Introverted

[Cait]

HI! (^.^)/ I have had an interesting few days with a lot of self discovery. (o.o) That's the best kind, honestly. A couple of days ago, someone posted about the MLP series: friendship is magic series, I watched, because I was curious. But the description made me curious: introverted. I have always heard of the word, but never really understood it. When I saw the word, (years ago), I didn't understand, so after awhile forgot about it and moved on. Well, it's thanks to the topic that made me look it up; only to discover that I am not only introverted, but 100% so. OUCH! I have always felt like I was on the outside looking in, while the truth is: I didn't understand why I just couldn't get it. I moved around quite a bit, so being the new kid in so many place was quite hard to begin with. THEN, to have to make new friends must have been even harder.

I always beat myself up for things I say or do, even years later. I will feel :blush: embarrassed about it. WOW! And I just learned that I don't use small talk. You know, how is the weather and such? Well, I told my mom the greatest discovery in the world, only to be told: "You could have asked me, I knew you and your brother were introverted". Which means all those fights that me and my youngest brother got in was merely a conflict on personalities!? He's extroverted and I'm introverted. It explains quite a bit, honestly. So I thought this was a good thing to talk about. What do you do deal with a world that is mostly fitted for extroverts rather than an introvert? How do you make friends when your first instinct is to just stay by yourself in nice peace and quiet?

Me? (#>.<) I don't know, and thus is my problem. (^_^) I am looking forward to seeing the posts, as this is a serious subject I would hope you're serious in your responses. (o.o') Of course, please joke if you must, but please, I am curious as to your thoughts and opinions on the matter at hand? A lot of people don't understand introverts and believe them to be SHY, when that's not the case. An shy person avoids conversations, because he or she is afraid, and introverts are not afraid of conversation at all. Most likely an introvert is going to have a friend or two at the most with quality over quantity. They gain energy by being alone and an extrovert to be alone is murder (driving them, insane, because they want to be the center of attention).

 

[dadevvtsvre]

I used to be a serious introvert. A few years ago, it was really difficult for me to socialize and talk to people I didn't know. I kept to myself unless necessary and found most conversations to be meaningless. I probably would have scored 100% on those tests as well.

I hated being so introverted, though. Human relationships are the core of our beings - we are defined by how we act towards other human beings. We're social by nature, and having strong relationships with other people gives our lives meaning.

So I made it my personal mission to become more sociable and fun to talk to. I let go of preconceived notions of how I viewed other people. I started making more small talk, and dropped the idea that these kinds of conversations were meaningless. Once I started thinking of myself as less of an introvert and more of a guy who prefers peace and quiet, it started becoming much easier to get to know people.

I'm still an introvert by nature. I hate parties and big crowds, and prefer small groups of friends. My ideal Saturday night is spent at home, by myself. I don't have a million friends. The main difference is that I'm much more accepting of other people, and make less assumptions about other people based on how they act towards other people. I feel like I'm a more likable, relatable person now. I can handle situations where I need to talk to lots of people, and can genuinely care about their concerns.

I don't know if that helps or not.

They gain energy by being alone and an extrovert to be alone is murder (driving them, insane, because they want to be the center of attention).

Also, sounds like you have a bit of a grudge towards extroverted people?? Probably not great to make sweeping assumptions, there. Wanting to be the center of attention relates more to narcissism than extroversion.

It's very easy to have nasty thoughts about people who socialize very easily. Back when I was much more introverted, I held grudges against those who had lots of friends, or could talk to others very easily, and had a lot of dumb ideas about their personalities. Bottom line is that you can't really judge a person by whether they're introverted or extroverted, because these are only very vague terms used to define how outwards somebody is about themselves.

As an aside, I think a large chunk of people that use the internet are introverted., this forum included. You're among friends!

 

[dadevvtsvre]

I always beat myself up for things I say or do, even years later. I will feel :blush: embarrassed about it.

Anybody who is able to reflect on themselves objectively has these feelings. It has little to do with whether you are introverted or extroverted. You'll keep having these guilty thoughts until you learn to forgive yourself and move on from the past.

Look at the future as a blank slate in which you can rectify yourself, and let go of stupid things you've done in the past.