Junk-Man's

[Junk-Man]

JUNK-MAN's DILEMMA


Hello, This is probably a bad idea, but I don't know where else to turn

My name is Louis Lewis, A college student in California. Earlier in the year, I met a beautiful women in my finance class. She is highly intelligent and studies a lot. I have studied with her, and eaten with her, but I cannot get the nerve to tell her how I feel. I have done a few favors for her--I won't go into the detail, but I began to suspect that she was using me. Being inexperienced, I called many times a day, and made many mistakes--basically I acted like an obsessive infatuated idiot. Also, I was incredibly nice to her, in an attempt to win her over, on one occasion putting my job and studies at risk to do so. She began to start calling on me to run errands--not even asking nicely. It didn't feel good at all. At the end of the semester, I was really fed up with all of it, and gave up any hope of developing a relationship with her.

However, two months later ( Though I couldn't help seeing her everyday, we waved to each other and smiled as I am supposed to do), she came to me needing help again, I begrudgingly accepted. Over the course of the summer, we have come to know and understand each other better than ever. She even asked me if I wanted to eat with her on two occassions, but on both occassions, something came up. (She invited me to go with her to her home country, too) I really like (probably can go so far as to say love) this woman, but I don't want to risk scaring her off again or making a move to soon. What do I do? My only competition is some fat white guy who likes hip-hop.


~Louis Lewis

PS. I don't want a purely sexual relationship, I just want to be more than just friends.

 

[FzGhouL]

You are about to graduate from college and you still can't build up the nerve to tell a girl you want to start dating?

I know that sounds mean, but seriously. What the hell. Just do it. And by "it" I mean, tell her you want to start dating.

 

[PINEDAXP]

Hmmm... the thing here is not about you scaring her away, it's that she treated you like crap.

I once had a girlfriend like that, and when I noticed, I did cut the whole relationship.

I do agree on you being nice to her, that's being a real gentleman, and I do agree on you being her friend... but no... seriously dude... she used you...

 

[Mega Flare]

dude... go to a NON RPG making forum to ask stuff like this -.-

 

[sandgolem]

Fat white dudes into rap get all the girls, sorry.

She sounds like a craptastic girlfriend even if you did get her. I recommend going to plentyoffish.com and trying your luck there instead (especially since you be shy), most girls will treat you better.

Don't worry about it being too early to make the move though, that should've happened 8 months ago. I'd give you some advice on what to do if you still wanted her but mine wouldn't work if you're a "nice guy" type.

Just do it. And by "it" I mean, tell her you want to start dating.

Can you picture a guy who hasn't gotten the nerve to tell someone how he feels about them for this long saying they want to start dating her? I can, it's not pretty.

 

[Venetia]

dude... go to a NON RPG making forum to ask stuff like this -.-

See my rant in the other thread like this. Seriously, that's a really ignorant thing to say. That's why this is in the General area, not the RMXP section, hon. If you don't have advice, don't post.

____________________

I knew a guy so much like you it's uncanny--the only thing that lets me know you're not him is that your name and locations are different.

The fact of the matter is, nothing anyone can say or do will change your mind.

This chick has strung you along for too long. We women (not me ... But I know a number who do) love to wrap dudes around our fingers who we'll never be interested in. It's so easy for women to string men along. Women get codependency issues when men abuse them physically, and men get all codependent when women play mind games.

If a chick is into you, she'll let you know from the start. We are animals that crave relationships and solidarity in our lovelives, and no self-respecting chick will settle for a half-boyfriend unless she likes to get around. It's very obvious to me that she's using you because I know so many chicks who do this and I know how we think.

If some ugly chick you weren't into kept doing errands and favors for you for free and all you had to do was take her out to lunch once in a while, why not keep that going? Sure, it's depraved, but the perks are obvious and selfish people will be more than happy to take advantage.

Chicks like that want boundaries. They want a man to tell her that they're a couple, and they want to be commanded. That sounds strange, but trust me here. They don't want a dude who picks up their drycleaning for a smile and wink, they want a guy who grabs hold of them and tells them that they belong to him (not in the creepy abusive way but in the romantic, dashing way I guess).

I could go on for hours but my break's over.

 

[Junk-Man]

Been doing somethinking.

Growing up, I was very shy and socially awkward. Now that I am grown, I have put this past behind me.

I don't want to get hurt, but I guess its all part of being a man and doing what needs to be done.

I have her number, I may as well call her up and see how it goes. Wish me luck.

 

[FzGhouL]

If you do that, I commend you.

Agreed with Venetia in some senses.

Good luck.