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LINUS [90 Minute Demo now available.]

L I N U S



New Demo: http://www.mediafire.com/download/r326f ... e+Demo.rar



Introduction

LINUS is a project I've been working on for quite a long time. It's a story-driven game focused primarily on drama. My main goal with LINUS is to tell a memorable story. This is mainly because writing and world-building are my favorite aspects of creating games. While the game will feature battles and puzzles, they will be a bit light in number. Thus, I would think that people who prefer more gameplay in their games won't enjoy it as much as people who like to experience a well-told story.



World Overview

The world the story takes place in is both similar to ours yet very different.

The most prominent feature of this world, and perhaps the most mysterious to all of the world's cultures, is the presence of a massive storm which has eternally permeated the western skies for as long as humanity has existed. The storm, known by many names, is an ominous dark mass which has befuddled the human population of the planet for eons. Not one person has ever navigated through it as those foolish enough to attempt it have all lost their lives in the process.

The Storm is looked upon with different perspectives by different cultures. Some believe it to be the place where the dead congregate, while others even go as far as worshiping it as a kind of living deity. Whatever the people believe, no one can fathom what lies beyond the western skies.


The people of the world are a mish-mash of different real-life civilizations and cultures. The range of the world's countries is pretty extensive, with civilizations ranging from ancient Spain to modern-day Africa being used as "inspirational sources". Even though the world is very large, the player won't visit each and every one of these countries (you will hear about and meet characters who hail from these places however). The reason being that the story of LINUS does not involve in any way the saving of the planet, so visiting these places without a good reason is kind of unrealistic.

Instead, the story is centered around the most ancient civilization in the known world: The Empire of Terragama.




Story Overview

The storyline of LINUS centers around the most ancient and wartorn empire of Terragama. The game's story in itself is basically the history of this empire as it intwines around the destiny of one person. That person is the main character, a man by the name of Linus Milhaven.

Linus Milhaven is a man who's life is tied to a cruel and violent legend. The people of Terragama curse his name for the actions he commited during the latter years of his life. His story is one that every soul in Terragama claims to know all too well. It's conclusion brought about the catalyst that has resulted in the dark age the people of the empire currently find themselves in.

Still, despite the terrible crimes which he has commited, not everyone in the empire curses at Linus' memory...

His mother, now an old woman, remembers the bright, loving, and intelligent boy she once called her son. Now in her fading years, Emily Milhaven has set out on a journey to write her son's final remembrance: A biography that will showcase Linus' journey from a bright and promising adolescence to a dark and murderous future.



Terragama Overview

The Empire of Terragama is an ancient, spiritual civilization not unlike the old empires of our own ancient world. It is the oldest empire in humankind, said to be founded man thousands of years ago. It is located on the westernmost continent of the known world. This continent is the largest landmass, and is the closest to the mythical storm which darkens the skies over the western sea. Because of their close presence to the storm, the people of this land have worshiped it since the founding of their empire.

Terragama is divided into nine vastly different kingdoms, while an emperor/empress typically rules over all. The nine kingdoms each have different laws and customs, but all swear fealty and obey the kingdom of Lorimaris, which is the historical home of the empress/emperor.

For many of the Empire's kingdoms, a strict class system dominates daily life. At the bottom of this social pyramid are slaves brought in from underdeveloped countries to serve as labor for the typical Terragaman family. Slightly above the slaves are the people known as Wards, a modern-day term used for the men and women hailing from the kingdoms which revolted against Lorimaris in a civil war that took place 15 years ago. Wards have very few rights, are not allowed to own land, and are treated with a general scorn for their part in rebelling against Lorimaris during the civil war.

Above the lower echelons of the class pyramid are the regular folks. Farmers, artisans, vendors, soldiers, and the like are grouped into this tier. They make up most of the Terragaman population.

High above every other class are the Great Houses-- ancient, powerful families who hold considerable influence over every facet of Terragaman society. The Great Houses are all at least a thousand years old, and are considered the nobility of the empire. Terragama is a culture which values tradition and the "old ways" above all else, thus those who are descended from "ancient blood" are held in high esteem. Politics, the economy, and most areas of government are dominated by the Great Houses. They serve as the leaders of the Terragaman people.

As powerful as the Great Houses are, none compare to the two most powerful and ancient families of Terragama. The first being House Lunet, also known as the "The First Family". They are the sovereign dynasty who have ruled the mighty kingdom of Lorimaris and therefore the entire Empire for thousands of years.

The second such family is House Milhaven, a dynasty of warriors as old as House Lunet itself. The members of the Milhaven family hold the most exteemed rank of commanders of Lorimaris' all-powerful army, a group of highly trained knights known as The Spire. They have served as
House Lunet's champions ever since the founding of the empire.



Cast


Linus Milhaven
Age: Starts the story at age 9.
Birthdate: 3rd of Mistfall, 1900
Birthplace: Belen, Lorimaris

The first born son to Teign and Emily Milhaven. A sullen yet likeable child who spent most of his childhood in the reknowned Etonmarch Military School. He is a caring and highly intelligent boy who has trouble coming to grips with the future that the empire has planned for him. From an early age, he has been groomed to follow in his father's footsteps as the strong and capable leader of the Spire, Lorimaris' powerful military. His purpose, as it was ingrained into him, is to serve the sovereige Lunet family as their champion and protector. Linus however, dreams of a life filled with less responsibility. What he wants most in this world, is the freedom to live the type of live he envisions for himself.



Teign Milhaven
Age: 41
Birthdate: 13th of Moonrise, 1868
Birthplace: Belen, Lorimaris

The legendary knight who brought peace to the warring empire during the Reunion War. He is the father of the three current-generation Milhaven brothers: Leigh, Linus, and Ariston.

He was born in Lorimaris, during the apex of the century-long civil war which had seen the once peaceful empire torn asunder by malevolent kings and their power struggles. Lorimaris, the former ruling kingdom of Terragama, had been reduced to the level of it's peer kingdoms due to the poor kingship of it's sovereign, Tiberius Lunet. King Tiberius, who was a weak-willed and some would say cowardly individual in comparison to his ancestors, forbid Lorimaris' intervention during the war. No matter how many deaths arose from the war between the eight kingdoms, Tiberius would not relent in his isolationist ideals. However, it was the king's children who inherited the traditional House Lunet cunning, and plotted to overtake the empire and restore it to the prosperity it enjoyed when it was under their family's rule. All it took was time, as the twin sisters Athelia and Amadea were the inheritors of the Lorimaran throne.

Teign, a member of House Milhaven (House Lunet's traditional champions), grew up with the royal Lunet children, and became quiet close to the twin sisters. Athelia, a little girl who by the age of nine already possessed the dangerous natural gifts of her family, was smitten with the young Milhaven boy, who loved her in return. As the two of them grew to become lovers in their teenaged years, King Tiberius' health deteriorated, and the Lunet sisters became the ruling monarchs of Lorimaris.

By the time the Lunet sisters waged their war against the eight kingdoms, Teign had grown into a powerful and feared knight. He took leadership of the Spire, the great army of men loyal only to House Milhaven, and waged the sisters' campaign to reclaim their family's empire. One by one, the eight kingdoms fell to his sword, and four years since the campaign began the empire finally returned to it's rightful place under House Lunet's rule.

The campaign however, was not a victory for Teign. During those four years, he was subject to terrible experiences which took a heavy toll on his emotional and physical state. On more than one occassion, he was forced into murdering children who were conscripted by enemy monarchs. This caused the stirring of a dark hurt within him, as he and Athelia's son Leigh was but a child during the campaign. Thus, he voiced his displeasure with Athelia during the war's end, and was in turn called a coward and weakling by the woman he had so loved.

By the time he had remarried and his second son Linus was born, Teign was a shadow of his former self. Despite only being 41 years of age, the war had aged him terribly. His skills in the ways of war have faded considerably, and though he still acts as the acting commander of the Spire, many wonder if he still has it in him to lead the empire's army.




Screenshots

Prologue

ryder.png

konstantinfight.png

talis.png

Osvald.png

Helios.png


Chapter I
volatilebrother.png

palebastard.png

summermilhaven.png

chest.png

Video

Chapter 1 : The Lake Cavern
Here's a little video I put together. It's a short preview of one of the dungeons in Chapter 1. The music in the video is a first-draft of one of the songs Joerao composed for the game's soundtrack. I think it sounds pretty good, even in it's early state.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gJj_tdt_EiM


Chapter I : Memories

Another video featuring Joerao's composed music.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VwFeg5AKkWk


[url="http://www.mediafire.com/download/r326fb3sf0b74fr/Linus+Prologue+Demo.rar[/url]

Features

- Sideviewbattle system.
- A realistic, dramatic storyline with a large cast of nuanced characters.
- Lengthy and involved optional sidequests which enhance the storyline of the main plot.




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looks pretty interesting! I look forward to downloading it. I like the menu, did you make that yourself or just use an existing script?
 
Thanks for the comments everybody.

Diedrupo, the menu comes from the FFIX menu script. I just edited the graphics to look a bit different.
 
Hmmm looks pretty good, I see you have many hours to spare XD
Anyway im looking forward to your demo, the storyline and in-depth world info is very comprehensive... But I have to correct you about 1 thing and point out several more.
The regular folks aren't consisted of merchants... They are usually the more middle-upper class if not THE upper class... Usually families gain their fortune, wealth and power through trades... You might be confusing the merchant in the "regular" class with vendor, which are nothing more then shopkeepers and such... Merchants are usually pretty wealthy...
Another thing I should point out is a suggestion. Many people are turned off because of this massive amount of text, and I want to see all of it in your game, so I would suggest you not to show it as messages, but write it as a text on a parchment or something and show it as a picture in the game. They would be able to read those texts from items they gain (manuscripts and books maybe?)... A library or something would enhance the role-and-play lovers excitement so they would be able to read those texts while hack-and-slash fans wouldn't need to endure this, and would just go kill monsters and stuff...
Emm last thing, you should present the storyline, at least the section that describes what happens in the game (linus's mother going to write his biography), more appealingly... I think that writing a biography doesn't sound like a super-massive-fun adventure. But those are just my suggestions...
The plot looks promising, and I hope the game itself will be as thorough and invested at least as the plot is. Keep up the good work and keep me updated...
 
Thanks for the pretty significant post, killergermel.

You were right about the merchant-thing. I did mean to use a word more closely related to "vendor". Thanks for pointing it out.

As for the text, I agree with you. The text presented here is solely for the topic. It's only to give the readers a bit of insight on how the world is. In-game, the game won't force you to read all of this stuff. You'll get this information from optional sources (like npcs, books, ect).

The main storyline/gameplay is Linus' actual life. You won't play as his mother or anything. It's a bit difficult to explain, but the storyline the player plays through *is* Linus' biography that his mother has written. The overarching narrative of his biography is there just to connect the game to possible sequels and such.

I know I should've put more details about the actual game plot. I'm actually writing this portion of the topic sporadically (I started working again, so I don't have much time). I'll post this section and some more character profiles soon.

Thanks for the feedback by the way. I really appreciate you taking the time to write your reply.
 

moog

Sponsor

what why does this not have more traffic it looks pretty sweet to me!

screens look pretty good, as does the overall presentation, which really drew me in. The story sounds pretty good too, but maybe a little more would be helpful :D

overall, this looks pretty nice. very original style in the plot and development, cant wait to see a demo!
 
So yeah this game looks really cool

Seriously, it's fresh and original. The characters don't strike me as overused or boring and I like the fact that you've put a lot of effort into developing your world and its people. I'm not a big fan of your facesets, though; they seem to clash more than they should, especially since some are RTP and some are not. It's not a huge deal or anything but it might be something you'd want to look into, getting them to look more similar. (actually when I look at them more they're not that much different at all. You do seem to have some issues with the quality though, because unless it's just me I can see some pixels in a few places such as the top of Osvald's beard) Overall though the screns look good and they have a nice atmosphere to them. I especially like the fact that I can actually see the nighttime screens!
 
John Egbert,

First off, thanks for the comments man! I have spent alot of time formulating this world and it's characters. Though I can't say that the characters aren't at least a bit stereotypical. They're built off of stereotypes of course, but have some nuances that make them a bit more unique and interesting (I hope).

Anyway, about the faces. I know it's kind of a problem having them not match up 100% with eachother. Unfortunately, this is problem that will probably not be addressed fully, since the SRW facesets I'm working with don't accomodate some of the characters. For this reason, I'm using different facesets for some characters. I will try and edit them to look more similiar, though I don't know how well I'll do, since I'm absolute crap with photoshop.

Also, I've recoloured most of the SRW faces I'm using. This affects the overall quality of them since I'm not all that good of a digital artist. If I can find someone to help me recolour some of the faces without them looking terrible, it would be awesome. For now though, I'm concentrating on getting the demo finished.

Thanks again. Cheers!
 
Probably the first time in ages that I've seen such a well-thought out project that looks like it took ALOT of effort. I give a lot of props for this. Every idea flows, screenshots are flawless, originality, loving it. You took a different path towards a good game, I myself love action-based games, but if you make a very well story-telling game like this will make out to be, I'll try to finish it in about a week.

Anyways, back on topic, great game, keep working on it. A++ so far.
 
My game is very story driven as well, so i'm keeping my eye on this game. Screenshots look okay but you have quiet some mapping errors with shadows and grass. The story looks promising, i'm waiting for a demo :p
 
Hey there,

I saw your thread "Looking for some writing help." and had some thoughts about dialogue, but this seemed a more appropriate place to post that.

Are you interested in doing the work of writing/improving your dialogue, or is that not so much your thing (and thus only really looking for someone to help write)? Even if it's the latter, it is of course useful to improve. Observing conversation and watching video is a good suggestion, though I would steer you in the direction of looking critically at drama and literature, because normal conversation doesn't necessarily make good dialogue. You need it sound natural, of course, but the majority of it should be designed to either show things about the character or move the story forward, or both.

I read the dialogue in the screenshots. I haven't read anything so far except for the dialogue, so I'm looking at the characters and scenes only by what's there. I agree it's passable, though just the fact that you're unsatisfied with it shows you've got a little bit of intuition. The thing that struck me most is that it's formulaic. Not every part of it needs to be "spiced up" per se. Characters in a heated argument need not say anything fancy to get their point across. For example:
"Deschanel... Please... The war is over! Only death awaits these men if they stay here! You will not send these young men to their graves!"
I think this is generally effective, and in real life people will even be redundant when arguing, though in drama you could cut the sentence "Only death awaits..." because the next sentence has essentially the same information. I don't know what the next sentence is ("So many of our..."), although it seems like the beginning of a reflective statement (eg. "So many of our men have died already"). If it is, it weakens the emotion behind the "You will not!" statement. Think of it like a symphony, which builds up to a crescendo. A reflective statement would work better before an emphatic one. If you say something like, "So many have died already... You will not send more!" the end is much stronger. I like that it's not a request, but a command. The exception would be if you want the character to start angry, but then back off and become sad. (Of course, if the statement is something more emphatic, like "So many of our leaders have been idiots like you!" then it would make sense to come after.)

"Are we slaves or are we free men?!" works where it is, and though it's a little cliche sounding, it seems like just the type of statement a captain would make to rally troops. In this case, cliche can actually be saying something about this character -- he's stuck in his ways, stubborn, a certain type of thinking. It works best if you bring it to the forefront by contrasting it with another character's dialog. Depending on the tone of the story, it could be, "Yeah, yeah, yeah, slaves, whatever," or "Ha! That's such baloney!" The tone is a little more serious and formal, though, so "Deschanel, please" works as a nice quiet statement in response to the hawkish one. I think it would add even more contrast if "The war is over" ends curtly with a period. Also, I think "?!" seems out of place in somewhat formal dialogue like this. "??" might fit better, trusting the words themselves to carry some of the emphasis.

Another way to make dialogue more interesting, in my opinion, is to find less direct ways of saying things about the characters. Take the screenshot of Konstantin saying, "You are no stranger to butchery yourself." I've seen this kind of statement a lot, in video games, in movies, etc. It's perfectly functional. It's common. It's direct. But I think it would be more creative to have him start by just saying something like, "Hypocrite." If it's important to the story to have a conflict about it right then,* he could be pressed to continue and give away more detail about it. But you could also have little said about it, just enough to show it's significant and reveal more later.
*Konstantin's snarky comments are also implying something about his character. He's taking this moment, interrupting whatever else is going on, to be insulting, to pick a fight. This is not a bad way to show this about his character. It might even be the best way. But there may be other ways, other opportunities, or even subtle ways to reinforce it. Think about it consciously, as a goal. Maybe even write down a list of ways you can show a given aspect of Konstantin, such as self-centeredness. Little things, like not tipping the waitress/bartender, or stepping on a kid's sand castle by accident (from not caring enough to pay attention) and being unapologetic.

Hopefully you can find someone to work with you on all the dialogue, but whether you do or don't I hope I've given you some stuff to think about. :)
 
I watched the intro until the characters start talking. It was very impressive. But then, I see no text, only empty text windows? Am I missing some font?
 
^ The font is Cambria. It comes with windows vista.

UPDATE: I uploaded a new link with the errors fixed. It also includes the font for those who dont have it.
 

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