Kiss of the Serpent

[brainstorm]

Introduction
"The world of Astal. A remnant of what it once was. The bloodshed of a great man remains a constant reminder of the suffering that is and will be forever. The great man of Country Koronel who brought prosperity to all. The greatest man throughout all of Koronel's History, and now he has passed. A successor walked to his throne. He's known as a god to most, an angel to some, a king by little, and a traitor by us. The Serpentine." - Isaiah Rololo

Scenario
Equator Island Country in the world of Astal, Koronel. Koronel is largely known for it's major Sandfalls and split government. The Serpentine live in the west, where Monarchy reigns. Westerner's are prevented from ever going to the eastern side no matter what, and vise versa with Easterners. Koronel's last King was assassinated not too long ago. A new king, King Apres was his successor as you, know. Ever since King Apres came to the throne, Isabella Province, became a hellhole, so to speak. The City become isolated. All trade routes were cut. All Water routes were destroyed. Everything was in ruin.

Characters
http://img225.imageshack.us/img225/7342 ... rahuc8.png[/img]Cruxis Azrah ~ Age 20 - A usually shy boy that lives to take care of his dying mother and villagers. Well informed with information about the towns families.

http://img98.imageshack.us/img98/686/kirabd3.png[/img]Kira ~ Age 7 - A puppy that accompanies Cruxis and Kilala. Entertains the party. (Trying to figure out a way to make the character important)

http://img227.imageshack.us/img227/6736 ... graun7.png[/img]Kilala Negra ~ Age 21 - A outgoing girl who loves to mess with people but is overly serious when it comes to matters of the government. She is the daughter of the Mayor of the Isabella Province in which they live. She is also the LEADER of the Serpentine.

http://img261.imageshack.us/img261/5573 ... olovm8.png[/img]Isaiah Rololo ~ Age 26 - Has a huge sense of humor and loves to play around. He is a master miner, which is a powerful asset to Serpentine considering the current cituation.

http://img261.imageshack.us/img261/4210 ... olopz3.png[/img]Cortez Rololo ~ Age 18 - He is a double agent. He works for the government but pledged to the Serpentine. Apparently he knows nothing of the government beyond the fact that he has to block all contact between the city and the outside world. He is a member of the Serpentine.

Features
These may not be features, but They are future plans. I could use a few pointers though, as this is the first real game.

• Strategy Based Battle
• Full Journal including Beastiary, Characters, Notes, and Maps.
• Challenging Dungeons
• Intense Story Line

Credits and Thanks
All Credits are In-Game. Everyone who helped with the strategic battles topic, got in the credits as well.

Special Thanks go to DeM0nFire, Cygnea, and Diedrupo.

Author's Notes
I am really determined to finish this game. Whether I do it in parts or not I really want to finish a game. It's getting kinda frustrating that I can't ever finish a decent one.

Screenshots

Spoiler: Screenshots

http://img180.imageshack.us/img180/5450/kotsscreen01wp2.png[/img]

http://img512.imageshack.us/img512/3342 ... n02ph9.png[/img]

http://img127.imageshack.us/img127/1645 ... n03nv1.png[/img]

http://img127.imageshack.us/img127/1071 ... n04nv8.png[/img]

http://img141.imageshack.us/img141/2858 ... n05bd7.png[/img]

http://img48.imageshack.us/img48/5617/k ... n06zy1.png[/img]

More to come...


Demo

If you would like to play this game, please pm me, I'd gladly give it to you. It's unavailable right now, due to "maintenance" if you will.

Hints and Tips

Tips on Progressing through the game.

Spoiler: Progressing

My game is based on information. You'll need talk to multiple people in the game, sometimes more than once. Make sure you converse with everyone or you'll most get stuck within the game. It's also a good idea to use any and all resources at hand, especially Kira's instincts. They'll help a lot when scavenging for items and such.

The next few unlockables may contain spoilers. By looking at them, you agree that you've played the game at least once beforehand.

Spoiler: Flamerend

I'm sure that you can get this secret weapon by beating a certain enemy, but if you want it the easy way, you must download a special version of the game that I haven't released at RMXP.org as of yet. To get it all you have you have to do is make your way to the room before Vizier Negra's. Then make your way left to a door to the bridge above the city. Keep walking and you'll enter a room where you can find the Flamerend Weapon in a chest in the bottom right hand corner.

EDIT::: There is an alternate way of getting the weapon. All you have to do is find and defeat an enemy named Basilisk. The Flamerend is a 20% drop.

The Flamerend can only be used by Kira

Spoiler: Aura Overwave

The Aura Overwave is a weapon that Cortez uses in the first battle. This weapon is drop weapon that you can only get from defeating Cortez. The probability is EXTREMELY LOW so I'd suggest saving before the battle just to have multiple shots at getting it.

The Aura Overwave can only be used by Cruxis and Kilala

Spoiler: Ethereal Wake

The Ethereal Wake weapon is Cruxis Ultima Weapon, capable of killing several if not all monsters in one hit. This weapon can be found in Chapter 1 during the cutscene between Hani, Qudamah, and the Sahagan. As soon as Hani says: "Huh? What's that?!" You will be able to move as Hani, himself, but whatever you do, do not press C. Walk left 3 times, And walk up (or walk to that specific cupboard) until you believe you've gotten the weapon. Then walk right 3 times (Where Hani Originated) and then press C. If you did it right, when you appear in Kalibur City, after the cutscene, there should be a block of test that says "Obtained Ethereal Wake". If you do not return to Hani's Original Position there will be a fake error: "Script 'Ethereal Wake' Line 1: SyntaxError occurred".

The Ethereal Wake can only be used by Cruxis

Spoiler: Egyptian Legend

The Egyptian Legend Weapon is a mythical weapon that is a fairly rare catch, though is a strong weapon for though who can't find the other's. This weapon is fairly easy. All you have to do is find and defeat a Quetzalcoatl, a Killer Scorpion, a Brozrahna, or a Golrahna. The drop for each enemy is 50%

The Egyptian Legend can only be used by Kira

Spoiler: Wolfbane

The Wolfbane Weapon is the hardest weapon to get in the entire game so far. The only way to get this weapon is to defeat the Allaas enemy many times. The Weapon drop percentage is 1% so it's nearly impossible. It's not a very important weapon, but it'll serve well if you don't have the Flamerend or Egyptian Legend.

The Wolfbane can only be used by Kira

 

[Freakonaleash]

Looks cool, I like the idea for the story and i look forward to the demo, Do you already have a working Strategy battle system?
Oh and you spelled Intense Wrong.

 

[Diedrupo]

It seems like I can't do anything in your demo besides talk to people in the town. Nothing happens when I try to assist in digging the tunnel. Is that all there is to the demo?

 

[JakeyZombie]

Your story doesn't sound too bad, to be honest. Your names seem a bit overdone though, in the sense that you're trying to make a few of them stand out so much that they just turn out a tad bit odd.

Are there any GOOD working strategy battle systems for RMXP yet? From what I know all the ones available have multiple minor bugs, or something. I haven't quite kept up to date on them though, to be honest, as I could care less.

 

[CIPWM74]

Spoiler: Possibly Offensive

Is there a connection between Kilala's race and her last name?

Umm... Where do the characters fit in with the story?

 

[brainstorm]

It seems like I can't do anything in your demo besides talk to people in the town. Nothing happens when I try to assist in digging the tunnel. Is that all there is to the demo?

Heck no There is way more... than that Try looking in the houses there's gotta something. Remember that the Mayor (That should be the City Official (It's not a Democracy)) is a supporter of the Serpentine. Look for a dead bird... too.

Spoiler: Possibly Offensive

Is there a connection between Kilala's race and her last name?

Umm... Where do the characters fit in with the story?

Um... I don't believe so. I have a friend by that name... I have no idea what it means, but I don't believe it means anything racially offensive.

All the character's in the in the topic so far are part of the Serpentine if that's what you mean. The Serpentine is a rebel group that have a mission to find answers as to why the Koronel(As the call the royal group). Cut them off from trade routes. There Not a violent rebel group but they'll take arms if anyone gets in their way...

Your story doesn't sound too bad, to be honest. Your names seem a bit overdone though, in the sense that you're trying to make a few of them stand out so much that they just turn out a tad bit odd.

Are there any GOOD working strategy battle systems for RMXP yet? From what I know all the ones available have multiple minor bugs, or something. I haven't quite kept up to date on them though, to be honest, as I could care less.

Thanks and no there isn't, I'm trying my best to make the battles in Kiss of the Serpent a little strategic. Limiting Skills and challenging Battles.








Thank you all for the comments. I hope you have fun...

 

[Diedrupo]

Okay I will poke around more, thanks for the hints.

 

[brainstorm]

There's Two cities and two dungeons in the Chapter 1 demo. Two more days until the demo gets posted here. And another bit of info:

There are three things that I forgot, or didn't have time to do. When you get to these three things a pop-up will say Unavailable in Beta Test Mode. It's unavailable in all modes. I'm working on the scripts and such for those limitations as I post this.

 

[Cygnea]

Played a bit of your game tonight and got to the part where you enter the tunnel. Too tired to get past that at the moment but will continue eventually.

I think the surname Negra was mentioned because it looks so close to negro and Kilala's dark-skinned. Just a thought.

From what I've seen, though, I'm not terribly impressed, and I don't say that to be mean. There are simply a number of things you could do to make your game more enjoyable.

Your beginning goes by very fast; everything from the start to the spot I stopped out could be stretched out to provide a bigger impact. Right now it goes by so quickly it's almost not worth mentioning, and the opening text sounds like it's trying too hard to be dramatic.

The town is also extremely small and could stand to be added to. If it's suffering so badly, make it more apparent through the NPCs and the setting. They're supposed to be starving and whatnot but besides a few cracks in the floors and walls, they had a lot of nice stuff. Maybe ditch the carpets, lose some of the possessions and work in a comment about how they're running out of things to sell for food or something.

Your dialogue could be much better and you need to fix up your grammar in places. It's very wooden at the moment and it's just about impossible to get a feel for the characters or their relationships with each other. I suggest writing it out in a word document if you haven't already and planning it that way. Seeing it all at once might make it easier to revise. The opening scene sounds like it was designed to let the player know what was happening instead of being a normal conversation. Try working your exposition in more smoothly.

The main character's mom simply coughs every time you talk to her and you get the same explanation about her being sick. It'd be nice to see some conversation between them.

Your NPCs also just walk around randomly. Try giving a few of them custom move routes so they're not just standing or wandering around aimlessly.

That dead bird seems a very odd, random way to advance the plot. The player is basically told to wander around and must find it to advance the plot but there are no hints or reasons to think of looking for it. That girl mentioned the plan going into effect tomorrow so I automatically assumed I would have to sleep or something.

The first battle was very easy. I simply spammed my skills and waited for him to die. I suggest doing something to change that up, probably lowering the player's stats and varying up the enemy's strategy. There's also no explanation for what that cross is at the lop left of the screen.

This may just be a personal thing, but I noticed your note saying that you're trying to make the dog, Kira, an important character. Would the game really lose anything if you simply cut him?

Expect this to be updated tomorrow. At the moment I'm about falling asleep on my keyboard. ':|

 

[brainstorm]

Wow... Never got that kind of comment before. I really appreciate it, because I'm new to this, I really want to make this game a quality one. My grammar is a very big problem apparently... Over half of th people who have played said that. I'm trying to make the battles, and dungeons harder. All I can really do from here is try harder to expand the relationship. Thanks for that comment.

I wish they had a proofreader function in RMXP.

I know why it's possibly offensive, but if I wanted to offend anyone I would have actually used the word. I don't mean to offend anyone... I'm just needed a name so I went with someone I knew.
If you want me to change the surname I will.

 

[Cygnea]

It's no trouble.

One way to check your grammar would be to rewrite everything out in something like MSWord beforehand.

Also, I have no problem with her surname.

Edit: The dungeons are easy enough, if a bit boring. The second town was pretty bland, too, and it seemed like you had stuff you could have built up on but tossed to the side - the man who just lost his brother would have been a great way of presenting the problem, I think. Giving them names would have helped so that they weren't just saying brother all the time.

You're not telling the player where to go, just dropping them in a town and letting them wander around. The way to advance the plot is so random, I would have never thought about it. You said you were going to change it, but try to make things like that easier to figure out and actually related to what's going on at the moment if possible.

In battle, Kira's about useless. He died with me and I didn't have any trouble without him, and someone else told me he only hits 0 for the boss anyway. If he has zero SP, why give him skills?

Once you give a character a command, you can't go back and change it. This is mildly annoying in a turn-based system, but personally doesn't bother me very much.

The party seemed intent on reaching wherever they were going, but when they entered the pyramid they were suddenly talking about saving people and I was confused because it came out of nowhere. Build it up more; show them discovering the problem and then deciding to do something about it.

As for the end, I didn't care that that particular character showed up again. Because you hadn't built up any personalities or relationships between them, I couldn't summon up any feelings.

 

[brainstorm]

It's no trouble.

One way to check your grammar would be to rewrite everything out in something like MSWord beforehand.

Also, I have no problem with her surname.

Edit: The dungeons are easy enough, if a bit boring. The second town was pretty bland, too, and it seemed like you had stuff you could have built up on but tossed to the side - the man who just lost his brother would have been a great way of presenting the problem, I think. Giving them names would have helped so that they weren't just saying brother all the time.

Your going to end up one of my favorite beta testers

Again All I can really say is I'll try harder on the NON-Beta test version...
I gave the first one a name, but I wanted it to be clear they were brothers, not random people. I understand though.

I wanted Kira to be pretty useless until a certain level.

You're not telling the player where to go, just dropping them in a town and letting them wander around. The way to advance the plot is so random, I would have never thought about it. You said you were going to change it, but try to make things like that easier to figure out and actually related to what's going on at the moment if possible.

In battle, Kira's about useless. He died with me and I didn't have any trouble without him, and someone else told me he only hits 0 for the boss anyway. If he has zero SP, why give him skills?

I wanted Kira to be pretty useless until a certain level.

Once you give a character a command, you can't go back and change it. This is mildly annoying in a turn-based system, but personally doesn't bother me very much.

That's due to a scripting problem that really doesn't matter enough to be fixed... If it becomes a problem I'll try to fix it.

The party seemed intent on reaching wherever they were going, but when they entered the pyramid they were suddenly talking about saving people and I was confused because it came out of nowhere. Build it up more; show them discovering the problem and then deciding to do something about it.

Um... I'll try harder? lol. It's kinda hard because I've never done this sorta thing before.

As for the end, I didn't care that that particular character showed up again. Because you hadn't built up any personalities or relationships between them, I couldn't summon up any feelings.

Like before, I'll try harder. It's because I've had a personal experience like that. The non-beta testing version will be somewhat better, I promise.

 

[brainstorm]

I don't know if you can double post or not... But way more than a day has passed. I know it's a bit late but, the BetaTest Demo is up at RMXP. I'd really like for you not to download it until the full version is up... due to all the bad things said, but I did promise.

 

[BunnyKinx]

i dont know if its been said...

but i just wanted to say....

I have never heard of a 4 year old puppy.... more like 4 month old :S

 

[brainstorm]

No it hasn't been said... I'll do some research on the internet... I'd guess she's not really a puppy... due to the new back story I have set up for her, but yeah... thanks...


(4 * 7 = 28)

 

[brainstorm]

Announcements

Um... This is not an addition type of post. I have not added anything to the first post. This is an Announcement post. I am announcing that...[/FONT]

• Kiss of the Serpent's Full Chapter 1 Demo will (most likely) be released either this month or early next month.
• KoTS will be excluding the Koronel Notes Feature previously suggested.
• KoTS will include extra weapons and will fix all skill bugs along with a tutorial on how to use them. There will be no Shops for weapons. Weapons can only be found.
• KoTS' Bosses will be harder and more Challenging.

I'm sorry for the delay, I've been looking for a map artist, but now I'm back in development. With the help of Cygnea, Diedrupo, and LackLuster I believe that this game will be my best. I am determined to make a quality game for once.




PS... Check my signature, I kinda need help with icons. Please and Thanks?
[/FONT]

 

[brainstorm]

Most likely, my final update for Kiss of the Serpent:::

I have finished my first ever, decent video game demo (In my opinion).

Savefile
MegaUpload

 

[Despain]

Your characters are all way too young to be realistic. Come on- a 16 year old working as a double agent for the government? You've got to be kidding me.

Additionally everything from those screens seem horrible dark (especially the title scree). If it looms light to you I suggest you adjust your monitor.

 

[brainstorm]

Oops. I forgot to change the character bios.

But, yeah I see why you say it's too dark. For the sake of the argument... Who really had lights, besides candles in that time period?


EDIT::: I updated the front topic with correct ages, though you still probably won't like Cortez's age. He's still only 18.

 

[Diedrupo]

Guys, give this game a chance. Although it does reek of novice game design, Cygnea offered her graceful assistance and basically rewrote 95% of the dialogue in the game. It's probably the best dialogue i've ever experienced in an RMXP game period, and that's including games like Memento Vivere or Shades.

Sasuke89, you need to report this thread to be moved to the completed demos subforum.