elton laughs.
Walking away, Elton stripped the girl of the bare pants that she was wearing. I closed my eyes, not wanting to see this.
I brought my hand down, my arms that were zapped of their strength. Digging around for a moment, I pulled up the gun, the gun that had brought me through the battle.
I aimed it at his head. My arm was shaking. I barely had the power to hold the gun, but I was confident I could kill him.
Maybe. I wince, my aim unsteady.
I don't know. I will probably be sent to prison. I will probably miss. I... don't know.
As Elton started to enter a small building, to do his despicable deed, I pulled the trigger with my last bit of strength.
Die, I thought.
There was a click.
The barrel was empty.
I'd used it all, to kill others and save my life.
My arm fell to the ground, and I tightly closed my eyes and ears.
