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I have a date, I need feedback

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I have a date with a cute girl this Saturday. I told her we'd go out for lunch. She seems a bit shy and reserved, but I think I like that best. Anyhow, I don't really have any plans and I was hoping I could get some feedbacks from some of the girls in the community. What do you like on a first date? What do you find impressionable on a guy? What would make you want a second date with a guy? I rarely ask a girl out, so, to be honest, I'd really like this to work. Besides, she's in my class at medicine school, which means I'd get to spend time with her. My schedule is so busy I rarely have free time, and I think the only feasible way of having a girlfriend is dating someone in my class. By the way, my skills include French and Italian cooking, piano playing, and being an incredibly good listener.
 
im not a girl, but i can tell you that girl dont like bad smell,hair nose sticking out :haha:
if shes shy maybe you should be active one ,goodluck :thumb:
 

Jason

Awesome Bro

Okay so I'll give you a tip that helps while on a date:

Get them talking, and listen.

That's it, for some reason all girls like guys that can actually stand to sit there and listen to their rants... and if she doesn't have anything to talk about, YOU have to start up a conversation, hopefully on something you have common ground in, tell her a story about the weirdest patient you've had, and see if she can top it, be humorous etc.

Seriously, don't get nervous or anything, just go in, be yourself but try not to just sit there and hope she'll talk first, otherwise you could be sat in an awkward silence all night.
 
confidence & a sense of humor!!!!!

be careful that you do not dress like a hobo. don't over-gel the hair. women notice everything.

do not use a shitload of cologne. chicks prefer a man that smells good, but not one that smells like they live in a perfume factory. one small spritz is more than enough!

the only thing i look for in a first date are for me & the date to have similar interests, and that the dude has a charming intelligence about him.

specifically, i was looking for a Han Solo/Indiana Jones personality. someone who knew what they wanted, and had the wits to get it. (and i met that someone :3)

being timid/easily embarrassed/"sweet" may win you "cute" points, but it's not going to set up a respectful relationship, let alone get her into bed any faster!

on the first 2 dates specifically, don't fawn over her, over-compliment her, or express any meaningful feelings. even if she likes what you say, it will put you in a position of inferiority. she'll feel like you were "easy to get" and will not feel the need to keep improving herself for you. it's not about personality there. it's about relationship psychology. the first few dates, where you establish your impressions of each other, will define the power struggle you'll have for years to come (if it lasts that long).

but yeah just be confident. women respond more to that than anything else. even if you have to fake it.
 
Women like a man's smile, a good smile goes a long way.

They also love to hear their own name. Rather than saying 'you', try using her name. "So NAMEHERE, xquestion here?" or "Hahaha, that was really funny NAMEHERE."

It starts to sound a bit like a job interview, but it kind of is an interview. There are two kinds of first dates, a) go out and have a ton of fun, don't really get to know each other TOO well, or b) sit down, talk, use some passive event like a movie or theatre to give you something to talk about.

A) works best as a second date, but can be used for a first date if you already know the girl enough (friend of a friend, classmate, co-worker) and makes a good lasting impression.

My girlfriend and I went to shoot billiards on our first date, which is slow enough that you can talk to each other, and interesting enough to give you something to talk about.
 
Jbrist":2f9f6a91 said:
That's it, for some reason all girls like guys that can actually stand to sit there and listen to their rants...
well that's a matter of personality imo.
i, personally, am a very quiet sort. i never have much to say, outside of anecdotal humor or expressing interests.

but yeah awkward silences can kill on a date. think of them like interviews for jobs. you wouldn't want an awkward silence THERE, so you keep expressing reasons why you're the best person for the job. in this case, you have to demonstrate that you're the best plug for her socket. :kiss:


OH, and always give atleast 1 day between dates, mostly without contact, in the beginning! you never want to seem like you're desperate.


edit:
Prexus":2f9f6a91 said:
Women like a man's smile, a good smile goes a long way.

They also love to hear their own name. Rather than saying 'you', try using her name. "So NAMEHERE, xquestion here?" or "Hahaha, that was really funny NAMEHERE."
yeah actually this is 100% true for some reason.



OH and if she establishes ANY physical contact--like brushing something off you, or tugging a sleeve, or grazing your hand with hers, etc.--it's a very good sign that she digs you.
Ditto for you (where you make even very light physical contact), but as a dude, you have to be more sparing/careful with it.


edit edit:
On my 1st date with my bf, I knew I was head-over-heels within the first hour. We were just shooting the shit in a claustrophobic bar, and the conversation was amazing.

But wanting the 2nd date was definitely cemented when, as we were walking somewhere, he reached over and touched my elbow to call my attention to something to look at. i validated it by poking him after a sarcastic joke. it seems innocuous, but those two little touches meant so much that I still remember them.

Weird, but ... Well, I can attest from 1st-hand experience that women are weird.


(Our second date had him taking me on a sunset boat ride. I can't more highly recommend that for a 2nd date :] )
 
Try not to treat it too formally and structured, as if you're reading from a checklist. It's not a job interview, after all; you're just trying to get to know the person.
 
Thank you. The comments have been insightful and provided me with some confidence. I have also learned the importance of small details, giving her space, and overall "keeping it in my pants" the first couple of dates. As it turns out, I have an important family reunion at 6:00-7:00pm. Hence, the date will be earlier in the day. I thought perhaps we could brunch or lunch, sit down and talk, and perhaps watch a movie or a theater performance. If anyone has any other thoughts on this, I'd love to hear them. Also, I don't know whether it's too early to take her to the family reunion. Keep in mind I live in Central America, where families tend to be very close. It's a celebration for my brother, who got into a Psychiatry residency. Would she feel awkward having to meet so many different people? Or perhaps this would be a nice gesture? Should I give her the choice of going or not going? What do you girls think?
 
Thank you. The comments have been insightful and provided me with some confidence. I have also learned the importance of small details, giving her space, and overall "keeping it in my pants" the first couple of dates. As it turns out, I have an important family reunion at 6:00-7:00pm. Hence, the date will be earlier in the day. I thought perhaps we could brunch or lunch, sit down and talk, and perhaps watch a movie or a theater performance. If anyone has any other thoughts on this, I'd love to hear them. Also, I don't know whether it's too early to take her to the family reunion. Keep in mind I live in Central America, where families tend to be very close. It's a celebration for my brother, who got into a Psychiatry residency. Would she feel awkward having to meet so many different people? Or perhaps this would be a nice gesture? Should I give her the choice of going or not going? What do you girls think?
 
Amy Pond":1f3mi7hv said:
Try not to treat it too formally and structured, as if you're reading from a checklist. It's not a job interview, after all; you're just trying to get to know the person.


Sorry Wyatt, but it totally is. Yeah, it's not structured. You can make jokes, you can get playful, but you are trying to get as much information from them as possible. If I were on a date, as either the woman or the man, and found that my partner had no interesting in getting to know me, or asked no questions at all.. well. I'd be skeptical that I was being used for cheap easy sex. Which i'd totally have because i'm a whore.
 
Juan J. Sánchez":2a65jrzr said:
Thank you. The comments have been insightful and provided me with some confidence. I have also learned the importance of small details, giving her space, and overall "keeping it in my pants" the first couple of dates. As it turns out, I have an important family reunion at 6:00-7:00pm. Hence, the date will be earlier in the day. I thought perhaps we could brunch or lunch, sit down and talk, and perhaps watch a movie or a theater performance. If anyone has any other thoughts on this, I'd love to hear them. Also, I don't know whether it's too early to take her to the family reunion. Keep in mind I live in Central America, where families tend to be very close. It's a celebration for my brother, who got into a Psychiatry residency. Would she feel awkward having to meet so many different people? Or perhaps this would be a nice gesture? Should I give her the choice of going or not going? What do you girls think?

I know by American/Canadian standards, the first date is not the ideal date to introduce your family. My fiancee is Portuguese, and very family oriented, and I still didn't truly meet them for ~1 month.
 
If they are in a position to say no you're doing it wrong / need stronger stuff.

Seriously though if you're in her class anyway spend time with her in class and get to be friends rather than pushing for the whole date dealie.


Round here meeting the parents is generally seen as a BIG MOVE, so I wouldn't go for a whole family reunion on the first date!
 
No offense Wyatt.. Its just that not pushing the date thing is a poor idea. You should be able to establish a relationship through dating just as easily as cozying up in class, but there is no misdirection or chance for misunderstanding. If you are asking a girl on a date, and taking her on dates on a regular or semi-regular basis, there is a clear intent to be dating that person. If you are just cozying up to them in class and becoming friends, the girl may become confused as to your intentions. Do you want to be friends, or do you want to be dating? If she thinks the latter, she may think you are inadequately confident because you are not asking her out. Pussyfooting around your goal is no way to reach it. You're better off being more direct. You also avoid the possibility of her being picked up by another guy while you are slowly easing into it.

A theme park is a great idea for a first date, but I wouldn't surprise her with it. Lots of people don't like theme parks, and even those that do, sometimes don't like rides. They just tolerate theme parks as a reason to be with friends and have fun, and utilize the other things (such as water parks, midway games, and non-interactive attractions) to have fun. This may not be your cup of tea, so tension is created by either you seeming bored, or her seeming terrified or uncomfortable.
 

Anski

Sponsor

Just go and be yourself. If you aren't, it'll come to the surface and she'll think you've 'changed' when you just end up being yourself all along.
No need to act like it's any different than normal.
 
She has her own group of friends as I have mine. Personally, I don't her friends like me very much, but I don't care. During classes I greet her with a small inoffensive kiss on the cheek - also a Latin American tradition -, but I definitely don't sit next her, at least not often. I personally think she needs space. I'm afraid if I start being too close to her, she'll think I'm a creep.

EDIT: Also, I love handing out gifts? Can I give her a gift on a first date? Is it weird? I wasn't planning on giving her diamond earrings, just a small memento, nothing more expensive than $10.
 
Yeah meeting family is def not 1st date material. it should be you & her getting to know each other and that's it--doesn't matter how close your fam is :)

imo a theme park date is lots of fun :D
but yeah make sure she likes theme parks in the 1st place.


Juan J. Sánchez":2xewt2z2 said:
EDIT: Also, I love handing out gifts? Can I give her a gift on a first date? Is it weird? I wasn't planning on giving her diamond earrings, just a small memento, nothing more expensive than $10.
no no no. seems too desperate/will give her unreasonable expectations. relax and then maybe nonchalantly give it sometime around date 3+.
 
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