Ink

[emopoet]

um. hi. i'm new here. .
pls. read and tell me what you think..

Ink
Black blood drips
From a single tip,
As I watch.
Impassive.

The color stains
A pure white Rose
And drenches
Sight.

It seeps into
A hidden Core
And breaks,
Silently,

The heart
of thought
over a clean
sheet.

 

[e]

I don't have much to say. It's not bad, not particularly good either.

By the way, I think (not sure, though, you'd better check) it's "An hidden core", not "A hidden core".

 

[candle]

No, because the rule is "an" for words that start with vowel sounds, and "a" for words that start with consonant sounds.  It would be "an" if the h was silent.

 

[holloway]

duuude this is so deep. its almost on a par with:

"I've got a phaser boy!
Eat my laser boy!
I'm too good for killer bees."

 

[mawk]

"I've got a phaser boy!
Eat my laser boy!
I'm too good for killer bees."

he's done it again ;-;

so beautiful

I dunno, it's not bad, and it seems to actually have a meaning under it all (unlike a lot of poetry we get here which is just about words that rhyme and Angsty McAngst.) I like the shape it takes, although I think the rhythm could be much tighter in places.

 

[charnak]

i was very impressed, it is an excellent poem, i would be interrested to know what the inspiration for it was? i like the concept of becoming tainted. and "A hidden core" is right, though its a poem it doesnt really matter